Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Alien vs. Predator vs. me vs. awesome


So it is no surprise that the last time they tried one of these movies, the consistent tards in Hollywood central, decided to make it pg-13. In what I can imagine was an attempt at drawing in more of the teen market. Here's the thing the pencil pushing douches failed to realize... No one under 18 gives a crap about AVP. Don't get me wrong, teen peeps will be drawn to it for sure, but the folks who were really worked up... I mean sweaty nipple worked up, are the teens that watched the movies, played the games, and all the other shizzie through the 80s, and early 90s. They also underestimated how many of us would show up.

So AVP number uno, came out, had a huge opening, and then disappeared from the radar, why? Because we all went and said,"" "man, it was okay, but how in the sweet hell to you make a film that is a union of two franchises famous for their gore and chaotic violence, and come up with a teen friendly action romp".

When they started promoting this flick they wanted to let everyone on planet earth, and planet Kwacklar (long story, can't get into it right now) know that this flick was R. The website was AVP-R, the advertising, was almost comical. But heck y'all, got my nips window cut ready.

Ya. I'm bad. 
Soooooooooooo.... this movie was awesome. I've mentioned many times that you can have a dumb movie. or a smart movie, you can't combine the two, this is the perfect example of an awesome dumb movie. 

Don't try to distract with retarded plot twists, no long explanations, just the Predator thing hates the alien things, and they're on earth. Let the head losing, limb tossing fun begin. And oh, is there violence, I think I was smiling through at least half of this movie. The Alien vs. Predator action is awesome, and continual (though sadly too dark on occasion), the humans are served up fast and furious, and drop like flies, and the one blonde chick, (insert bite on knuckle) un-freaking-real.

The plot picks up right where the first one left off, a cool plus i didn't expect. The ship crashes, and master predator heads to earth to clean up, and hunt the ultimate prey, a new alien predator hybrid. That's all you need to know really, insert a bunch of townsfolk in the middle, army guys, lots of guns, you get the idea. If you love sci-fi, any of the alien or predator flicks, action, bloodshed, cheesy goodness, you will have a fun time with this flick. The ending was a little weird, definitely pushing for another sequel, but it kinda felt like a "to be continued" at the end of a TV show, but whatever, by that point it didn't matter, I was so very satisfied.

ONE LINE REVIEW - They keep making em' I'll keep seeing em. Aw yeah. 

Movie scale - 3 out of 5 stars
Horror/sci-fi scale - 4 out of 5 stars

No comments: