Thursday, April 30, 2009

All that and he's Canadian bitches!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Okay the X men have been an enduring staple in mainstream pop culture for probably the majority of most of yous existence. Why? Because superheroes rock, and so does wolverine (with an honorable mention to Gambit of course). So the Xmen movie made a ton of money and, as with the comic, Wolverine is was the standout favorite. And what's not to love? He's roughedly handsome, ripped, nearly immortal, has a code of honor, and spits in the face of authority (okay more than likely a growl). Can you get a cooler power than healing power (although one that over the years has grown from heals quickly to you can blow him up and he'll just grow back), and metal claws that cut anything.
One thing I will never understand in reference to comic, or videogame movies is why... WHY?! Can't they just hand the Hollywood writer guy the backstory, or say "read these 23 comics" and then let them write the script. Or have them actually play the game and write the script... anything. So you have probably gathered from that little rant that those of us whom have enjoyed the comic for many a year will be having a lot of "what the hell" moments. Yes much like Xmen movies (and everybody letting Brian "I make super heroes boring" Singer) the plot takes glorious, and ridiculous sidesteps from anything that has been.
So plot is... This is the story of how Wolverine became Wolverine. Seriously that's all you need. Let's start with the good, acting. Ryan Reynolds is perhaps one of the funniest best parts of the film, and yet has almost no screen time (a tragedy). Hugh "buff enough" Jackman has another blast playing Wolverine. Liev, who I wasn't to sure of as Sabertooth, does a pretty good job, and the list goes on. There are some really great superhero cameos, including finally, GAMBIT is in the house, and looking fantastic. And by that I mean his abilities, not that ol' Boony is attracted to his long haired man-ness. All the superheros and villains are much fun. Heck there's even some young Xmen moments in there. The action scenes are fun, and over the top, in a still cool way. Although watching Wolverine superman a helicopter was a bit much.
Now for the bad... Everything else. The plot goes from awesome to suck and jumps back and worth between the two at random. Ending with what can only be described as a WEAK showdown. Hey best part of the Wolverine movie should have been the Sabertooth fights... yeah combine them, maybe two minutes long. And the last showdown is ..... KA-KA. The special effects are at mediocre at best. And where was the "Mon Ami" from Gambit? WHERE!?
Overall worth watching, and slamming some popcorn and having a good time. Though the tag line for the commercials states the "The summer begins" with this release. I hope not, because I'd be scared to see how it ended...

Movie scale 2 stars out of 5
action scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Grab your Xmen decoder rings, get a girl who has her own mutant powers :P and take the ride...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pedal to the medal


Who likes fast cars, fast women, exploding things, tough guy moments, and Vin Diesel in a tank for a whole movie?
Me, me, me, me, me, ... Okay so maybe not so excited about the last one there but I know some of you will be. "The Fast and the Furious" was a huge hit years ago when it hit the scene. It made would be stars out of Diesel, and Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez (also for some reason Jordana Brewster did not get the same love, hello, she is mad cute), and how did they thank the people who made this film when approached for a sequel? Well they all asked for insane amounts of money, and pulled diva on it. With the exception of Paul Walker, who agreed to return despite the horrid title of "2 Fast 2 Furious"... although to be fair the series has always had title trouble. "Um, so Billy what should we call this here new one, the same as the first one, oh that's brilliant we'll drop the "the""

Vin is back as Dom, with everyone, in the film that should have happened years ago. But now that everyones career has stalled and they can all take a bit of a pay cut, they're back. Dom is still robbing things in fast cars, that is until someone close to him gets offed, and then he returns for revenge. Walker is all mighty FBI man now, and his case just so happens to bring him across Dom road for vengeance. From there its fast cars, double crosses, people getting face smashed, and well everything you might expect... and I loved it.

The action movie has been a declining genre in Hollywood, so when a damn good one comes along I get excited. Vin is the best big good guy going on right now, period. When he's on he could go Arnold in his T-2 glory. As I've mentioned before Walker has a soft spot inside Boonsweet, think sick thoughts if you want to but know that is so wrong (insert wagging finger of shame). The whole cast plays the stereotypes to glorious perfection. The tough guys are tough, the bad guys are as tough, the FBI want to the right thing but can't quite stop being douches... All makes for a ninety plus minute adrenaline joy ride.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action scale 4 out of 5 stars

Get your kick ass booties laced up grab some friends and go check this one out on the big screen. You will not be disappointed... :)

Boonsweet out bitches

Pro choice


Okay so first let ol' Boony here apologize for being a mad wicked douche and neglecting my public informing responsibilities. I do occasionally get a wee bit distracted by the world at large, and some pretty ambitious writing projects... That being said, let us continue...

So to start things off the big push behind this here film when it was going through the advertising process was that one of the co-writers of "The Dark Knight" wrote this. Do not expect brilliance. This film has its moments, but as is the case with more than a few entries in the horror mainstream, the plot at some point is almost so nonsensical that you must unplug your brain for the logic cortex as it may overload your sense stream resulting in loss of control over such things as drool, and jaw closing... okay so I made that up, but it sounded freaking legit!

So super hot chick is being stalked by evil demon kid with a habit of twisting heads upside down. Before the end of this here adventure the demon kid will be attached to twins, killing babies, making four year olds extremely creepy, Jews, Nazi experimentation... and really messing up and old guy in a hospital gown (even though he's in a nursing home? Confused? You should be. Oh that super hot chick one plus, looks just like Megan Fox. Which is never a bad thing. I mean this in a non negative way, because as far as I can tell Odette Yustman is every inch the actress Miss Fox is, but literally it was as if producer Michael Bay (behind the Transformers) said "well I can't get that super hot bitch from my Go-bots flick, so this one will do, oh, and she's cheaper".

Anywho... so she decides an exorcism will do the trick... insert all kinds of screaming, lights dimming, and all the other Hollywood cliches we've come to expect from any piece of priest vs. demon moment. Although - why Odette (playing the lovely possessed Casey) was strapped to bed with something that looked suspiciously of hardcore S&M I'm not sure (To anyone that does not know what s&m is, well I'm hardly going to harsh your fragile ears eyes, with an explanation). I might be making this sound like a by the numbers demon flick, and it is. However it does have a few genuinely creepy moments. It seemed however that the only thing this film had going for it was some slick direction (David S Goyer man behind Blade 3 and the forgettable "Invisible"), making the most out of every scare, but there just isn't enough there to hold the viewers interest. The acting is average, with the exception of a "What the hell are you doing in this movie" moment with Gary Oldman.

In closing expect some scares, some creeps, and a lot of "Um, are they serious"...

Movie scale 1.5 out of 5 stars
horror scale 2 out of 5 stars.

Another Owww my head moment... but prob worth one view with a lady friend, and some snacks.