Thursday, September 17, 2009

Still Chill

ICE AGE 3 (2009)

Those of you with allergic reactions to cute will not be able to watch this film.
Also anyone suffering from
1) Cute stress fraction arm sensitiveitis
2) High cute related blood pressure coma
3) Spontaneous overcute eye explosion
and several over cute to pain diseases... stay away. So very far away. This film is so cute I smiled like I had kids. Several.
One thing the makers of the ICE AGE films have always understood about big flashy summer computer animated blockbusters, is that they are big flashy summer movie blockbusters. They don't have to make any real sense, or hide deeper meanings, no gross statements about our impending consumerism related doom (I loved Wall-e just saying). Its simple. Make it bright, fun, cute, and slip in a bunch of adult humor to get the parents less pissed about being surrounded by a theatre of screaming kids.
This movie was in 3D in theatre does that matter? No. Moving on.
So our favorite survivors of the ICE AGE are back. Manny (voiced by Ray Romano) the mammoth is expecting his first child with girlfriend Ellie (Queen Latifah). Side note, can you imagine the babies Ray Romano and the Queen would make in real life...
Damn my grandkids just puked...
And so we continue.
Sid the sloth finds baby Dino eggs, decides he wants to be a Momma (so many things wrong with that), and takes them. They hatch and turn out to be Baby T-rexes. Chaos ensues, small dinos are playfully almost digested, and the like. Then big Momma shows up and drags them and Sid back to the underground world of the Dinosaurs. Enter one of the funnest characters yet, Buck Voiced brilliantly by Simon Pegg), an eye patch wearing... well not really sure what he is, who guides them through the perils of the new Dino world to Sid.
Thought it all we learn a few messages about friendship, or baby making, or you're only old if you feel old, or whatever really. Big Dinos. Some of the funniest one liners;
-It's a boy
-That's her trunk
-Its a girl
Trust me... there's giggle in spades. Watched the sabertooth tiger do the burning paw dance cracked me up. And the cute is so damn CUTE. The little T-rexes are nothing but lovable. I might even hug the jeep chasing Grampa rex in Jurassic Park after this.

Family flick scale 4 out of 5 stars
Movie scale 3 out of five stars.

Its good fun.
Brings kids or
Drugs.... I mean or friends... and chips...
Yeah chips.

-Charles B. Boonsweet is signing.... wait... wait the nut hunting squirrel. Oh... its good... nuts... woman... couch moving...

Lata you ice sucking fiends

King Of the B flick Period


Bruce Campbell is the biggest film star 67% of you have never heard of. Further surprising to that percentile, other than his existence, might be the near godlike worship that the 26% of he remaining 33% exhibit towards the man. Deadites as they are commonly referred to ( a name based on his cult classic EVIL DEAD trilogy). We (yes I am in that category) have followed this man for years . He has a knack for appearing in some of the dumbest (the man with the screaming brain) to the strangely brilliant (Bubba Ho Tep) but somehow he always makes it interesting.
So amidst low budget film superiority, what do you do to top your cheese filled, gore drenched, sci fi familiars? You make a self bashing movie in which you play yourself. A would be movie star, driving a shit mobile, and living in a shack where you drunk call your ex, who happens to be shaggin your agent.
This film is filled with great cameos, and it is made for Bruce fans, unapologetically. This is by Bruce for you. He wrote it and directed it, and unlike the MAN WITH THE SCREAMING BRAIN, its really, really cool.

Plot - Small town under siege from old school Asian demons. A Bruce obsessed fan is convinced he is the only one that can help. The town is desperate so they get behind his plan to kidnap the clueless Bruce. He arrives, half drunk, and pissed. Deciding the whole thing is a birthday prank from his agent, he goes along with it. Getting drunk with the rednecks, and seducing the bar maid. The trouble starts, or continues, when he realizes its all real... and he's the only one acting.

The film is fun. Insider giggles all around. There is a chance someone who has never seen at least three Bruce flicks might enjoy this. There is plenty of giggle cheese (goes great with chuckle crackers), and horror B greatness (the lovely beheadings). By this is for us the followers of a cult icon.

Horror/comedy scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

I still think if you dig ghouls and one liners... you might just get something out of this. But trust in the Boonsweet, if you are a Bruce C fan you must watch... hell you probably already have...

Chuck B is out this peace!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Alien Refugees? Yup

DISTRICT 9 (2009)

How many people do you know that have seen this flick? I know about 42, and you know what everyone has said to me... "Wow it was really good, totally not what I was expecting"
I must say I agree. I don't know what I was expecting, but DISTRICT 9 was brilliant. Great sci fi. The most original, put a message in your face film making I have seen in a while. I imagine n example might be if Disney/Pixar made a film about finding an alternative to oil energy, yeah something like that.
The trick here is to explain the plot without giving to much away.
Alien ship stopped over city. They found 1.4 million aliens on board. They were all transported to what is basically a slum, where they are mistreated, misunderstood and used. The big thing is all the alien technology is made for just aliens. Humans can't use it so you have all this warring companies trying to be the first to master alien tech but no one can. After twenty years, people decide they've had enough of the aliens being in their city, causing trouble and eating cat food, so in comes big time company (mercenary employer) to move them, peacefully by force to their lovely new concentration camp. In comes Sharlto Copley as Wickus. This is Copley's first movie and sweet hell does he rock. Mark my words. You are going to see him every where. He is sensitive, strong, weak, ignorant, heroic, and all of them well. he is the man sent to "Move" the aliens out.
So Wickus... ignorant push over he is ends up getting caught in what is a rather complex situation with alien escape and the like.

The style of the film is great. Shifting effortlessly form documentary, to real time, to interviews, everything coming together to tell one of the best, emotional action adventures in a while. Did I say Whoa to the action?
The action is violent and wickedly directed. You will want to stand up and cheer at some points... heck feel free to, others will follow (Boonsweet does not actually guarantee audience participation, if you find yourself singled out and being glared at, do not take it out on me. Luv bitches... luv)

To the point
- Sci fi action scale 4.5 out of 5 stars
- movie scale 4 out of five stars

Great performances from every one. Can I say utterly believable. See it. Now.


Chuck Boonsweet

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Oh you silly demon things ha ha ha (Ninja movie of the Month September 2009)


Anime is a wondrous art form. Folks around the globe have been appreciating it for what it is; honest old school story telling. Through anime the film scene in Japan has exploded. The lines have begun to blur as well. The insane violence and sex of early, and continuing entries in the genre, suddenly finding ways into mainstream, live action film making. The Godfathers "Akira" "Ghost in the Shell" "Ninja Scroll" as inspiring an entire generation of artists.
Blood was a anime that blew up the scene in the mid nineties. It was 45 minutes long and used some brand new digital enhancing techniques. Minds were blow across the globes. It was short, sweet, violent, and beautiful.
So when I heard it was coming to the a live action theatre near me, I was excited, and it was English, not that I have subtitle issues, still being a joint production the budget would more than likely be a little more ... impressive.
The original story was as such... Old school super powered vamp chick, with a sword, kills demons, with the help of an "Organization". She then kills demons on an army base in 1966. End movie.
The new one goes as such... old school super powered vamp chick, with a sword (that she now likes to kick out of the sheath), kills demons with the help of "The Council". She goes to American army base in 1966 saves generals daughter from vamps. Daughter gets caught up in the whole secret war between demons and humans (blah, blah) together they end up fighting a whole bunch of bad guys, and then gigantic over the top demonic showdown.

So the good- The action scenes are intense. Awesome. There are three big ones and they all don't disappoint. You get ninja action, huge amounts of blood letting (all be it CGI demon blood, I almost liked it more, had the feel of anime blood letting), super powered full out demons (that turn into demon in a blaze of ash and embers. Not sure what that's about, but still better than Edward's sparkling, seriously)... And really guys the demons don't look have bad. For a lower budget picture, decent. The acting isn't horrible, mostly, and the writing isn't horrible, mostly...

So the bad - Why why WHY can't movie companies just make the damn movie with the original story. I mean the examples are endless, but really is "Well when translating it to the big screen changes had to be made" Bull-shizzie. There were some really cool just like the anime moments here. Shot for shot, but I wanted more of that. The hospital scene for example from the original would have been prime. Or the burning building demon brawl. Also, you've seen this movie before, though perhaps in different parts. Think Blade meets House of the Flying Daggers (yes I know its cool I have to admit). Even though I said the demons looked good, with how good the fight scenes are, they really should have spent more time on them. Gone full makeup, like say Hellboy.

Overall... I think a worthy translation of the idea of BLOOD though perhaps not the story. Lots of fun to be had here guys and gals. Huge action. Ninjas... NINJAS! An old school revenge plot. And an Asian Buffy... haha

Horror/action scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

Boony is out this hobbit hole homies

Take the ride


So you tired of every teen comedy being marketed as the next "Superbad" I know I am... very. Here is a perfect example of what the make a quick buck disease is doing to Hollywood. And they think its pirating...
Adventure land stares a couple of very notable young stars Jesse Eisenberg and the "OMG its Bella from twilight" Kristen Stewart First, and I want to make this very clear, Kristen Stewart is hot, and two the girl can act. Yes I know Twilight has flaws so very many... but it has an army behind it (don't believe me try screaming Edward sucks ass and his eyebrows are demons at a Jonas Bros concert; I was pulling cell phones out of places I didn't even know I had, well okay most I had previously discovered through self exploration). I mean Kristen has gone toe to toe with Meg Ryan and held her own, and that's something. And Mr. Eisenberg is on the cusp of Michael Cera like fame. Give it time (the upcoming Zombieland will probably help)
As I was saying this is not a gross out, look away from the screen with a eye through your fingers, teen comedy. This is a really... really good... not so funny drama.
Story goes as such troubled life not working out type (Jesse) gets stuck at an amusement park for the summer, when he was suppose to go mad sex party in Europe. He's depressed. Meets hot confused chick at park, they discover a lot more to life well wading through the kaka that is their surroundings. The fact that well they're falling for each other Ryan Reynolds is nailing Kristen further complicates things. Think the plot sounds cliche? Don't be fooled. It avoids almost every cliche (there is a romantic moment under fireworks, damn Disney!). Its straight forward and real. You believe every one is 3D. Even those just popping in for a scene. The supporting cast is great. There's no one liners here. No silver screen polish. This is real 1987 love. Did I mention it takes place in 1987, it does. If you're allergic to "Falco" stay away.
The writing is dry, and honest. There are moments that are just awkward, not because they're funny but because we recognize them as growing up. Messing up. And getting up.
It's not a laugh out loud, but you'll chuckle. No scenes you'll act out with your friends after a couple of drinks, but it will make you smile for a while after.

Drama Scale - four out of 5 stars
Movie scale - 3.5 out of 5 stars.

I'm back you snot nosed rabid fan types... enjoy