Saturday, December 5, 2009

THE NINJA MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!! (Probably) December '09


I love ninjas. I have made no attempt at hiding this. It has been a sad time for mainstream ninja flicks. Do you remember the days of American Ninja, and the parade of similar entries (I mean American Ninja 4, Ninjas on rollerblades... priceless). Finally we have NINJA doom dealing in your local cinema, and sweet hell is it awesome.

Okay first. I have read many reviews hating on the CGI blood splatter, limbs, etc. Listen people, purists whatever, I love real old fashion make up and blood packs, but we need to accept those days are done. Hell even the legend Romero has moved on. And yet all these haters are still waiting for it to return... IT"S GONE. Accept it, it shouldn't determine your love of the film. And any movie that has six dismemberment deaths (arms, half face, legs, etc) in the first five minutes deserves attention.

Plot do you need any? Boy raised by Ninjas, falls for Ninja girl, they mess her up. He makes it a mission to kill them all. Did I mention old school flashbacks to explain it all? Goosebumps? You should. First the Ninjas in this movie move how they should, they hide in shadow, move faster than normal man (including one show down where they actually blink out and reappear they are moving so fast). There is so much violence I can't even fit it all in here, I will just say ... Yes.... YEssssssssssssssssssss. The lead is played by an actor/singer who is the JT of Asia. And he holds it down. The guy trained for like eight months or something for this flick, and he makes the roll work, hard. The actions scenes are a ballet of blood and weapons. Some fights as many as twenty on one. Ninja stars flying everywhere... You get the picture. The choreography is awesome. Produced by them Matrix boys you could expect as much.

This is pure popcorn crunching fun. For the boys, or the blood horny ladies... oh they do exist.
I left the theatre with my hands raised... in my mind...
Can not wait for a sequel, here's hoping.

movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Action movie scale 4 out of five stars.

Glorious? Um... Okay...


Quentin Tarantino is one of the last mainstream film makers to continually create entertaining works of art. No matter what the project, he has a certain feel to his films that excite and involve you. Weather its the dialogue, the acting (which he always seems to pull forth even from unknowns), the action (mind-bottling, yes i said that intentionally, Kill Bill anyone). Even in an instance when he shots one scene in a film (I.E. Sin City) the scene stands apart from the rest. You know it's his, and it feels good.

This film was ten years in the making. So I was expecting a lot. Maybe that went against it. All the mainstays of QTs work are here. Razor sharp speak, intensity the likes of which directors can call up, brilliant acting. Violence, insane levels of stomach turning violence (though rather sparse, when they happen its nuts, in example "The choking). Here's where this film falls down, the ending. It's almost as if you can see the part where he was unsure what to do so he just said kill everyone make it look cool, and end film.

The story is two fronts. A group of Nazi killers (headed by the very talented Brad Pitt) who hunt and kill dem nasty Nazi folk. And a girl seeking revenge for her family's death. The villain is a German detective, named the "Jew hunter" and he is very, very good at his job. The first scene of the film is hold your breath intense. It has been a while since we saw a villain like this on screen. One of my favorite villains is Phillip Seymour Hoffman in MI3 (if you haven't watched it yet do to Cruise hatred, watch it) and he makes that guy look like Jafar. As the movie moves forward you can since the impending clash of paths. Only, funny story it never happens.

The cool, balls out American, never has his showdown of wits with the detective. The girl never gets to really live her revenge. Everything just ends in crazy violence. This is not a "Based on true events" was film. So there was so much room to play here. So much. Instead QT seems to get involved to much in his intense dialogue and not in the structure of the plot around it. I'm sorry but you build a villain up like this... and then waste him like he did... it's criminal. Another QT thang is his music. It's always hip and cool. But he layers intense war drama with sound and tricks that feel better suited for Kill Bill and not this. It could have worked had he really gotten into the showdowns, and had a lot of spaghetti fun with the climax. Instead its just death. I mean Hitler... HITLER... didn't even get thirty seconds... W... T... F... that's right I have resorted to instant messenger language... FML.

In closing. Cool flick... great performances... but once you wipe the polish off. And that it's QT and we love him... there is so much more this could have been. SO much more.

movie scale 2.5 out of five stars
Action Drama scale 3 out of five stars.

I think you'll enjoy it, in a way, chat wise, might be some of his most realized creations, and yet... the blah ending.

And so says the Boonsweet for what that's worth... lol hahaha

Peace bitches