Monday, September 7, 2015

Chiller Classics present: The Blob 1988

Welcome my friends to Chiller Classics, where I Charles Bartholomew Boonsweet take you on a trip to the olden, sometimes golden, days of horror.  Hopefully I will introduce you to some fine genre flicks you may not have heard of, either because of how old they are or how obscure, and break down some gory, chill filled, education in Horror History 101. And for those of you who are already well versed in the "good ol' days" of horror, hopefully this will help bring back some nostalgic memories and maybe entice you to see some of these classics again.

Do you want to watch jello eat people? If the answer is no, then perhaps you are just simply not the type that will enjoy 1988's The Blob. A remake of a 1950s sic-fi gem that despite a 6.4 rating on the mega-thumbsup/down that is IMDB remains largely underrated by the horror community.

And you know what I get it. I mean. Its mutant jelly that eats people, dissolves people, and well, more or less destroys anything in it's path.

Your plot: Did you guess alien? You were r-r-r-r-right (well kinda). A meteorite crashes to earth carrying a wicked bit of pink Jelly that wants to eat everything... get bigger, and eat more. A outcast (typical misunderstood 80s badass) played by entourage fame - Kevin Dillon, and the cheerleader - Meg Penny (played by the 80s hottie Shawnee Smith) might be able to save their town from certain glutton... I mean doom. Certain doom.

Man their is a lot to love here. From the pure 80s science fiction vibe. Two great scenes of making out at night - but the blob will get those hormonal types! The effects. You know what lets start there. The effects are magnificent. If you are a videophile that harps on This CGI shit is shit, the old days of Practical make up - and some on well this is for you. Bodies being crushed, flattened (on of my fav moments) melted, peeled, all in glorious hand made effects.

Yes I think it can be safely said. This film has some of the best practical ever put to film. Even the miniature work is handled pretty well. On that topic Chuck Russell is a pretty capable director... Nightmare on Elm Street 3, The mask (wait what?). His talents really shine through here. Listen the limits of 80s technology are here... but the fact that they even attempted some of the scenes in this film is amazing. Watching a woman get crushed in a phone booth by eager pink jelly is grand.

Pepto? Any one for Pepto. 
Is it scary? Well. Listen to us hardened horror (yes you know who you are) no. Is anything scary? Not really. We watch horror for other reasons. Fun. Gore. Gore-y fun. Ever once and a while a film gets to us... but is a 1988 film about space gunk eating people going to be that flick? No. Does that matter, of course not. This is pure smile and appreciate here folks.

The script is pretty decent considering. Even has a couple of twists (and deaths) you might not see coming. Sadly the only Blu-ray release was an extremely limited run care of Twilight Time, and I have to wonder in this current age of horror films getting uber releases... where the heck is the Blob's moment?

You can't see it right now, but I am shaking my fist in the air. Oh it is being shook! Boonsweet demands it!

Like all things classic and old school it is not for everyone. Though the gore effects hold up. Buuuuut the green screen and such not so good. The acting is pretty good for a film of this genre... the genre being above par 80s genre fare.

If you haven't dipped a toe in the squshy depts of jello horror you really should... I mean you are reading this awesome article... on this here awesome website... so you must be relatively awesome at the least... and more than likely... amazingly awesome.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Horror movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

One line review: There's always room for J-E-L-L-O

Listen folks. If you read me, you know me. It's September, expect much horror over the next few months... but theres always a few non bloody flicks that work their way in during my horror focused 60 day count down!

KUNG FU PANDA 3 where are you!!!!