Sunday, December 30, 2007

What's the Rush?... I believe I Chan... Ha we'll go with that one

RUSH HOUR 3 (2007)

Chris Tucker is an annoying piece of shite (unless he just plays one... not sure). This is a fact, i don't think anyone would take the floor to defend him. However, some how he makes it work. Time and time again, from "Friday" to the "Fifth Element", and of course the two originators to the about to discussed film, "Rush Hour 1+2".

The recipe seems simple enough, have Chris Tucker yell crazy speak, have whoever is partnered with him on screen be cool headed, and do the work. And with Jackie Chan, he found a perfect yin to his yang. Now the first two movies were hardly Oscar bait, but they were fun. Just plain, smile for 2 hours, leave theatre feeling satisfied, fun. But in this, the third one, the streak comes to a cliche, kung fu knife tossin, end. It seems they spent so much time trying to get the contracts right, and the check books balanced, some one forgot you at least have to try... YOU AT LEAST HAVE TO TRY to write a damn film.

Plot: If you need it. Asians in trouble. Jackie and Chris most save day.

They still like us right Jackie, right?

So this is what you have... Brett Ratner does what he does, cool action scenes, big over the top fights and the like. And Jackie and Chris do what they do, problem is, my god, its like someone traced the blueprints of the previous two films, say for a Condo, and then built a sand castle. Analogy... works I think.

First, Chris Tucker is so over the top, you can't even pretend, with any stretch of the imagination that he could be capable of policing a urinal, let alone "The biggest criminal organization on the planet". In the first two films he somehow managed to come off, almost likable. By the end you had grown used to him, and he was a good guy after all. In this one, Just one retarded line after another. Including my favorite, Tucker is trying to talk the Captain into letting him back on the case, asking he forget the incident involving him detaining a group or Iranian scientists, because he thought, and still does, that they were terrorists.

I get how some people could enjoy it as pure comedy, but I mean, he's a cop. He has a badge, he is going to save the world...

Jackie Chan is good, as usual, but watching him let the villain go time and time again, through out the movie, because he has an "attachment" To him... spoiler, he's a street orphan who grew up with Chan... oh so that's why you let him go after he shoots one oh your oldest friends, who happens to be trying to bring down the bad guys... oh and that's why you can't kill him after he tried to slice you with a sword and kill the 18 year old daughter of your friend... ow, ow, ow, that would be the stupid bone in my left nut imploding.

And I'm sorry but at the end of this movie, the villain just pops up. I mean they leave the bad guys and the girl like half a mile away, and he just pops up... ta-da, finale time. 
I wanted to like this movie, I really did. And there are moments where you remember the original charm, and then much like the grasshopper, it gets crushed to smushy goo.
Jackie, you better rock my damn world with "The Forgotten Kingdom"... You, and Jet Li, I'm just saying, you got a hole you gotta dig yourself out of. The medallion, the tuxedo... Ow - ow - owwwwwwwwww.

Movie Scale 2 of 5 stars
action scale 2.5 of 5 stars

ONE LINE REVIEW - 1,2,3, strikes you're out at the ol' ball game. 

Be well, my peeps

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