Thursday, December 27, 2007

Bruce, Mr. Willis, Bruno... he that shagged Demi... (evs, he's the man)

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

Okay some ground rules here,

1. If you have not watched a die hard film before, stop whatever you are doing. Even if you are in the middle of a level three jungle love session with twins, of course if you can do that and surf the net... I do take a moment to congratulate you on your talents... but can you juggle hamsters? No, then eat face you arrogant f---.... Wow, that's some mad digression. Yes the "Die Hard" films of which there are three prior to this, are must watch material for any action fan, and you know probably a good time for any film lover.

2. Die Hard films are to the max, over the top villains, plots (with a slight exception to the first film), surviving body damage, whatever you can name, Die Hard will take it to the limit, just to entertain.

3. John McCain, our hero in this franchise, was obviously born with a high tolerance to injury, perhaps along the lines of the X-men's Wolverine. Though I do not mean to imply that he is a mutant. Okay, so If you have a problem with anything mentioned above, the following review is not for you... go jack your johnny to the Notebook... 

Moving on, so this is "Die Hard" #4, why they decided to change it to the annoying patriotic Live free or die hard, well, A none to obvious attempt to beg for more American attention. And yes you do get the obligatory flag shots, slow motion, wind, you know the type. But to be fair I knew it was coming, and considering the plot, i might even go so far as to say, I didn't mind it here.

So plot is, uber nerd terrorist, hires other less uber nerds to write a code that can end civilization as we know it. Why can't all knowing nerd write the code by himself who knows, its all good, and he has a hot Asian lady ninja sidekick. So bruce gets stuck in the middle between the bad guys and what they want, the last piece of evidence to their plot, a nerd that didn't know what he was doing (Justin Long). Bruce finds him, and the bad guys try every thing in the 'explosions R us' hand book to get him dead. And it is good old fashioned bullet effects awesomeness (again, is that a word, I said it before, if it feels good off the tongue, why the hell not, I'm Boonsweet bitches).

Hey Bruce, I'm the Mac guy. You think this is Microsoft's doing?

Bruce Willis is the best at making you really feel for his character, he's tough as nails, but sometimes hates what he has to do, but as he says "there's no one else". The action scenes are over the top, and delightfully so, i mean there are points your jaw is just hanging. I think my friend said it best, "I swear Chuck, there are two people that could survive this shit, John McCain, and Jesus". But I ask you would Jesus blow up a helicopter with a cop car? The answer is no.

The supporting cast holds their own. Justin Long as the side kick is awesome, and the perfect mix for Bruce. Bruce's daughter, hot, and much fun. And Good old Timothy Olyphant, as the villain, well needless to say he puts his heart into it.

This is the action buffs dream. Amazing long action scenes, great fights, kool hero, good sidekick, hot chicks, and so many Boom-Booms, i had to check my pants....
Pay attention for the "Warlock"(Kevin Smith), an awesome cameo, and if you count the same guy's cameo in animated form in "Superman vs. Doomsday" well he's getting around...

Movie scale: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action Movie scale: 4.5 out of 5 stars

ONE LINE REVIEW - Explosions are cool, this movie is cool. 

Live free bitches, 


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