Monday, July 14, 2014

Cause I'm hungry like... the... wolf-ape-man thing

ANIMAL (2014)

I'm on a horror kick. Because well, halloween is only 4 months away don't-cha-know. Ok. I jumped the gun a little. Just been on a horror kick lately. These things happen. And well, I don't get on a horror kick as often as I used to... and you know why? Of course you do, because as a horror fan I know I have to wade through so much crap to find me a nugget of horror gold... that... well... it just hurts to much...


Ah who am I kidding. I'm a horror film. AKA a sucker for punishment. So Animal a flick about a monster terrorizing campers... show me what you got.

PLOT: Friends go to woods. Monster attacks and eats people.

Do you need more? Not really. I mean there's a few tidbits... holding up in a cabin with other survivors. Your usual pretty kids, distrustful survivor that has given up hope in the wake of watching his woman get eaten. Ya. You don't need anymore, so let's just jump right in it.

Sometimes. You just need to be held. 
Hey, well, I wasn't bored! What do you know. I can not fault this flick for going full tilt boogie right off the hop. Bloody chunks are flying, bodies are hitting the foliage... all around great start. Now sadly we do run into script issues for instance this conversation takes place. After the girl makes a rather intelligent point as to the motivations of the creature... her man/boy responds with... and this is word for word...

"You can't keep doing this. You're overthinking. It's just an animal. That's it. And what's happening in here - to us. Is happening because it just is. To figure out why that it's happening, it doesn't help us"

Take a moment. Really drink those lines up. So the creature you just got a clear look at. That clearly is unlike any other animal you, dear boyfriend character, could have ever seen in real life or select HD TV programming. I mean. Who cares. It's just an animal. No point in thinking about it.

hahahahaha. Oh geez. Did I mention that same character asks "What's it doing?" in reference to the Animal about ten seconds later.

One quick note before I move on from the writing. Okay. Two. First the scene with the cell phone working (albeit briefly) was a nice touch. And the fact that they supposedly get a message out. Kind of cool really. Seriously whens the last time a cell worked in the woods in a horror flick? Now another negative... this "Animal" is quite a bitch. I mean. it seems all super powerful and fast and oh but whats that thing... it's one weakness that it can't defeat... a broke down thin walled cabin. I mean it could just come through and eat them whenever... but then I guess we wouldn't have a movie. Let's move on, ok. I just had to say it. But there is a lotta good here.

The monster looks very cool. All practical. The script when it's on is fast moving and fun. The actors are all very invested in it, and a way above most indie flicks. Elizabeth Gillies of well, probs 90% of the shows your under 13 demographic watches... Jeremy Sumpter of Friday Night Lights and Peter freaking Pan... Paul Ianco the infamous Mr. RJ Berger himself... a few other faces in the mix too with some cred. They all give their A game here, but sometimes the lines are so cheesy... and crossed with how straight its played I almost felt like I was watching a comedy... then 30 seconds later... no Pretty sure it's a straight horror... then 30 secs... ah whatever I just rolled with it.

And once you just roll... its a pretty fun time. Some good suspense. Even got a jump outta ol' Chuck Boonsweet here... one, and it was legit... so.. I'm man enough to admit it.

Man, really gotta say, the performances really stand out here. How often can you say the acting holds an B-horror film together. The creature sound effects, and the sound in general are very well handled. The directing too... Brett Simmons isn't new to the genre and he knows how to film carnage let me tell ya. This film had a few interesting backers... like Drew Barrymore for example (whaaaaaaat) but the direction still gave the film a polished look well beyond the still small budget...

I think really the only thing missing was a solid party in the woods scene to start. Bring a little sexy to the proceedings... but hey. Fun fun flick. Gore galore. Some decent scares. I can't really bring down too much thunder especially in the wake of the horrid horror descending on us fine blood loving folk as of late.

If you are looking for a modern, full practical, creature feature. That moves among fast, and drops more than a few bodies... this is for you.

Movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Horror movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

Well alright. Here's hoping this starts a solid trend with the upcoming horror season...

Boonsweet is out this forest yo. Reminding you all, messing with nature creates murdering creatures... #GreenPeace. :)

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