Sunday, October 6, 2013

More Bite for your buck


Really, how high could my expectations be for this movie? The answer booniacs is somewhere to the south of zero.

The Original Fright Night was a hit, and has grown into a tremendous cult classic, but I mean, despite the 80s cool that was Fright Night 2 I don't think anyone is calling it a masterpiece. Though when you consider both the out of print Blurays are running for 300-400$ a piece, well, shows you there are legit fans out there.

So then I catch wind of a FRIGHT NIGHT 2 happening, and well, I wouldn't call it interested. I mean I actually really dug the remake in 2011 with Colin (still mostly got it) Farrell as the lead fangy bastard. It was fresh, fun, and if you caught it in 3D, one of the more impressive excuses to break out the specs. But a sequel? DTV? With non of the original cast? Ah well, what the hell, it's halloween month, and I mean I have already suffered through Knight of the Dead, and Among Friends... sky's the limit right? I mean, better has to happen right?

And da beat goes - Boy and His bestie are part of a class trip to Romania to learn history and stuff, Boy, Charlie, is all heartbroken because he made out with some trick and the love of his life is all pissed at him now. He notices two chicks making out across from his hotel room one night, and then notices blood. The next day, his guest history teacher shows up, and oh dear, and the neck biting Lesbian... (Dun, Dun, Dun). So he begins investigating her. Then recruits his best friend to help him, and he decides it would be a great idea to locate and have his fav paranormal investigator - Peter Vincent, help. They somehow track him down, and Vampire Teacher Bitch decides to start offing a bunch of people... and Charlie's lover/ex lover maybe be connected to her age old quest for super vampire powers.

Innnnoooocent. (Any one get that? Ghost Rider joke... no? Balls)

Ok... deep breath. So this ain't a sequel...
I was surprised. Now, in fairness that could be because I was expecting a CRAP segment candidate here... Small director. Smaller actors (with the exception of Jaime Murray from an almost decent many deaths of ian stone and Dexter season 2), and a writer I have never heard of. Yet, somehow it manages to get a few things right... things I constantly bitch about as a horror fan...

First it knows the audience. They want cheese, and fun, and blood, gore, and sexy ladies. This film delivers on all accounts. The cheese may be a little much at times (the best friends tries to be super cool, and well, is mostly just annoying), but the blood and gore are pretty damn good. And most of it... PRACTICAL! That's right you damn psychos, real gore! Then drop in a whole bunch of pretty ladies... and you are starting to have a decent little bit of horror entertainment here. I mean it really was a joy to see someone bite into a neck and not see CGI blood pop up. Good old fashioned spraying blood... Yes.

I will credit the director with that. He manages some really cool effects... one that took me a moment to process was the Vampire using bat sonar to bounce sound of the walls and find her targets. Hows that for some vampireness. Sparkle sparkle Whaaaaaaat. The pool of blood, and how they roll in the water while she bites her victim... I mean that is just cool. The camera shot of the body draining blood... this man has a fine touch, and I think with a few smaller films here and there, who knows... with a budget... he could be pretty damn deadly.

Here's another thing this movie has going for it... JAMIE MURRAY! I won't say I am her biggest fan. But here, she chews scenery as a villain. And having just watched a female lead villain fail on every level (in Among Friends) it was nice to see someone attractive come across as genuinely creepy... and every bit the evil bitch. And the actors really do hold their own here. Well, okay, just the two leads... but since they are the focus of almost every scene... thats really all you need.

Help! My floaties broke! My flooooooaties broke!
The ending is a mix. First awesome, cool, fun, then nearly completely ruined by a line straight out of B movie shit. You remember the "Welcome to my nightmare bitch" line from freddy vs Jason and how you shook your head at that... ya. It's kinda like that... only way, way, worse. Mean I was suppose to laugh, but after the intensity of the ending... it really felt like getting slapped with salad while enjoying a steak.

But den, we shift back to a true full makeup throwback to the wait for it... I'm gunna say it... dammit it I'm gunna say it... the Glory days of B vamp cinema. Be warned though... while you are smiling at that, they will once again slap you with salad.

Overall, hey, a pretty solid romp through B-movie Horror.
If you are a huge fan of the original, you might find a few things to like in here... I can't guarantee you'll be a fan. Plus Peter Vincent is just pointless in this... but if you approach it without too many expectations, you just might have fun. At least for the most part.

A few things to bother your thinking parts: Cell phones are clearly used for flashlights and to be all modern, but then, um... why are they not taking pictures of shit. Or here's an idea... lost in a tunnel, what is that an iPhone? Map app yo. O. Oooooooo and one of my uber peeves about cheaper vamp flicks, fangs that are so big the actor can't help but slur his lines... The friend trying to be all bad guy with spit flying out from between his plastic fangs is a lil' ruff ... lil' ruff... haha come on people.

The bad is bad folks... but there is good here. Gore. Boobs. Some cool directing and decent acting. Could do worse if you're looking for some new horror this season... Really, they probably could have done without attaching the Fright Night name... but then that's been used in DTV horror for decades. Name recognition... who knows maybe if it was called Vampire Hoe with a castle I may not have bothered. Actually, balls, I totally would have.
Also, quick shout out to the wicked cool animated sequence. Nicely setup and drenched in the red stuff...

Movie scale 2.5 out 5 stars
Horror scale 2.5 out of 5 stars.

And the blonde Sacha Parkinson... Super cute. Just making observations and saving lives here....
Alright, finally, at least a marginal bright spot to the horror watching season.

So innocent goody goody? I'm saying Type cast :)
I'm off to sleeps, and what I hope will be naked pool chick wrestling dreams. Neck deep yo! (Ahhhhh fang jokes. Never get old)

-CBB @Tallwhitefox

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