Friday, March 29, 2013

'Joe Moma


I think every man between the ages of say 25-40 has played with a GI Joe toy at some point. From the parachuting accessories, to the missile launching motorbikes, there was just something man/boy-awesome about the whole thing. So after the success Hasbro (toy giant) had bringing transformers to the big screen (love it or hate it they made mad Cash yo!) they turned to GI Joe in 2009's Rise of Cobra. Now I went into that film with low expectations. I mean it's a film based on super soldiers with crazy weaponry, I wasn't exactly expecting art... yet still, it let me, and I think a lot of fans down. It was just silly. Too silly. Ya the gadgets were there, the explosions, the sprinkle of sexy, but it was just a mess really... despite the efforts (or lack thereof in some cases of the cast). Still, I didn't hate it.

So here we are round two. The company realized a few things... one a little more serious is never a bad thing. And two, Bruce Willis, and the Rock... together... is never a bad idea. Ok, so this film actually picks up roughly from where we left off last time with Zartan (master of disguise) having taken the place of the president. He sends the Joes on a mission to retrieve nukes, then has them assassinated. Poor Channing Tatum (as Duke) didn't even have time to bust one move. The rock and the two other survivors - Flint, and Lady Jaye (played by the ridiculously attractive - Adrianne Palicki), head off to find out who messed them up, and mess them up. At the same time, storm shadow and friends bust out Cobra commander.

This is the Joe movie you have been waiting for. If, you know, you've been waiting for such things. If you haven't well, its an awesome action flick. The writing is surprisingly enjoyable, although there are moments of utter stupid (it is still a film based on a toy line, remember), still, there are some real jokes in here. The cheap shots at North Korea during the beginning of what could be world war 3 are hilarious. The Rock/Channing banter is good, very good. To the point that I wish it had continued through the movie. The super ninja snake eyes action is good. Always fun to watch a grown ass man in ninja armour bust out machine guns to defend against ninja stars. Boooooya.

Seriously, last chance... where the F is my cupcake?
The directing is a great time. I'm not exactly sure how Jon M. Chu got the gig, but it appears to have been an inspired choice. He keeps the focus at an enjoyable, let the eyes catch all the action, perspective. Very appreciated. And the ninja mountain showdown (that was apparently inspired while playing with the toys on his couch, lol) was a glorious eyegasm in 3D, as was a lot of the movie really. It would seem the post production 3D is coming along rather nicely.

One very nice touch was the sexy side of the movie with Miss Palicki. Lets face it this is an old time action flick, doesn't matter the budget, right from the start that's what they were going for, and you gotta have a lil sexy in one of these things, and boy howdy does that girl deliver. I don't think I have ever been more impressed by a lady working a red dress on screen. 


Moving on, Bruce Willis, is great as usual. The Rza shows up as an old ninja master... Ya. That happened. Jonathan Pryce as Zartan being the president has a blast in the role this time around. He also has a few horrid lines, like cringe in your seat bad... but the nuclear war round table scene was so damned awesome, I forgave any other misstep. 

This is a great time for you action folks. All the cool toys and gadgets, are just that - cool. Not stupid or so over the top you just shake your head (the device to see a deadman's thoughts in the first movie - whaaaaa?). The Rock holds it down... and again, never thought I'd say this but I needed a little more Rock/Channing time, they were great together.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Action Movie scale 3.5 of 5 stars

Grab your 3D specs, your nacho tray, and get your man violence fix!

- Chuck Boonsweet is out... to his Moms, to find his long forgotten box of Joe-Bilia.

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