Saturday, July 7, 2012

Howling at the dead


I like zombies. A lot of people do. However, seeing as how zombie movies are easily one of the cheapest genres to produce, with a profit expected. As such, fans of the genre are often forced to wade through endless... and ol' Boony here does mean endless... amounts of zombie related crap. Kaka. Poo poo. Dookie... hoping every once and a while to stumble across a gem in the rough. Or you know... however that saying goes.

Is EXIT HUMANITY that movie? A gem in the rough. Ah, its gemish, but sadly... it ends up somewhere in the middle between poo and sparkle.

So, plot. Zombies have arrived during the civil war. Civil war soldier returns home to happy life with wife and kid. They get killed. He decided to take his sons ashes to a sentimental place, along the way he makes reluctant friends, finds a reason to go on, and battles evil soldier hell bent on ruling the world by finding a cure for the epidemic.

Alright. So the good. The acting is actually pretty decent, for the most part. The production is actually quite impressive. One of those low budget movies where you will be thinking, wow, impressive camera work for the money they had. Well, you might be thinking that if your a vidiot (trademarked yo!) like me. If not you might just be chomping your popcorn and not noticing cheapness. Which is proof of my statement. So to the heart of the matter, the zombie violence/action/makeup... all good folks. Tons of bloodshed and zombie mayhem. And yes, to the classic lovers, it does hold up to standards of old... slow zombies. Another cool addition was the animation sequences, they randomly pop up, and honestly are kinda cool, and I'm sure a nice way for the production to save a few bucks on camera work and real time bloodshed. Also, interesting twist in the zombie movies of late, it does actually explain how the outbreak happen. Kinda liked it.

And the bad. First, I have to mention the screaming. It may be the funniest thing you have seen in a long time. In fact I was tempted to call this review... Howling at the dead. No, you know what I'm changing it to that right now... annnnnd done. Seriously, with all the decent acting and writing, the main character has a tendency to just scream... a lot. Finds son dead, drinks, screams for several minutes while flipping furniture. Then goes on to kill zombies... screams at all of them. And it goes on. Even a climatic scream at the end used as a plot device. Lol. I mean. W.T.F. I guess I can see how it was suppose to be a emotional thing, show you his frustration all that but... My god its funny. Okay next, and this, this is a big one. This film starts with a narration saying that the present world is in the midst of a zombie attack and a journal (the writings of the main start in long ago time) found is helping them combat the dead. What? They never go back to this. Never show you the present. They just open with that and then you're in the civil war. Ab-SO-F'n-lutely no reason to have that in there. At all. Made boony scratch his head. You indie filmmakers you. Next. The boring parts. After chaos of the first 45 minutes it just settles into really... nothing. Just narrating over scene after scene (did I mention this movie is two hours long. Why? No freaking idea. It really does drag on. And on. Lastly. Can anyone explain to me why Brian Cox is narrating this movie? Who the hell is he? Where is he? Is he the main character... no because they sound nothing alike. Is he reading the journal to small children in the future... no idea because its never explained.

Guy - Hey you're Brian Cox right? Wanna narrate a movie?
Brian Cox - Um, sure what's my role?
Guy - Um, you don't have one. You're just gonna um, you know narrate.
Brian - and I get paid.
Guy - Yes, and top billing.
Brian - you sir have a deal.

But it does finish strong... and I mean according to most women that's the important part... right? I don't know I read that somewhere. Or maybe on Oprah. Wait, scratch that. Boonsweet would never watch Oprah... but sometimes... I mean...



Movie scale 2 out 5 stars
Zombie movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

I think there is enough here for the zombie fans out there to enjoy. But no so much for the casual movie viewer. But for us dead-heads. There really isn't much out there worth a second watch, so it makes the list.


Chuck B is off to write a journal to save the future world.

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