Monday, July 23, 2012

Boobs, blood, and Jesus.

GIRLS GONE DEAD (2012)



Horror is a genre divided. As maintained by the success of amazingly made, terrifying entries, as it is by the cheesy, low budget, over gored and man-crowd pleasing portions of the genre. I will give you two guesses as to which category this one falls under.

The story is a super goody goody (played by a ridiculously attractive Katie Peterson - think Tara Reid in the original American pie). Her mom is a person suffering from Hyper-religiosity. Hyper-religiosity an actual condition diagnosed, means religious addiction. That's right Boony is expanding his word bank folks, look out. Any way Katie P's "Rebecca" character is off for a weekend of less that religious approved fun with her crazy friends.

Okay, so I'm going to stop here and explain a few things before I go further. There is a whole side story involving a Girls gone wild company called Girls gone Crazy. Is this just an excuse to showcase a ton of random boobs, and later violence - Yes. Am I okay with this - yes. Did it make me laugh - Yes. There are a ton of semi-celebrity cameos, and more thans, in here. Ron Jeremy (although he looks like he is half dead through most of his scenes), the tiny black creature that is Beetlejuice, and my favorite Jerry "The King" Lawler.

Back to plot... if I really need to explain lol. So the girls head out to a house entrusted to them by the one girls dad. They meet sum guys, lots of partying happens, good girl tries not to give in to her urges. Boobs. Boobs. Some blood. More boobs. A killer is slaughtering the naughty - Way more blood. And that is your movie.

Ah, that is disgusting. I'll just close my eyes count to 10 and maybe she'll put her clothes back on. 


Anyone reading my reviews might remember I have a simple rule. You can have a smart-smart movie, or a dumb- dumb movie. You can't combine the two. Meaning, you can either be an intelligent movie and maintain that throughout, or you can be a dumb movie and maintain that throughout. This is a film that knows it's silly, and loves it. One of my favorite scenes is when one of the girls getting wasted, ends up putting on her booze goggles on and seducing a rather "large" man. Then things get violent while she's um, adjusting his mic. It's the in your face cheese, with rather intense violence, that just made this a really fun ride for me. This is not a film that will make you jump, but if you are some one that watches the cheese that came out during the VHS boom, and calls it slasher gold, well this is for you.

I really dug the sense of humor in this flick. And for a cheap, B&B (blood and Boob) fest, the acting was not horrible. Though to be fare I may have missed some lines during repeated de-clothing. The last scene after the credits was a great time, perfectly summed up the "lets just have fun with this folks" tone. The religious angle was pretty damn entertaining too. When the mom buys the daughter a Jesus candle so he's "never far from you", when she leaves. Haha... its the little things.

Movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Horror B-movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars.

I have made it clear. If you want legit horror, do not watch this. If you want to have a great blood soaked, giggle filled time, enjoi !

- Boonsweet saying the horror watching has been way too much fun lately :)

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Oh my fond memories of High School hijinx

DETENTION (2012)



I had to wait to write this review, because I was without words. That is right. Charles "Webster's weaponizing" Boonsweet, was at a loss. Now some of you might be thinking... Damn, it messed Boony up? I have to see this flick. Maybe. I'm really not sure. But here goes.

So DETENTION sells itself as a horror, horror/comedy, type film. As such, that is what I sat down to watch. 30 seconds into this film, I was laughing, enjoying, and trying to process what I was watching. This folks, is a grade A, twisted narrative, completely warped, 90s loving, cult status written all over it adventure.

Plot is as such, slasher starts killing high school peeps, dressed like a popular movie character "Cinderella". That is your basic plot. Now let me tell you a few of the things you will see along the way:

1. A ton of social media thrashing talking to camera
2. A school mascot that may, or may not be a former time traveling bear.
3. A student that may actually have part fly DNA
4. Aliens
5. Possibly the coolest dog attack scene I have ever witnessed.
6. A Canadian.

And the list goes on. As the film continued I have to say I began to severely enjoy the craziness. But this folks, is not a horror flick. It's a black comedy with a few horror elements (including some insane violence). I have grown up on a few fantastic black comedies, "Heathers" being a primary film that came up to me during this film. This is a film that gleefully crossing any line of reality. Including these awesome flashback sequences detailing character back story my fav... the sad and tragic tale of the Time traveling bear. They still try to tie it together with the slasher tale, but really it almost becomes secondary to the chaos. They do achieve one small triumph, something that many would be black violent comedies more often than not fail at: They made you care about the characters. A prime example, a rather awesome, and real romantic moment between two teenagers taking a cruise through the streets on a long board. Those moments are spread throughout. Unexpectedly good. Though not so much as finding out one of them is part Fly... and his um, "love juice" glows.

Really? That's how Kim Kardashian got famous...


If you enjoyed films like "Heathers", "To die for", "Idle Hands", "Southland Tales", even maybe "Bubba Ho-Tep", and the like... well you, like me I will expect, shall enjoy the kaka outta this crazy flick. However if twisted cult status flicks often fail to harder your Fly parts, well, this probably will not be the one to change your mind. :)

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Cult status (crazy as %$#! WTF) flick 3.5 out of 5 stars.

-Charles B. Boonsweet saying if you want more check out my crazy flashback sequence.... Now....


Thursday, July 19, 2012

The brave little Ginger

BRAVE (2012)

Pixar has long had a habit of blowing my mind. As well as many others. Managing to paint the line between entertaining the child, while still bringing forth the giggle in us adults (heck sometimes even a tear). They have set the bar for family entertainment on many occasions; "UP", "TOY STORY", "FINDING NEMO" and one of the greats "WALL-E". Often they even find a way to weave in crazy deep messages about loss, abandonment, hope, and the problems with this here human race. And they do it all with CGI pixels on a silver screen.
However. That being said.
They have gave in to the need for financial dominance in some regards, selling out to cash in on established franchises: Exhibit A - Cars 2. Exhibit B - the upcoming and horrible looking, MONSTER UNIVERSITY (even though in the trailer, one of the main characters clearly calls it college, oh boi). Still, I have learned never to underestimate them. And in an age where CGI films are the standard, and drop every month it seems, they still stand out head and shoulders above the rest.
(excluding of course - KUNG FU PANDA)

The story is so. Ancient Scotland. A young princess grows up only wanting to be anything but a princess. Her and her mother quarrel about it constantly. Her dad is more than happy to stay away from the middle of it. On the day that her hand is to be won by the first born princes of the land, she decided she has had enough. And things get rather complicated for our red haired heroine. And there's magic stuff too. That glows and makes weird sounds.... Ya. Complicated.

Really that is all you need, and I don't want to give you anymore, for one simple reason... you will not see this film coming. I watched multiple trailers, and thought I had this figured out. Oh princess rebels, learns valuable lessons about life along the path to being brave in some sort of life/death family in peril situation. Okay. So maybe I had the basics right, but leave it to Pixar to throw me for a loop with a ton of things they cleverly kept out of the previews. About 45 min into this flick I literally looked to my theatre companion, and said "Well, did not expect that".

Moving on to the look of the film. Beautiful. That is it, in a word. Gorgeous. I found myself just intrigued by the little things. The way the main characters hair dances in the wind, individual strands visible. The way the horse moves, and breaths. Every aspect of this film is a feast for the eyes. Yup. My pupils were Pixel drunk. The plot as I already mentioned does go way off the map here, but somehow finds its way back to really investing you in the story.

And dammit if I wasn't a little tight in the chest at the end (I feel like I should use some sort of bear pun here... hmmm... I could BEAR it though) haha trust me when you watch the flick that joke will kill.

Bottom line. Another hit for the hit machine. However, despite the laughs, and the heart, still not in Pixar's top five for me. Nope. But definitely a good film. One you and the family will love. And Moms, honestly, maybe even an extra recommendation from Ol' Boony here. See it with ya daughters.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars.
Animated movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars.

I saw more than a few tears in the audience at the end of this one folks, so be warned :)

- Chuck B. Boonsweet

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Century of awesome (kinda) BnB #100

Charles B. Boonsweet

So here we are.
A long freaking way from the start...
You know, with all these damn punks makin flicks, and all kinds of planetary citizens devouring the medium... well I have a feeling we gunna be here a while.
Still, 100, is something special dang it.
Its been quite the run, from Ol' Boonsweet here stumblin through the early days of mixing entertainment and substance... and awesome... to finally being joined by K.K. Bucklesworth, an event that I think finally added the variety, and perspective such ventures need.
Now, with "TRAILER TRASH", and the upcoming "CHILLER CLASSICS", we are expanding our original programming, and I am pumped.

So all this in mind here we are, 100th blog. Myself, and my esteemed colleague, wanted to do something special for all you Booniacs.... all you Buckleheads... we decided why not dig into the dark recesses of our past to pull forth our favorite films. No ties, no top tens, the all time number ones, and maybe inspire a few of you to check them out... or, heck, you might just bask in the glow of a couple films you already know, and love... far too much :) We are also gunna for the first time, throw in our own comments, crosscontaminatedreviews you say? Yup. Take the gloves off kiddies...

The Crow (1994)

The story goes. Detroit: Two crazy kids in love, Eric and Shelly are in love. On the eve of their wedding (Devil's night, yes romance blooms) they are jumped by thugs, Shelly is brutalized, and Eric tossed from his multistory apartment. The both die. A year later a spirit guide, The crow, guides Eric back from the dead to exact revenge on those responsible. Granted powers, and all but invincible, to follow through on his purpose.

Sound simple? It's not. There are simply layers of awesome here, that only loving a movie enough to watch it 121  (possibly 221) times can reveal.

I saw this film in the middle of my teenage angst. Everything about the film lured me in deeper. From the strangely hypnotic cover, to the fact that it was Bruce Lee's son in the film. Then the music, song after song blasting perfect tone behind each scene. The cure, Nine inch nails, even a haunting rooftop solo by our hero. Did I mention he was also a musician? As he takes out all those responsible, the script really starts to have fun with itself. Great lines, a very dark villain (played with a calm glee by Michael Wincott), some heart and humanity by way of tired beat cop, Ernie "You move, you're dead" Hudson, action, and Skank. Dear. Lovable. Douchebag. Skank.

I won't bore you with every little detail of this film. This is how I will say it. This is one of those rare moments where fates simply aligned. Myth. Talent. And a truly great tale. You have James O'Barr, who , though he revisited his comic creation often, he never again hit the story right as with Eric Draven, and hence, never the success. You have a young Alex Proyas (a director who would later cement his ability to create atmosphere with the criminally overlooked "DARK CITY"), breathing life into the gloomy graphic tone of real world Detroit. Then, to finish it. You have Brandon Lee, a young movie star to be, stepping out, and taking a chance on a role he will forever be remembered for, and dying while making it. In fact, on set, an accident that would mess up the director so much, that he did not step back behind the camera until 1998's aforementioned Dark city.
Would this film have the following? The cult status today if the death of it's star was not attached to it? I would like to think so. Really, though, a man playing a man brought back from death, dying during the filming... Knowing this while watching it, it affects you. Still does, after all these years. There is a scene in the movie where the director pauses, the colors shift to black and white - just Brandon's smile, while children, dressed for halloween pass by. It is a moment, that catches your heart in your throat.

Dark, twisted, cool, and death, made all too real, this is a film that should not be missed. By fans of today, yesterday, or whatever the heck the other is...

Movie scale 4.5 out 5 stars
Cult movie scale 5 out of 5 stars.

"Victims aren't we all"

The After-Thought by Kendrick K. Bucklesworth

C. Boonsweet speaks nothing but the truth in this review.  The Crow is also one of my all-time favorite films.  And really, how could it not be?  This is one of those rare flicks where I can say there is nothing I didn't like about it.  The best portrayal of the Crow is still Brandon Lee in my opinion (and may never be topped).  The soundtrack fits the movie like a tailor made suit.  The visuals are just outstanding.  And the action hits at just the right time, and isn't overdone.  Though considering the son of Bruce Lee plays the Crow, there's very little, if any, martial arts.  But it's not detrimental in this case.
A little trivia for you: I dressed up as the Crow for two Halloweens straight after I watched this movie.  At the time, I had the long hair to match the look, and even got second place in a costume contest.  The Crow has certainly impacted a lot of people, and as long as people like myself and Charles B. are around to inform the masses, it will continue to leave an impression. 

Kendrick K. Bucklesworth

100 posts.  Where has the time gone?  While I haven't posted as many reviews as Charles B., this is still quite the occasion.  Adding a touch of class to this blog has been quite a privilege, and how does that song go?  Oh yeah, "we've only just begun".  So the question is, what will yours truly review for this milestone entry?  Which movie has captured my heart as no other has been quite able to?  Well, none other than....

The Evil Dead (1981)

That's right people.  The movie that began the legendary Bruce Campbell's career.  One of the very first horror flicks I've ever watched.  The flick I've watched so many times I have to replace my dvd at some point because of it's excessive use.  If I didn't watch ED at so young an age (10 years old If I recall correctly), I'm not sure how different my taste in movies would be.  Without further ado, let's get this train rolling.

I don't know if explaining the plot is even necessary, unless some of you are just emerging from a cave somewhere for the first time.  In case you are, the story is quite simple.  Five friends decided to take a vacation to a cabin in the woods.  After they get settled in and sit around a table, the door to the cabin's cellar slams open by itself, startling them.  2 of the friends go into the cellar to investigate, eventually discovering the Book of the Dead, as well as an old tape recorder.  Naturally, they decide to bring the items upstairs with them.  Unfortunately, the previous owner of the recorder translated and repeated the incantation to awaken the evil in the woods. And after playing the audio, the hijinks ensue.  One by one, the campers become possessed by demons.  Until only one remains, and you can probably guess who that is.

Does this movie have the best acting?  No.  Is this the most technically sound movie?  Again, no.  But this was made by a few kids out of college just trying to make a movie.  There was no big budget, there was no wealth of cast/crew experience.  But to me that just added to the charm of the whole thing.  Other flicks in my top 10 favorites (which I will post here soon, I promise) have much more going for them, but they also had more money to work with.

Another reason I enjoy ED is because of it being straight horror.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I also love ED 2 and Army of Darkness.  But I'm more of a fan of a pure horror experience.  And as the tag line for ED goes, it's "The Ultimate Experience in Grueling Terror".  Also, I'm not a big fan of a movie starting out as horror, and then its sequel going the comedy route (Return of the Living Dead 2 is another example of this).

"Hey Kendrick, what do you think about this Evil Dead remake?".  Well, I'm glad you asked.  I'm hesitant to be excited about it, as nobody can replace Bruce Campbell in his role as Ash.  Also, I understand that the main protagonist is going to be a woman.  Look, please don't read this the wrong way.  But horror movies have a looong history of women being the ones who stop the protagonists (Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm St. being prime examples of this), and it's getting kind of old news.  I thought the point was made long ago that women are equal to men.  Can't we have a male hero in horror a little more frequently from here on in?  Either way, expect the ED remake's trailer on here down the road.

Well, there you have it.  My favorite movie pick for the 100th posting on Boonsweet and Bucklesworth.  Those few who haven't seen it MUST watch it, at least before the remake comes out.  And for you fans of the B&B blog,  hmm, how does that other song go?  Ah, yes.  "You ain't seen nothing yet".

Movie scale: 4 out of 5 stars
Cheesy-horror gold scale: 5 out of 5 stars

"Why are you torturing me like this.  WHY??"

The After thought by Chuck Boonsweet - As promised. Cross contamination :)
I have to say I agree with everything that is this review. The fact that this film was made with nothing, by nobodies, and slowly but surely grew to dominate the globe. You think I jest? Never about the Evil Dead folks. Never. Two of the highest selling DVDs - version of Evil Dead. Top five best selling blurays - You got it, again Evil Dead. Even the all forgotten Laserdisc (if you are tilting your head by way of WTF is a laserdisc, totally acceptable) number 2 all time behind ... Titanic. This is a film that has inspired merchandise the likes of which perhaps only the Saturday morning heroes of old could match. Two sequels. Multiple touring plays... but most importantly it inspired movie fans to become movie makers. Myself included. And that, is perhaps the most important piece of the legacy that is the little bloody-as-hell-too-cool-for-words-backyardmichigan adventure.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

No zombie meerkats? Another missed opportunity....

THE DEAD (2010)

I have to admit to you, I have always loved the zombie sub-genre of horror.  But even I cannot deny that there is an over-saturation of zombies in the market, on the streets, wherever.  And the main problem I find is that a lot of the movies coming out involving the living dead just plain suck.  As with everything, there are definitely exceptions, but they're becoming few and far between.  So the question is, does The Dead qualify as one of those diamond-in-the-roughs?  Let's find out....

The story is simple enough: after Lt. Brian Murphy's plane crashes into the ocean, he manages to reach the African shoreline.  He decides to try and journey north, to a military base a few hundred miles north of his position.  He manages to find a truck and makes progress until getting himself stuck in mud.  While he tries to get back on the move, he meets  Sgt. Daniel Dembele.  Dembele decided to leave his post in the local military to find his missing son.  After a tense first meeting, they decided to travel together to achieve both of their goals.

So, let's start with the acting.  Overall, it was a pretty decent job done.  The bulk of the flick was Dembele and Murphy together, and I enjoyed the pairing quite a bit.  Their back-and-forths were believable, and when bad things happened, they worked very well as a team.

And the effects/zombies?  The effects, unless I missed something, were entirely practical, and was impressive looking.  A few kills were off screen, which I still prefer over doing it in CGI.  The zombies themselves weren't anything too special, but they did the job.  My biggest problem was with their movement.  With the exception of one zombie moving fast (which was funny, because that one exceptional zombie had no legs, and the film was clearly sped up when it got close to Murphy), they were the standard slow fare, even when they got close to their prey.  When it comes to zombies, my all-time favorites have to be from the original Dawn of the Dead.  Those zombies were slow in general, but when you got close to them, they came to life (no pun intended) and attacked with a ferocity that only an insatiable hunger could create.  That is my ideal zombie. 

Anyway, while the movie is not very fast-paced or terribly original, I ultimately did enjoy watching it.  When the zombies attacked, it did get pretty tense, and that's always a plus.  And as it took place in Africa, some of the scenery was very pleasant as well.  It would have been awesome if there were some indigenous wildlife to contend with, life lions, or rhinos.  Hell, even some rabid meerkats.  But it didn't detract form the movie really.  In the end, I recommend checking The Dead out.  Compared to some of the others out there, you'll probably enjoy this.

On a side note: do any of you remember the controversy with Resident Evil 5 about a white guy in Africa killing a ton of zombie-like black people?  As this movie is quite similar, I'm surprised that there wasn't any controversy here as well.  I guess adding an African partner makes it ok somehow?  I dunno.  The controversy with RE 5 was dumb anyway. 

Movie scale: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Zombie scale: 3.5 out of 5 stars

-Kenny B., all zombied out (until the next z-flick comes out)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

TRAILER TRASH #2

Well, your old pal Bucklesworth isn't content to just let 2 trailers be enough for you this month.  After all, why would Boonsweet and I let you miss potentially awesome flicks by not seeing the trailers?  I mean, if we don't show them to you, what guarantees are there that you'll see them on your own?  That said, here we go again...

V/H/S (Fall 2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNA9bV0DtDU

As a huge horror buff, and (as mentioned in a previous review) a "found footage" fan, this movie was naturally my first pic for Trailer Trash.  And I must say, it looks pretty damn creepy.  This is actually an anthology, which is pretty uncommon for the "found footage" sub-genre, and each story is created by a different director.  The positive being that with different stories and different directors, we're bound to like at least one of 'em, hahaha.

THE APPARITION (August 2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7pY71AvnlE

I know, I know.  Another horror flick Bucklesworth?  Yes, indeed.  That's how I roll ladies and gentlemen.  This one I happened to see the trailer for while seeing another movie in the cinema (Wrath of the Titans, if I recall correctly).  The story of a university parapsychology experiment gone wrong, a pair of students become tormented by spirits.  The interesting part is that the flick is apparently inspired by allegedly true events, so it certainly whetted my curiosity.  Check out the trailer and judge for yourself.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

TRAILER TRASH #1 (JULY 2012)

Okay Booniacs, and Buckleheads, it is time for a brand new segment callllllled... TRAILER TRASH. Here me, and my homeboi KKB, are gunna throw down and showcase some of the trailers that have us more than a lil' bit excited. Some you may have seen... others you may have missed and hopefully will get you pumped up! As we all know trailers these days can be lies. Horrible, shameless lies! So down the road when these flicks come out, we will of course throw down a review and see if it lived up.

Alright... here we go. Buckle in... turn down the lights... click that ipod to soft jams track 8 and lets see whats out there...

END OF WATCH (late 2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX2CO4YyREU

I do like me a good cop movie. I am a man. And I was once a boy, and so I have many times in my life ran around a hard firing a water gun determined to capture the bad guys. This looks like a lovely take on the genre, and some really cool peeps to boot. Jakey G has been one of my favs since DONNIE DARKO and Michael Pena has been getting around and doing all kinds of things. Can't say as I approve of all his choices... but this looks like a good one. The part that gets me is the set up call. Crazyness.

SINISTER (late 2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgYxydrVlDk

Ethan Hawke has been damn good at what he does. Racking up a long list of winners (GATTACA being a fav). So anything with him in it catches my attention. This does have the feel of INSIDIOUS from last year. A strange little film that made a bunch of dough. Not surprisingly from the same folks. But it is rated R and that is worth something. There are a couple of real creepy parts in this trailer. I think I'm in.

Aliens... those jive turkeys

MEN IN BLACK 3 (2012)

If you have not ever watched a Men in Black movie, you have probably never enjoyed science fiction, and also, possibly, never been a child. Hahaha... ok that may be a little much. The fact is however, the first two films over a decade old now, made hundreds of millions of dollars world wide. Toys, cartoon shows, video games, and a ton of other merchandise. So it took a while but you had to figure eventually they would be back. I, for one, was pumped. MIB is a definite part of my younger years, and a pair of movies that I view as nothing more than popcorn munching fun.
So, that was how I went into this film, and my popcorn munching needs where met folks... oh were they...

For those that don't know, the Men in Black police alien interactions, and goings on, on earth. Without the general public's knowledge. Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (still kickass Tommy Lee Jones) are the bestest of the bestest. Super bad guy breaks out of moon prison, and decides to travel back in time to destroy his nemesis, Agent K. Will Smith then comes to work, realizes Agent K has been wiped out and travels back in time to save K, and stop the present world from being overcome by an alien invasion.

Okay, this movie is in 3D, and as we all know, 3D is occasionally, if not more often, a let down. This is a film though that was structured for 3D and shot frame by frame in the third dimension. The 3D in this film was, I'm pretty sure, the first time I have ever been wowed by the technology. Yes the depth of AVATAR was impressive, and TRANSFORMERS 3 had its moments, but this is what I think about when I see 3D. Stuff flying at me. Crazy textures and effects. There was also one really cool seen that actually succeeded in giving folks in the theatre vertigo. The girl I went with actually had to look away. How cool is that. And will Smith's giant mug bending out the screen towards me... Yay Boi! That is what I go to see a 3D flick for.

The movie is textbook MIB. Funny, Will Smith going off constantly. Josh Brolin is a nice addiction as the younger K. Alice Eve is a sadly underused possibly love interest. Why put a woman that hot in a movie if you are not going to let a star fall for her? Strange. The whole concept of putting Will Smith back in the 60's, and having him deal with the racism of the time was handled with more than a little tongue in cheek humor. And happily was only used a few times. I really had no major problems with this film. It was what it should have been. FUN. No boring parts. No long explanations. Just guns and aliens and will smith running his mouth and cool flashes and booms.

:)

I had fun, and I think you all will too. Will it make you cry, or win awards? No. But really if you expect that from the third entry in a big budget sci-fi flick... well... you just whack.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Sci-fi scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Good to see Will Smith back to having a little fun.

- Charles Boonsweet saying keep your time jump watches handy!

Howling at the dead

EXIT HUMANITY (2011)

I like zombies. A lot of people do. However, seeing as how zombie movies are easily one of the cheapest genres to produce, with a profit expected. As such, fans of the genre are often forced to wade through endless... and ol' Boony here does mean endless... amounts of zombie related crap. Kaka. Poo poo. Dookie... hoping every once and a while to stumble across a gem in the rough. Or you know... however that saying goes.

Is EXIT HUMANITY that movie? A gem in the rough. Ah, its gemish, but sadly... it ends up somewhere in the middle between poo and sparkle.

So, plot. Zombies have arrived during the civil war. Civil war soldier returns home to happy life with wife and kid. They get killed. He decided to take his sons ashes to a sentimental place, along the way he makes reluctant friends, finds a reason to go on, and battles evil soldier hell bent on ruling the world by finding a cure for the epidemic.

Alright. So the good. The acting is actually pretty decent, for the most part. The production is actually quite impressive. One of those low budget movies where you will be thinking, wow, impressive camera work for the money they had. Well, you might be thinking that if your a vidiot (trademarked yo!) like me. If not you might just be chomping your popcorn and not noticing cheapness. Which is proof of my statement. So to the heart of the matter, the zombie violence/action/makeup... all good folks. Tons of bloodshed and zombie mayhem. And yes, to the classic lovers, it does hold up to standards of old... slow zombies. Another cool addition was the animation sequences, they randomly pop up, and honestly are kinda cool, and I'm sure a nice way for the production to save a few bucks on camera work and real time bloodshed. Also, interesting twist in the zombie movies of late, it does actually explain how the outbreak happen. Kinda liked it.

And the bad. First, I have to mention the screaming. It may be the funniest thing you have seen in a long time. In fact I was tempted to call this review... Howling at the dead. No, you know what I'm changing it to that right now... annnnnd done. Seriously, with all the decent acting and writing, the main character has a tendency to just scream... a lot. Finds son dead, drinks, screams for several minutes while flipping furniture. Then goes on to kill zombies... screams at all of them. And it goes on. Even a climatic scream at the end used as a plot device. Lol. I mean. W.T.F. I guess I can see how it was suppose to be a emotional thing, show you his frustration all that but... My god its funny. Okay next, and this, this is a big one. This film starts with a narration saying that the present world is in the midst of a zombie attack and a journal (the writings of the main start in long ago time) found is helping them combat the dead. What? They never go back to this. Never show you the present. They just open with that and then you're in the civil war. Ab-SO-F'n-lutely no reason to have that in there. At all. Made boony scratch his head. You indie filmmakers you. Next. The boring parts. After chaos of the first 45 minutes it just settles into really... nothing. Just narrating over scene after scene (did I mention this movie is two hours long. Why? No freaking idea. It really does drag on. And on. Lastly. Can anyone explain to me why Brian Cox is narrating this movie? Who the hell is he? Where is he? Is he the main character... no because they sound nothing alike. Is he reading the journal to small children in the future... no idea because its never explained.

Guy - Hey you're Brian Cox right? Wanna narrate a movie?
Brian Cox - Um, sure what's my role?
Guy - Um, you don't have one. You're just gonna um, you know narrate.
Brian - and I get paid.
Guy - Yes, and top billing.
Brian - you sir have a deal.

But it does finish strong... and I mean according to most women that's the important part... right? I don't know I read that somewhere. Or maybe on Oprah. Wait, scratch that. Boonsweet would never watch Oprah... but sometimes... I mean...

Ah.

Anyway.

Movie scale 2 out 5 stars
Zombie movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

I think there is enough here for the zombie fans out there to enjoy. But no so much for the casual movie viewer. But for us dead-heads. There really isn't much out there worth a second watch, so it makes the list.

:)

Chuck B is off to write a journal to save the future world.