Friday, February 29, 2008

White men can jump!

JUMPER (2008)

Hayden Christensen... Yes his acting can be a little suspect at times. If I have to listen to one more douche pull up the acting dismemberment that was "Episode 3" ... I slap them, straight out. George Lucas loves cheese... have you seen the original star wars flicks, come on, Mark freaking Hamill. I love the movies, but they were cheese since scene one. Warrior teddy bears!? But I digress. So please, I think he acts how he is asked to act. And in the right role, it works.
In Jumper, he finds such a role. 
So plot, random genetic gene type thing, gives Hayden the ability to teleport anywhere, anytime (yes just like you imagined outside the girls locker room you dirtee dirtee bastards). Instead of going all "with great power, comes great responsibility" on us, he does the legit thing and starts robbing banks. living large, and removed from his shit small town. Time passes, and Hayden finds out in that there are others like him, and that their is a group (fronted by Samuel L Jackson doing his best Sisco impression, thong song? Google it bitches) that believes in death to all Jumpers. After finding out this news Hayden decides to track down his school crush, seduce her, and take her all over the world. Hayden meets another Jumper, together they try to bring the fight to the "Paladins". 
So first, this is not a great film. It was never meant to be. The entire purpose of this flick is to allow the consumption of popcorn, the giddy feelings that come with awesome effects, and letting you leave the theatre satisfied. Its just fun. The sets are awesome, the effects fit, and watching some of the scenes, with them jumping all over the world fighting is just.... (insert monk like chant of pleasure). I have read somewhere, a few would be boony peers, meaning fellow critics, are saying this film moves to slowly or awkwardly. No way folks, at 1 hour 23 minutes the movie flies by. And I thought some of the writing was actually pretty clever. Including the first scene where he meets his former school crush in her bar, some cool exchanges there. Samuel, in the platinum buzz cut, is gleefully over the top. 
I like the fact the main character is kind of a prick, but you can't help but like him. I mean would you save the orphans, or live like a god? Feel ashamed, we all know what we'd choose. bitches and cheddar yo!
Its fun, its quick.... and guaranteed you can expect a sequel. Ha, reminds me of my last erotic message....

movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
sci fi/action scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

- Boonsweet

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