Thursday, December 6, 2012

NINJA movie of the month (Dec '12)


NMOTM returns!
It takes a lot to be considered a Ninja movie of the month...
Actually it just takes Ninjas. Well, I mean lots of ninjas, and ninja related action.
Q: "But Mr. Boonsweet what is Ninja related action?"
A: "Well dear Booniacs, it is anything including, though not limited to, the following items: Ninja Kicks, flying reverse roundhouses especially, ninja stars, ninja punches, regular throat punches, a sword held to the side with both hands gripping handle (sword of course should be a katana), grown men and/or grown women wearing proper ninja attire, grown men and/or grown women wearing pyjama suits with a sash in an effort to look ninja, at least one ninja vanish moment - consisting of a smoke bomb being dropped, and when the cloud dissipates the ninja is gone...

So I would like to get right into the plot of this 1987 gem. Oh ya, I think I just rubbed my hands together in my mind in evil, giddy glee....

Ninjas are attacking drug lords - gasp - oh no! Um, around that time a band made up of five friends has just hit the Miami scene, they are Dragon Sound and they all know Tae-kwon-do. So, um, then it seems they are so awesome that the bar decides to make them the house band. The old house band gets mad, they fight with Dragon Sound, and um with the bar owner in a very weird scene. After their defeat at the hands of DRAGON SOUND the former house band seeks help from a gang, who is working with the Evil Ninja. Oh ya and just to throw some icing on the cake, the girl singer in the band who is also hooking up with a member of the band is the sister of the evil gang leader.

Top 5 greatest moments.

1. A scene where the Asian member of Dragon Sound tells the gang leader he's not afraid of him, only it's not edited, or spoken right, or both, and then the cast just leaves like everything went according to script.
2. Some fantastic violence, often coming out of nowhere.
3. The surprise revelation that they are all orphans, and the one band member has a Father in the military that is turns out may be... alive... and a two minute monologue that follows... in very little clothing, while trying to cry.
4. I'm sorry I killed your brother - It's kool, I love you.
5. I mean this, a solid 15 minutes of ninja violence at the end.

Me so angry, I cut you... I kick you...

Y.K. Kim made this movie, and only this movie. Wrote, directed, choreographed, everything. He was a Tae-Kwon-do instructor and the majority of the actors in this film were his students. I tried for a while to find out how old he was and well gave up. By a while I mean 30 seconds. Needless to say he is waaaaaaay older than his "friends" in the band. He raised the money for this film... um... apparently 1 million dollars... whaaaaaaat?! When the film was released it bombed, and now, 25 years later, it has gained almost unbelievable cult status. Being shown in theatres, and debuting on bluray.

Is it worthy?

I think so. This is one of the worst movies... ever... but in the best possible way. You will laugh all the way through this one. And hey, there are actually a few really well made fight scenes. As I mentioned, the violence is pretty decent, and you know what, Kim wanted to get all kinds of film famous, and well he sure as heck tried. This is one of those films that will be shown on drunk frat house walls for years to come. The reaction to it from modern fans on this continent and others guarantees it. Though having read up on it, it seems, those involved with the film still feel it is gaining this massive following due to its heart... and characters... and story...


People this is popcorn cheese at it's best... anyone remember the American Ninja films? If the answer is yes, and if you currently own one, or all of them lol, this is sooooo for you. To the rest... A BN (B-Ninja) movie is for a very specific group, I hope this message reaching you....

Tae-Kwon, Tae-kwon, Tae-kwon-do...

Did I mention that Dragon Sound rocks! Seriously they play two entire songs. One of them "Against the Ninja" will be in my head... forever... find it on YouTube and bask!

Oh Yeah, and Y.K. Kim is now a grandmaster and makes DVD help tapes. Ya. Ya that's no joke. There is a link from his "New American dream, and US national exercise". Um apparently you can exercise anytime, even while sleeping. And modern stress is killing us because we have no time to exercise... And this is the answer to our health crisis. You... all really need to see this... I mean... this... I really... I just have no words... Gosh this dude wants his 15 minutes.

Ahhhhhhh could this story get any awesomer. This may be my favorite review ever. Ever. The joy this has brought me.

So after the movie ends we are left with a quote... A message to all those watching. I figured it was appropriate to end this review with that statement.

"Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace"

Thank and good night.

Movie scale 1.5 out of 5 stars
Ninja/80s ninja scale 3 out of 5 stars

- C.B. Boonsweet

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