Monday, March 10, 2008

10,000 years ago, there was this hot chick

10,000 B.C. (2008)

Oh, here we are, our first big budget, bodies flying at each other in computer animated style, epic of 2008. And I, my popcorn, and medium sized pop are ready to rock. I really should have grabs some nibs too... not only tasty, but a handy, chuckable weapon if boredom sets in. 
So, as can be expected with any big ass budget blockbuster, one way to save money, is to have non names, or least littler names, in the lead roles.
So we have Steven "Please forgive me for The Covenant" Strait, Camilla "you have seen nothing I'm in" Belle, as the leads. Camilla as the mysterious blue eyes girl who is found and brought to a camp of Mammoth hunters. Her village lost, her heritage unknown. The rather creepy old wise lady (cause I mean if you believe Hollywood, any civilization before cars had a old wise woman or man, or doctor... well Okay I guess one could argue Scientology still carries on that tradition, ha, anyway...) touches the girl and receives a prophecy that she, and a warrior from the camp will usher in a new age for their people. Years pass, Camilla and Steven grow up together in the camp, and grow in love, until the day of the last hunt. The day the new leader of the camp will be chosen, and claim the fully grown Camilla for his, and lead his people to this foretold new age.
Enter the first real taste of the effects mastery of this film. Holy Hannah (yes I now use the name Hannah Montana as profanity, try it, its great) are they fantastic. The Mammoth (or Mamock as they pronounce it) hunt is unbelievable. One of the folks I saw it with even commented that for a few moments he thought they just glued hair on elephants... Ok so he's a little helmet wear special, but the point is valid. Any who, hunt ends, enter the four legged demons (Warriors that look suspiciously like vikings, on horses), they descend, and take prisoner a large group of the villagers. Steven, and two others, form the camp, pursue the villagers, including his love, over the mountains, and into strange new lands. Lands that include, dino type things, saber tooth tigers, a lot of tribes (each with a pair of prophecy shoes that Steven Strait keeps filling), and concluding with Egyptians, or Egyptian relatives and the construction of the pyramids. Where he rallies slaves, and challenges the way of things for his woman.
Okay, a lot there I know. And yes, as you can gather from my summary, there is plenty of cheese. Like thick greasy nacho cheese, but it is a big budget lay back and enjoy epic, and I did. Directed by Roland "I won't make a movie for under 100 Million" Emmerich, you should have an idea of what you're in for. I mean the man made 'Stargate', 'Independence Day', 'Godzilla'... so, I mean, lots of "Ews", and "Ahs".  The acting holds up. Camilla is appropriately hot, and likable. Steven is actually really good as the hero by accident. The directing is good. Cinematography is very very pretty. I saw this film with quite the diverse group of friends, and everyone left feeling satisfied. It's good film fare, and something that if at all able, you should see on the big screen. 
My favorite scene had to be the spear throwing nod to "300". Well that or the "don't eat me" line to the saber tooth. Good stuff, and not as many silly laugh one liners, or scenes, as you might expect in a Roland film. Very good happy time. Lean back, turn the brain down, but just a little. 
So go get your prehistoric on bitches!

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

I look forward to seeing this again. Oh and the scene with the building of the pyramids was swell, because there is about a 1000 theories on how it was done, so it was interesting to see their take on it.

Boonsweet "way cooler than Seacrest" out

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