Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Dead before Yawn....


Sometimes a movie just tries to be cool... you know... like that one kid that shows up to the first day of school rocking last years coolest clothes... ya... like that... (Possibly that was a personal analogy haha)...

Moving on...

You plot fine Booniacs, and Buckleheads: So years ago our would be nerd hero Casper (yup, casper) witnessed his Dad die, mostly it seems due to messing with a demon skull thingy. Fast forward 15 years... he's crushing on the popular girl, he has nerd friends, and the popular girl is dating a muscle bound jerk (who is strangely not that built - stereotype fail!). Any he decides after all this time to return to the shop where his Father died (happens to be in the family, owned by his Grand-pappy), and watch it for his Gramps. Of course then the girl of dreams shows up and he decides to F with the one thing he shouldn't... you know the thing that has haunted his dreams... the demon skull... and then he breaks it... and um, hickeying suicide eye contact type zombie demons pop up... AKA Zemons.

You get that? Ya. Eye contact leads to suicide... suicide leads to Zemons... zemons lead to hickeying (because eating brains is soooooo last year). I mean... I support ridiculous, I love ridiculous, 80s horror lover here. And you know it could have worked... honestly... the practical ain't horrible... but the real issue here (I will cover a few shortly) is the characters... they are as lifeless as the Zemons.

If you are gunna make a film this Bat shit crazy, you have to balance it out somehow. Like, say, Cool likeable characters for example...There are none here to be found. The nerd is kinda a douche, and so unemotional and dumb that you won't care. The would be "cool" "funny" best friend, is just stupid... the girls are dumb, ah why go on... theres no point.

No, it's cool guys. Licensed surgery, he had two left feet... 
The next really annoying thing is this film was rated R. In fact it got a somewhat cool halloween release in 3D... and yet, it plays like a mildly more than PG. I mean really, ya there's some blood, but they only say shit a couple times, and no F word to be found... I mean what the F?

Ok. Christopher Lloyd is up in this bitch, and that is almost something to balance out all the horrible, but alas, not so much. Then he said "Great Scott" and well, that was better... for a few moments.

Listen this isn't the worst B movie I have seen lately, no, not even close. There's a couple chuckle moments. The action is non stop. But there is no real horror, or Gore here. There are no real clap and cheer at the cheesy awesomeness moments... there is only slightly above average almost disney channel friendly horror. Ok. Maybe more MTV. Not sure. Seriously ever watched an episode of a disney channel show? The acting is like bang on with this one. I didn't research it but I wouldn't be surprised to find out some early evening disney sitcom writer penned this hahaha... For instance they legit take on an entire horde of Zemons... all armed, without one drop of blood or makeup violence... well then they splash a little red on a wall to make up for it at the end - FAIL!

And that folks, makes Me, Chucky B, saddy sad in my sad places. I had a few (be them not that high) hopes for this flick.

You will get annoyed with the level of non-emotion that this cast stumbles through the plot points. Dead family member - next. Our entire school is dead - next. Dead Family member - Next. We can do this speech - next. Give up no we can't give up - next. We must save everyone - next. Oh right, jock and popular girl have a fight and she is now available for nerd - next.

Hey you want a zombie type movie you can watch with ya kids, besides say 3 minutes that tries to be harder than it is, here you go... Listen on that level its not horrible. But as the R rated cheese fest I was hoping for, nothing for me here...

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
Horror scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

If you didn't see the ending coming well, you forgot the Disney channel aspect I mentioned earlier. Almost cute. Almost.

Final thought. 3D! I mean that was their hook right, 3D! They could have at least laid that on thick, but no... no they did not.

looking for a way better would be cool R rated zombie flick try Detention of the Dead for your fix.

Charles Boonsweet saying till next... and um, gooooooooo Broncos!


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