Gone Girl (2014)

Well, okay, I strangely find my like of Affleck growing.

K. In fairness I was never a big Affleck hater. I mean Good Will Hunting, Sum of All fears, Phantoms, Argo, I mean I get the man has kind the range of work but, overall I think I have been more entertained than not. And for the record I do not fear him as Batman. Seriously, stop breaking the internet over shit you haven't even watched yet punks!

Moving on. I have not read the book. But here's what I know, the book is a national bestseller, has all kinds of praise, and well, from most reports the movie follows the book very closely, so I feel I can at least critique the book, or original source material after having watched the finished work especially since the Author of the aforementioned Novel actually penned the screenplay.

Man is this a movie with no payoff. Twisted and strange - yes. Payoff - No.

Ok your story. Semi boring guy has a hot semi boring wife who goes missing and the whole town and then country thinks he killed her. Only there is something much more sinister at play... (Insert Dun-Dun-DUnnnnnnnn!).

Really, you sure, the waters warrrrrrrmmmmmmmm....

So this is a film by David Fincher who helmed Seven, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (american). Two films I loved and I will give him credit for playing down his usual flare to let this film be simply about his actors. Affleck Shines as the husband who didn't really love his wife anymore but is not a murderer... and His wife as the weird sexy girl with... something well, off... Rosamund Pike who I haven't really seen in that much is terrific here. The supporting cast, all of it.

But as a movie, as a whole movie... Gone Girl just well, isn't that entertaining. Yes, it's different. The ending is different, how the plot plays out is cool... but in being so different, traditional parts of a story such as rising action, climax, resolutions... all of that is basically thrown to the wayside. And YES I KNOW some critics are gunna be all - Omg different is so cool, this bold, unique, uncompromising filmmaking... blah blah. The fact remains, aside from the acting there is very little of a movie here... the first thing I thought well the credits roll was - How the hell did they stretch this movie to 2 1/2 hours? and well we're at it... why?!

Really, you usually dress up like a grandma in your movies... and no razzies.... dang

I have heard some people say that the problem audiences may have identifying with the film is the fact the characters are all so vile. I mean, they are all messed up, unworthy people. But I think for me, especially at the start, that made the film all the more interesting. In a way it may have felt more real than most thrillers, but the plot is so nuts that any connection to the real world fades quickly. I think this is one of those films that people jump at - Much like say INCEPTION... where the film feels so different and plays so different that you have to jump up as a film lover and well love it.

But then over time... you find that it didn't really leave that much of an impression... and well, even though you bought it, it hasn't been off your shelf since you brought it back from walmart... where you found it in the 10$ bin.

Gone Girl is not a thriller.... really... it's not a crime drama.... really... it's not a critique on society... really... in fact it is nothing really. It's nothing. It's just a @#%$ up story about @#%$ up people... for 150 minutes.

I'm gunna say it. I hate myself a little... but I'm gunna... you take the A-list cast out... cut out the one scene of violence... and tag on a slightly less gloomy ending, and you have a hallmark thriller... Probably called something like Till Death Do us Part... 

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Thriller Scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

Great acting, A really cool twist ( at the half way point of the film - what?), make it worth watching, but maybe lower your expectations just a bit.

Chuck B is out.