NINJA MOVIE OF THE WEEK (MARCH 2012)

DRAGONS FOREVER (1987)

I hope somehow, the world will acknowledge the impact, and importance of Jackie Chan's body of work. Here is a man that single handedly sculpted the stunt world. Anything you see Tommy Cruise do, Jackie did it first, and prob from six more stories up. I doubt we'll see him gets the lifetime achievement award at the Oscars, but at least the Golden Balls at the spike awards... Something dammit. He has been kicking ass for what... Thirty years. He writes. Directs. Choreographs. Basically invented slapstick kungfu (Okay yes Sammo Hung deserves credit, but really, the chicken or the egg... I dunno).

Dragons forever somehow slipped under my radar, till just now. How - I don't know. However, I have found you now twenty five year old chopsockey brilliance.

Plot as follows. Jackie is a lawyer. He has buddies that help him sway cases. His employer is a bad man. Jackie and his friends end up following for the women they are trying to beat in the case. So they have to battle the bad guys.

This movie was a very big deal in Asian cinema when it dropped because it had the 3 big names in kung fu film at the time. Jackie Chan - Sammo Hung - Biao Yuen (I had no idea who this guy was. Wow. Just wow. Insane skills). It would have been the equivalent of Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Arnold doing a film together in their prime. Rocky vs A terminator that came back in time to kill John McClane? Anyone? Trademarked Punks!

The kung fu in this film is just amazing. A true showcase for each martial artist in here. The fights between them are just too much fun. How they work three stooges schtick into a three way kung fu brawl... brilliance. You know what I wasn't expecting form this film? Me laughing. Hard. Asian film, as wonderful as it is, occasionally (very often) loses me in the humor aspect. Not this one. You are laughing hard one minute, and then picking your jaw off the floor after a stunt. Sammo Hung "exploding" out of a closet might be one of my fav comedy moments ever. I know I said it; EVER. The fights honestly, could not have asked for better. If you are a fan of martial arts films you will see quite a few moves, and camera work, borrowed for today's big ones. Ong Bak... Protector... more than a little bit inspired from this lil nugget.

The fights are great. Almost equal fight time for each of the three stars... Yes, Jackie gets a lil mo' love. That's alright though. The final showdown well have you cheering. It actually made this bruceleelovinjackywudiggintonyjaacheering self fist pump lol.

Dig it Ninja boot to face fans.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

Kung Fu scale 4 out of 5 stars...

C2B

He pisses fire! U damn right he does.

GHOST RIDER 2 : Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Nic Cage is the man.

I don't care. Hate me. Doubt my awesomeness. My rebuttal...

The Rock - Conair - Drive - Faceoff (and the list goes on). Now is Ghost Rider the equal of any of these films. No. No it is not. Was the first Ghost Rider complete cheese? Yes. Yes it was. Was I okay with that... I think I am. I wasn't. I am now.

Okay here's the thing about the Ghost Rider. It's a dude, that becomes a flaming skeleton... And beats up bad guys (who inexplicably continue to battle with a dude that has turned into A FREAKIN FLAMIN SKELETON!). The comics are sweet. The movie is PG cheese. That said. Nic Cage is the reason I enjoyed this film. The first film tried hard to be all bad, and cool, and well, sorry you just can't do that when you've been PGboxedin. Nic gave it a good go, but, just couldn't quite find his smooth. Oooooo and that damn "Innocent" line haha... Here however for round two Nic just goes for it. They all do. The director, the supporting cast, balls 2 da wall silly fun.

The story here... Um. Well... I think a kid is the son of the devil. And his mom is trying to protect him from hitmen, and minions. Ghost Rider gets sucked into protecting the boy... PG violence ensues.

Okay... in the pro column...

-NIC CAGE pisses fire.

Actually I feel that could be the entire pro column.

The cons...

- Plot. Really. WTF.

- Um. Flaming crane?

- Wait. Aren't there four horsemen of the apocalypse?

- The crazy holy man that gets the rider involved... best part of film. He is so damn serious is a movie where a dude pisses FIRE!

Listen this is not the greatest comic movie. In fact prob not in the top ten. Or 58... lol. But it is fun. Cheese. Watching Nic transform on the bike in a ridiculously horribly edited scene while he laughs insanely and screams - Gold.

Ok fine. It kinda sucks lol... but it does look great. And there is enuff here to warrant a watch. Preferably while intoxicated.

Movie scale 1 out of 5 stars

Comic/hero movie scale 2.5 our of 5 stars.

Charles B. Boonsweet signing off.

You'll believe a man can fly....again.

CHRONICLE (2011)


As a fan of comic books and people with superheroes, as well as "found footage" style movies, I was quite eager to see this movie. And when I finished watching, I wasn't disappointed.

Our main characters are as follows; Andrew the high school loser, Matt the cousin of Andrew, and Steve the possibly coolest kid in school. Andrew doesn't have the best life going for him. He's picked on regularly in school, and his home life isn't quite peaches either, as he has to live with his often drunk father and his dying, bed-ridden mother. He decides to get himself a video camera and (obviously) record everything that goes on around him. His cousin Matt wants Andrew to go party with him in an effort to break out of his shell. In doing so he starts to talk to Steve, the nominee for school president. Steve and Matt find a strange hole in the ground later, and after hearing some strange sounds decides to jump in and look around, Andrew reluctantly following. Now, call me cowardly if you must, but I don't think I would go in that hole in the daytime, much less in the night. Especially with weird noises coming out of it. I'm forced to believe that drinking wasn't all these kids were taking in that night.

Anyway, they discover some sort of meteorite that starts to glow strange colors, and the three get overwhelmed with the noise. Next scene shows that they are developing powers, like telekinesis, and eventually levitation/flight. A good chunk of the movie from here on is of the three forming a bond from the powers, and learning new tricks and pulling pranks on people. Unfortunately, Andrew's life still doesn't improve much, especially at home, and he starts to alienate himself from everybody. His anger overtakes him and results in a pretty sweet looking, property destroying final showdown.

My overall thoughts are as follows: I thought overall the acting was pretty good, the three friends seemed pretty convincing in how they acted towards each other. I think my least favorite of the three was Andrew. His character was a borderline stereotypical loser (not that that isn't normal in real life. Hell, I was kind of a loser in high school myself) who at times seemed unnecessarily like a little bitch. I'm also not a big fan of the "abusive parent(s)" role. It seems to me that that kind of character has been used so many times over the years, I think I'm just tired of seeing it. Luckily though for this flick, it didn't take up a lot of the movie's run time.

As for the overall production value, I must say I was pretty impressed. When telekinesis was being used it always seemed believable looking to this reviewer. And while there were some shaky camera moments (see Black Death review for my rant about shaky cam shots), I make an exception for "found footage" flicks. Since the character is an amateur who is holding a video camera, realistically you would expect that sort of thing. And speaking of camerawork, the idea of Andrew eventually using telekinesis to move the camera around for filming was a pretty great idea.

So overall, you need to check it out. But if you see a random hole in the middle of nowhere, I don't recommend you jump in without a thought.

Movie rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Found Footage rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Mr. Bucklesworth over and out