Saturday, December 5, 2009

THE NINJA MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!! (Probably) December '09

NINJA ASSASSIN (2009)

I love ninjas. I have made no attempt at hiding this. It has been a sad time for mainstream ninja flicks. Do you remember the days of American Ninja, and the parade of similar entries (I mean American Ninja 4, Ninjas on rollerblades... priceless). Finally we have NINJA doom dealing in your local cinema, and sweet hell is it awesome.

Okay first. I have read many reviews hating on the CGI blood splatter, limbs, etc. Listen people, purists whatever, I love real old fashion make up and blood packs, but we need to accept those days are done. Hell even the legend Romero has moved on. And yet all these haters are still waiting for it to return... IT"S GONE. Accept it, it shouldn't determine your love of the film. And any movie that has six dismemberment deaths (arms, half face, legs, etc) in the first five minutes deserves attention.

Plot do you need any? Boy raised by Ninjas, falls for Ninja girl, they mess her up. He makes it a mission to kill them all. Did I mention old school flashbacks to explain it all? Goosebumps? You should. First the Ninjas in this movie move how they should, they hide in shadow, move faster than normal man (including one show down where they actually blink out and reappear they are moving so fast). There is so much violence I can't even fit it all in here, I will just say ... Yes.... YEssssssssssssssssssss. The lead is played by an actor/singer who is the JT of Asia. And he holds it down. The guy trained for like eight months or something for this flick, and he makes the roll work, hard. The actions scenes are a ballet of blood and weapons. Some fights as many as twenty on one. Ninja stars flying everywhere... You get the picture. The choreography is awesome. Produced by them Matrix boys you could expect as much.

This is pure popcorn crunching fun. For the boys, or the blood horny ladies... oh they do exist.
I left the theatre with my hands raised... in my mind...
Can not wait for a sequel, here's hoping.

movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Action movie scale 4 out of five stars.

No comments: