Monday, September 15, 2008

Strange how unsweet this pile of ka-ka was


Oh trailers, how you can wrap crap turds in gold foil, and make us believe the rush is happening again. Its true, a little preview polish can go a long way. We've all been fooled, and oh boy was I. My friend and I were pumped to see this trailer, it looked real, and dark, and fun, and well, all kinds of good shizzie. Believe nothing. It's none of them.
And the plot is thus...
Young couple has a big issue, leave party, go back to summer home, where they are terrorized by three "Strangers". That's it, simple, and complete. Think it sounds cool, yeah, it does, but it ain't. Movie starts with some really good acting (actually all the way through) and some genuine creepy ness. So, my anticipation of sweetness was rising, i was getting excited, damn my childish hopes. About twenty minutes in, well, things just get really really stupid. Characters you thought were intelligent, start doing the dumbest things, for instance. There is a slow moving truck slamming into your sedan. It is being driven by a small crazy woman in a mask, you are a big guy, trying to protect your girlfriend. DO you a) run to her driver's side door, knock her the hell out, take her car and escape, or B) run like a bitch back into the house to meet certain doom? Well kiddies? Yeah you know what happen, house and retarded doom. At one point I was actually like, screw them, these folks deserve to die. What point you ask, I'm glad you did, the point when hero has evil person in his sights, with a pump action shot gun, from ten feet away, and proceeds to get distracted by her shinning a flashlight at him. Like oh gosh, the light, the light, I better roll back in fear and confusion and get my ass kicked buy the stranger behind me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... stupid stupid stupid... and for all its claims of inspired by a true whatever, it sure as hell is one predictable piece of by the numbers crap.
Rent it if you have nothing else, NOTHING ELSE to do. Or maybe for Liv Tyler, maybe... ah, wait, no, its still not enough.

Could have been awesome, so awesome, just ruined by some simpleton using every stupid fall own running trick you've ever seen.

movie scale: 1.5 out of 5 stars
horror scale: 1 out of 5 stars

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