Thursday, June 19, 2008

Mad Maxine


Do you love violence? Mindless chaos? Over the top futuristic lands of cannibals? If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, then I give you Doomsday. Okay, so here's your plot; Plague breaks out, in order to protect the population of England, the government sends the all the sick peeps to Scotland, then builds a big ass wall around the country to keep the sickies in. 30 years later somehow there are survivors in Scotland, how no one knows, but seeing as how the deadly virus has suddenly returned in the over populated, England, someone's gonna have to roll in and find that cure, if there is one.
So we send in Rhonda Mitra, as the bad ass, mechanical eyeball poppin', just graduated from the Ripley school of rockin' heroines, military chick. She is every bit believable as the main character, attractive, but with just enough toughness to allow her to smile at the camera one minute, and rip a head off the next. Once she gets in she finds that of course, in 30 years, civilization within the wall has become full of Cannibals, motorcycles, leather, and spiked sticks. I personally would like to believe it would take a little longer than 30 years, but whatever, I ain't survived a post-apocalypse yet, so me no judgey. It takes her team about 7.2 minutes to get dismantled, then she's on her own... from there we have, violence in just about every form. Dismemberment, decapitation, a Knight showdown (kid you not), vehicular manslaughter, and the list goes on... and on.
Neil Marshall (otherwise known as the nobody that directed the slightly overrated "The Descent" and is now a somebody) has a real flare for the chaos, and puts more than a few "Smile it's so bloody" moments in there, that will appeal to any and all action fans. They really don't try to hide the intent here, remake "The Road Warrior" with a female lead, plot doesn't really matter, and kill a bunch of stuff". That's it. You don't like the sounds of that, I promise you won't like the movie. The writing, what little of it there is, is hardly anything but a mild excuse for the bloodshed... Although Malcolm McDowell is in the house, so points. And there are more than a few moments when you might ask something like "Okay how did the bentley drive through an exploding bus undamaged?". People if you have read this review, and got all smiley, went out and rented it, then you should be shot for asking such questions...
No place in film, or action film history here, but a lot of fun... Great flick to drink a few of the beers to and... actually sure with a little effort you could come up with a drinking game... Every time a barbaric person puts a hand up in the air and screams, 2 shots tequila, every time someone loses a body part, 2 shots whiskey, every time female lead gives camera a bad ass wet hair look, 3 shots vodka... and so on. Now ol' Boonsweet here, hardly endorses that sort of thing... But you know... if you legal, and with proper supervision... You will get wrecked.

Movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Action scale 3 out of 5 stars

Brain dead bloody fun...

-Chuck B. Boonsweet

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