I bring you, finally, the death of Superman

SUPERMAN/DOOMSDAY (2007, animated)

Okay, Bryan Singer is obviously a damn good director. The Usual Suspects, and the comic powerhouses that were the first two X-men flicks, but, and it pains me to say this, seriously, he took the most powerful, most well known hero, and made a nice, artsy, sweet, boring, piece of critic praise... otherwise known as, "Superman Returns". How you make a Superman movie without a showdown, without a punch thrown, robot hurled through a building, insert own other want here, is so beyond me. Well Superman fans, though they have promises much more boom for your buck in the upcoming "Superman: Man of steel (2009)", till then I give you an awesomely entertaining piece of Superman flick that is "Superman/doomsday".

Okay so lot of things already going for this flick, before you even watch the dang thing. 1, the same folks behind the cartoons, Batman, Superman, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited, are backing this one, and 2, it involves Doomsday. For those that don't know, well, damn it bitches, do some research. Doomsday killed Superman in the comics, biggest selling comic of all time I might add, nothing even comes close. So when I heard these guys were getting together and doing their interpretation of the tale, I got girl scout cookie delivery giddy. And, after watching, this, THIS is the flick "Superman Returns" wishes it was.

The action in this tale is fantastic. We're barely 5 minutes in, bang, Superman and Doomy Doom are going at it hardcore, and for quite a while. The fight direction is fantastic. Slow motions, exploding buildings, blow for blow, one of the funnest fights to watch, ever, in animated form. I'll put this up there with any of the animes you wanna throw at me. Now, yes it does deviate from the original story, but how could they not really, with the average viewer having no idea who some of the players and story lines from the original comic were. So he gets his fight on, and then the fun really begins with a Superman returning form the grave, but different somehow... oh Lex Luthor do you have something to do with it... hmmmmm

Anyone ever seen "An evening with Kevin Smith"? If you have their is a lovely reference in this to a certain mechanical spider... too sweet, loved it. So you in the mood for popcorn and some epic ass whompin', Superman style?... If you walked out of Superman Returns going, "How'd they make a kid", and, "Did Kumar just kick Superman's ass?" Then this should be as sweet therapy for you, as it was me. Great take on the legendary tale, great voice work, animation is top notch, and the writing is a lot darker, and mature, than Saturday mornings let me tell you (solid PG 13 rating).

Enjoy, I am sure I will be watching this movie many more times, just to enjoy sharing it with my comic loving herds :)

Movie scale : 3.5 stars out of 5 

Comic movie scale: 4.5 out of 5 stars

I'm wearing my undies outside my pants right now... and it feels gooooooooood... ha

Boony outta this beyotch

With my third eye of future vision... I see another average remake

THE EYE (2008)

Yet another Asian horror remake. As a huge slasher fan, and the golden age of American horror, it never ceases to piss me off watching film companies sacrifice creativity, for ripping off anything that comes out of Asia, and gains attention. The Ring, The Messengers, The Grudge, One Missed Call, Shutter, The Ring 2, The Grudge 2... and the list goes on. Hell even "The Departed", and "Collateral" are freaking remakes. It really is disgusting, for a few reasons, it shows the true trouble the film industry of America is in, and it isn't piracy, it's lack of new ideas, and 2, the Asians do it better, way better in most cases. But until someone tells these American producers that simply taking a good idea and throwing a budget at it, don't make it better, I imagine we'll keep seeing them.

So the original "The Eye" wasn't really a horror film, so much as a good thriller, with a couple of jump moments, and the remake stays true that path. So if you're looking for blood and guts and scares, this ain't what you gonna get. Jessica "I wear no sexy outfits in this film" Alba plays a blind woman who regains her sight thanks to an eye transplant. One problem, the eyes seem to come with the ability to see ghosts, and creepy shadow demon things. Of course no one believes her, and since she's just getting used to the world, she's not even sure. However, as they get worse, she decides to find out who her donor was, convinced this "gift" was based down through the transplant.

Okay, Jessica Alba is not a horrible actress, problem is she's not great either. Here is a perfect example of some one wanting to be seen for more than their looks, and well, sorry to say, just doesn't have the acting chops to back it up. Jessica can be really good in the right role, "Fantastic Four", "Into the blue", "Sin City", ... and many other fun flicks, but in this film, with all eyes on her, and more than a few really emotional, trying scenes, well she pulls some off, but not all. There was one scene with her coughing, well, it was bad. That being said, the one major problem with these Asian remakes, is that more often than not, the American version doesn't quite get the characters right. Trying to speed up the plot, and action, in the belief that the North American audience, won't sit and let the story build. In doing that though, the heart is lost. And some of the writing in this version is just rough. One scene that stands out as really bad; Jessica is trying to talk the doctor into helping her find out who donated her eyes, to which he says of course he can't he'd lose his license... So Jessica gives him a cold look and says "Oh well, you worry about your - license". I mean, of course he will, it's only his life, and job, shit. 

The scares are few and far between, and really if you've seen the original, they are direct rip offs, and not as freaky round 2. It's an interesting story with a few cool moments, but not as good as the original, and I mean really, as far as Asian thrillers go, the original wasn't at the top of my list to begin with. Jessica Alba, perhaps one day will be at the level to carry a movie like this on her own, but not yet. 

Not scary, average to bad acting, average to bad writing, and some rough directing. No real reason to see this, other than that one coughing scene... ha. Anyway, I guess with "One missed Call", and this one being the last two mainstream remakes, I'm pretty scared for the next one, which I believe will be shutter.

movie scale 2 out of 5 stars

Keep your eyes off this one folks.... Ha, 'eyes', I'm soooooo clever....

-Chuck B. Boonsweet

Faster than a tank missile, able to leap tall building in a single jet powered launch...

IRON MAN (2008)

Finally, I mean sweet (insert a range of profanities to make my point more then made) finally, a super hero movie that completely, A) Lives up to the hype, B) Has action, a lot of awesome action, and C) Can be fun for the whole family without annoying you with shitty one liners, and stupid plot changes. That's right folks, here it is, 2008's first big ass blockbuster, get off your ass and go see this thang.

Tony Stark(Robert Downey Jr.) is a billionaire weapons designer/seller/playboy. He's a genius, who really doesn't care too much for anything but fun, and being Tony Stark. On a trip to Afghanistan to promote his latest weapon to interested buyers, his envoy is attacked, and he is taken hostage. Badly injured, Tony is saved by a fellow prisoner, who manages to install a electromagnet into his chest, allowing his heart to keep beating, powered by a large battery. When Tony wakes he is told he has to design a new weapon for the terrorists that have captured him. They have a large amount of weapons his company has made for parts. He decides instead to build, first, a better battery for himself, and then a suit of armor that will be powered by it. Then when finished he blows his way out, and is rescued. Back in the U.S. of A, he decides he don't want to be responsible for any more lives lost due to his weapons, and much to his companies dismay, vows no more weapon dealing.

Then he locks himself in his basement and perfects the armor suit design, in hopes of helping others harmed by his company's weapons deals, eventually creating the suit he'll be known for, the red and gold.

Robert Downey Jr., is a brilliant actor. No one can deny that, in fact I would put him in my top 5 all time, but the drugs, and a few bad choices have led to him being all but forgotten by the mainstream, well welcome back Rob, I have a feeling you'll be here for a while. The supporting acting is awesome around him too, front top to bottom. Gwyneth "Yes I named my first kid Apple" Paltrow, as his assistant, and perhaps the only woman he hasn't been with, is great. Terrance Howard as his best friend (and destine to be in a suit of armor himself come sequel time, they even play to that. War Machine, yeah that's right bitches I occasionally read a comic), I mean, you know he's good. Jeff Bridges as the money driven businessman is great. Just all around. The writing is great, all the way through. The humor is really funny, and doesn't seem forced, his R2D2 family friend, robot pal, is a blast. The action scenes are fantastic, and the show down, though a little short, does not disappoint (unlike "superman returns", oh what's that he lifted a giant rock out of the ocean? Wow that's a great show down, glad I spent my money on that 250 million flick). 

In short, all you could ask for to kick the summer off. Also, Marvel's first film solo from any other film studios, looking good for marvel. Stay till after the credits, there is a lovely must see scene, Marvel firing the first shot at DC. Obviously bringing their universes together, and sparking a future multi super hero flick (especially with Tony Stark's rumored appearance in the new "Hulk" film). DC's been talking about doing a BATMAN/SUPERMAN, or JUSTICE LEAGUE film for ever, but it looks like Marvel will be the first to bring different franchises together in one universe, and one film. I am tingly already. Seriously, my left nipple is vibrating right now.

movie scale 4 out of 5 stars

Super Hero scale 4.5 out of 5 stars

You know they'll be more Iron Man coming, and I can't wait.

Boonsweet out bitches 

Wherever they go, I will follow

HAROLD AND KUMAR: ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY (2008)

If you didn't like the first film, "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle", you more than likely will not like this sequel, that simple. I remember going to see the first one on a whim with a few friends, didn't expect too much, a few laughs. Lo and behold, I laughed throughout, and after a disappointing theatre gross (5.5 million), it made a whole bunch of folks laugh on video. Building quite the little following, anxious for more, and finally more came.

It does not disappoint bitches, damn was this flick fun. The plot is messed up, picking up exactly where the first left off, Harold and Kumar, on their way to Amsterdam (to follow Harold's love interest, and get much legally high). Problem occurs when Kumar decides to smoke weed on the flight, with his new invention, the smokeless bong. Of course being of Indian descent, when he is discovered with the bong, he is quickly thought to be a terrorist, and he and Harold are taken down, and brought to a holding facility. Where they meet the completely racist, and retarded temp head of the agency, who sends them to the worst U.S. holding prison, Guantanamo Bay. They escape, and from there embark on an adventure that involves, a bottomless party (yes, exactly what you are thinking), the KKK, the ghetto, rednecks, NPH #2 (meaning Neil Patrick Harris's second adventure), and the "creme de la creme" George W. Bush.

Now the wonderful thing about having a film with minority leads, complete and utter no holds barred racial humor. There are way too many funny moments that really draw on the stereotypes we have on many races, and on America itself. Though they are over the top in many cases, I thought the writers managed to get a few points across. None more awesome than the scene of them getting high with the "W" himself (Played by a professional George W. Bush look-a-like, and damn does he look and act like him). That scene alone is worth the price of admission, watching the "W" get high and tell his Dad to "F" off over the phone while they all giggle and get more high is just priceless.  And NPH is back, and not missing a step this time around... 

There are a few jokes that will be missed by peeps maybe not as familiar with politics, or some of the more un-obvious racial stereotypes, but even those are fun. The heart of the story is a fun little love tale of Kumar (who it turns out was not always a stoner, in a swell little flashback scene) trying to win back his first love. Nothing too original there, but it is fun, and she is hot. Also, the marijuana bag he married in the first film is back... and it gets dirty folks, boy howdy, so wrong... ha. Complete stoner, minority, chaos, I loved it, laughed all through. Is it better than the first one? I don't know... I'd say at the least it's as good, but that "W" scene might just sway me to say it's better... 

movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

comedy scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

- Boonsweet sayin stay high bitches, and watch for those shiny horn unicorns (Luv it NPH)