Final Girl (2015)

Something about a sexy blonde...

Every once in a while a film within the horror genre comes along with an Idea that is, for all intents and purposes, Unique. Final Girls to me, seemed to be one of these films. Now, when I - a lifelong horror enthusiast - encounter such a film, I review it with a certain restraint, because in a genre so over populated with beentheredonethat ... original ideas should be appreciated.

That said. Let's get into it.

So your plot: A young girl, after the death of her Mother, is recruited by the smoldering eyes of "Un-named character" (played by Wes Bentley)... and trained for the next twelve years to be a killer of slasher types. Or well, really evil murdering types. The full grown Veronica (played by the always fun Abigail Breslin) is set loose on a group of murdering young men to exact justice.

Ok. Right. Sounds fun. And bloody and cool. There are a few problems here though... 1st Veronica tries her best but Abigail can't ever really make her seem intimidating or actually capable of all this superhuman man destruction. There is a part where she chokes a guy out about 3 times her size... All I could think was - hit her, and she'll be done, and you can go on breathing.

Wait, what? Thats how pretty little liars ends? Well... ok try explaining it again...

Unlike a Jessica Biel, Sarah Michelle Gellar, etc... she just doesn't come across as tough. Now is that her fault, I don't think so. She is a talented actress, but I think the time devoted to training her, and making you believe she can be tough is just lacking.

The directing is pretty good. A few things how ever... like the forest... at night... apparently being lit by a giant spotlight... seem just... horribly set up. It was almost comical... I mean where did that mini spotlight come from. After a while it feels like perhaps the director (his first feature) is attempting to do one of two things... play a portion of the scenes as if it were a play... or pay homage to the king of horror lighting Dario Argento (Inferno came to mind).

Case in point ... all the main players are seated around in the woods (spotlights apparently places throughout for lighting)... when the scene and the stories told would have been infinitely more creepy by the naturalmostly-natural lighting of a campfire. As distracting as it was at times, I am going to say that I chose to view it as part of the film's "Look" and bitch no further.

Mmmm. Candy blood.

Now this film does a weird thing with the timeline where after the initial introduction with her as a child they jump forward 12 years... Ok. That would've been fine. If, IF they had simply made her a badass after 12 years... and then moved right into the hunter/prey thing. But no... they actually show you a bunch of her training now... and funny story, she apparently hasn't learned a thing in 12 years... like how to throw a punch... or well anything really. So what was she learning in over a decade under the guidance of strangely attractive man... Who doesn't seem all that tough himself.

Rule one: A bad-Ass character must in fact be BAD-ASS.

Well. Listen all this beef you see here, is in the first act... AKA first 30 minutes. So once we get to the killers VS trained killer of killers... how does it go. Sigh. Well it takes another 20 minutes.

Really once it gets going I was all - This is it. It is on. And there are flashes. For one - the conversation she has with the head bad guy is gold. I mean really good stuff. The attraction he has for her psycho side is great and hints at what could've been a really cool angle. Hell this whole film hints at what could be been sadly... there really is nothing here.

They waste time on a horrible tough girl montage... time that could, and should, have been given to developing the villains. She's a final girl. We really did not need more than that little girl opening. As it is, you don't care about anyone, or anything. The final fight, and chat is great... I mean that... really fun... but it stands out as the only few minutes of the film that are actually engaging. This film has been marketed as a violent revenge against the slasher kinda film... and its not... don't believe the R rating... a couple of F bombs aside... there's barely enough here for the PG-13.

This movie, within this script, there was something here... really, but the direction... and time put into this movie seems to have been minimal. Case in point (again) why does the main guy want to kill blondes? I don't know... and you know what would've been nice instead of what is essentially a crazy and silly final moment - possibly an explanation for that. Ah dang it... this is the worst part of being a film fan, a blogger, a writer, and a general film geek... when you see how it could've been something... something really really cool, and it just went to poop because no one realized extra gore would've been great... teaching the tiny hollywood actress how to how her hands and body in a fight would've been great... and well you get it.

I don't think there is enough here to recommend it. But hey, maybe you are someone who enjoys imagining what couldve been.

Oh and why the hell was this movie set in the 50s? or 60s? whatever it was? Just no damn point to that. No point at all. Much like most of this film.

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
Horror scale 2 out of 5 stars

One line Review: No blood, no drama, no nothin. 

Boonsweet is out!

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