Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pro choice

THE UNBORN (2008)


Okay so first let ol' Boony here apologize for being a mad wicked douche and neglecting my public informing responsibilities. I do occasionally get a wee bit distracted by the world at large, and some pretty ambitious writing projects... That being said, let us continue...

So to start things off the big push behind this here film when it was going through the advertising process was that one of the co-writers of "The Dark Knight" wrote this. Do not expect brilliance. This film has its moments, but as is the case with more than a few entries in the horror mainstream, the plot at some point is almost so nonsensical that you must unplug your brain for the logic cortex as it may overload your sense stream resulting in loss of control over such things as drool, and jaw closing... okay so I made that up, but it sounded freaking legit!

So super hot chick is being stalked by evil demon kid with a habit of twisting heads upside down. Before the end of this here adventure the demon kid will be attached to twins, killing babies, making four year olds extremely creepy, Jews, Nazi experimentation... and really messing up and old guy in a hospital gown (even though he's in a nursing home? Confused? You should be. Oh that super hot chick one plus, looks just like Megan Fox. Which is never a bad thing. I mean this in a non negative way, because as far as I can tell Odette Yustman is every inch the actress Miss Fox is, but literally it was as if producer Michael Bay (behind the Transformers) said "well I can't get that super hot bitch from my Go-bots flick, so this one will do, oh, and she's cheaper".

Anywho... so she decides an exorcism will do the trick... insert all kinds of screaming, lights dimming, and all the other Hollywood cliches we've come to expect from any piece of priest vs. demon moment. Although - why Odette (playing the lovely possessed Casey) was strapped to bed with something that looked suspiciously of hardcore S&M I'm not sure (To anyone that does not know what s&m is, well I'm hardly going to harsh your fragile ears eyes, with an explanation). I might be making this sound like a by the numbers demon flick, and it is. However it does have a few genuinely creepy moments. It seemed however that the only thing this film had going for it was some slick direction (David S Goyer man behind Blade 3 and the forgettable "Invisible"), making the most out of every scare, but there just isn't enough there to hold the viewers interest. The acting is average, with the exception of a "What the hell are you doing in this movie" moment with Gary Oldman.

In closing expect some scares, some creeps, and a lot of "Um, are they serious"...

Movie scale 1.5 out of 5 stars
horror scale 2 out of 5 stars.

Another Owww my head moment... but prob worth one view with a lady friend, and some snacks.

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