So you like you independent horror films? You are a champion of the B movie, the C movie, and hell after 21 and a half drinks the D movie as well? This may be one of those rare modern cheapies that is worth your time... AFTER SCHOOL MASSACRE !
Your story goes... There was a teacher... an attractive teacher than some of the more whore type students wanted to hook up with in ... High School? haha I think (hello this film suffers from adults paying kids). SO he gets fired over a student trying to Facebook friend request him? I guess. Ok. Then decides they all deserve to die. And theres your plot (why does a chick OD at the beginning? No idea)
Ok well, I will admit I thought this was just another run of the mill cranked out on a college project type budget... It starts off with a bunch of sexy (but clothed college girls because in this new era of independent horror apparently nudity is impossible !) chicks apparently having a make up type slumber party... but then a strange moment of decent acting in writing caught my eye...
And then the coolest opening credits sequence I have seen in a long time... and so on point with the story that I actually adjusted myself on the couch and thought... Well Ol' Boony... you might have something here....
AFTER SCHOOL MASSACRE has its cheap tongue buried in its cheaper cheek... And I was having fun... the acting is cheese... the writing is cheese... but if its the right cheese thats ok right? (I direct your attention to most of the well loved 80s haha) So I try to review any of these films with the same open mind I approach the B movie splatter fests of decades past...
Much like those films every once and a while the acting seems to catch up with a great moment in an otherwise by the numbers script... and I smiled. Really, I'm watching an off the mainstream bit of indie cheese... if I'm smiling thats enough.
Holy side boob! Remember what I mentioned about no nudity happening in all these DTV flicks... ya... prepare yourself for one of the most aggravating nude/butnonude scenes ever. Be still my long ago teen heart. Hey ever wanted to see a chick get killed with a mailbox? Then this is for you.
1) Chick Slumber party
2) Pajama dance party
3) Two guys that sneak and watch them through an open window
3.5) one of the guys is wearing a fedora...
Check, check, check-check.
Its all here folks. Listen if you don't believe that women ... young women... when partying alone... immediately (after two shots) strip (to only underwear) and dance and grope each other... then you sir... are a man... who has forgotten the hope, and dreams, and trust... of your younger teenage self.
Don't let that poster fool you there really isn't that much gore here... a lot of blood cough ups, and spit ups.... but thats about it. Is this a good movie - NO. Haha but really if you saw that poster and were tempted, should you care about that - NO. Because you have accepted the level of crap this film is ... and know you will still enjoy it. SO then this is for you. Yes if it took place in the 80s... there would be non stop nudity, and practical gore... and it was be a slasher classic.... but they tried their best and for that, I for one, appreciate them...
Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
Horror/slasher scale 2.5 out of 5 stars
Also... really why have a ghost type chick haunting anyone and not make her the killer? For example... all of the girls (minus a survival girl) slept with her man which is why she killed herself... and now she possessed the body of the teacher they want and she seduces and destroys them all? Ya that woulda made a lil more sense... but hey what do I know...
Oh ya. - EVERYTHING !
K. Booniacs... till next... keep your stick on the gridiron...
(football - seven weeks!)
#AfterSchoolMassacre
-CBB
