The Accountant (2016)

HE'S MAKING A LIST, HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE... WAIT... NO THATS... DAMN.

Well. I wanna be honest. I did not have high expectations for this film... in fact if you watched the trailers you probably though - as I did - well Ben Affleck here is just pulling a Matt Damon and getting his Bourne on. But, low and behold, we have ourselves a genuine unexpected action treasure here.

Ok. Your plot dear Booniacs... A boy grows up with a high functioning autism and through the efforts of his determined military Father, developed the skills that eventually lead him to a career as a very high end accountant to the criminal element. Also, a pretty formidable opponent should you choose to cross him. Anyway, enter a new client, and then they make the mistake of trying to kill him, and a cute female employee (the always somehow alluring Anna Kendrick) and he of course decided to prevent that.

Seriously... unimpressed with - them apples. 

Yes. I know what you are thinking, Ok Chuck, Charles, Mr. Boonsweet, yes the autism angle might be a little newish, but the rest... Nah thats by the book stuff. And you know what you right, you right internet world. However, really, are their any ideas left? I submit no. And if you find one, you are probably sitting in a theatre in france, trying to mentally process the 4 hour art project examining love in the 5th dimension of time...

Really, its about how well you do a known story these days. Its taking your expectations and still managing to make you laugh, or cheer, or invest. And this Accountant delivers.

So first, to anyone that wants to poop on this film for how they handle autism, and blah blah... because I'm sure there will be some... shame on you. This is a film that really highlights some of the struggles, but more so (whether hollywooded or not) what they are still capable of despite in some cases severe behavioural issues.

How to properly select your "Start the day" emoji. 

Thats out o the way, lets just talk how fun this movie is. The acting is top notch... if you are as of yet still not a Affleck fan, well, this probably won't change your mind... but he nails it here... the cardboard awkwardness... the cold calculating killer when he needs to be... the absence of processable emotion... the action is a blast. This is kinda like the thinking man's JOHN WICK if you will. More plot, a little more heart, and slightly less bullets to the head... though that last one is debatable.

The director, who admittedly I only really know from Warrior (A very good film) does a great job of calmly capturing the action with a certain lack of emotion I am sure was meant to capture the essence of the main character, as well as the muted colours (ya I'm going scenery deep in this people), really bring the presentation and the protagonist together.

Overall this will rank as one of my very pleasant 2016 surprises.

And the way the year is going, no doubt one of the best action films as well...

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Till next Booniacs.

#Theaccountant
#BenAffleck
#hastagsarestillcool
#Boonsweetout.

After School Massacre (2014)

don't cut class....

So you like you independent horror films? You are a champion of the B movie, the C movie, and hell after 21 and a half drinks the D movie as well? This may be one of those rare modern cheapies that is worth your time... AFTER SCHOOL MASSACRE !

Your story goes... There was a teacher... an attractive teacher than some of the more whore type students wanted to hook up with in ... High School? haha I think (hello this film suffers from adults paying kids). SO he gets fired over a student trying to Facebook friend request him? I guess. Ok. Then decides they all deserve to die. And theres your plot (why does a chick OD at the beginning? No idea)

Ok well, I will admit I thought this was just another run of the mill cranked out on a college project type budget... It starts off with a bunch of sexy (but clothed college girls because in this new era of independent horror apparently nudity is impossible !) chicks apparently having a make up type slumber party... but then a strange moment of decent acting in writing caught my eye...

And then the coolest opening credits sequence I have seen in a long time... and so on point with the story that I actually adjusted myself on the couch and thought... Well Ol' Boony... you might have something here....

AFTER SCHOOL MASSACRE has its cheap tongue buried in its cheaper cheek... And I was having fun... the acting is cheese... the writing is cheese... but if its the right cheese thats ok right? (I direct your attention to most of the well loved 80s haha) So I try to review any of these films with the same open mind I approach the B movie splatter fests of decades past...

Much like those films every once and a while the acting seems to catch up with a great moment in an otherwise by the numbers script... and I smiled. Really, I'm watching an off the mainstream bit of indie cheese... if I'm smiling thats enough.

Holy side boob! Remember what I mentioned about no nudity happening in all these DTV flicks... ya... prepare yourself for one of the most aggravating nude/butnonude scenes ever. Be still my long ago teen heart. Hey ever wanted to see a chick get killed with a mailbox? Then this is for you.

1) Chick Slumber party
2) Pajama dance party
3) Two guys that sneak and watch them through an open window
3.5) one of the guys is wearing a fedora...

Check, check, check-check.

Its all here folks. Listen if you don't believe that women ... young women... when partying alone... immediately (after two shots) strip (to only underwear) and dance and grope each other... then you sir... are a man... who has forgotten the hope, and dreams, and trust... of your younger teenage self.

Don't let that poster fool you there really isn't that much gore here...  a lot of blood cough ups, and spit ups.... but thats about it. Is this a good movie - NO. Haha but really if you saw that poster and were tempted, should you care about that - NO. Because you have accepted the level of crap this film is ... and know you will still enjoy it. SO then this is for you. Yes if it took place in the 80s... there would be non stop nudity, and practical gore... and it was be a slasher classic.... but they tried their best and for that, I for one, appreciate them...

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars
Horror/slasher scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

Also... really why have a ghost type chick haunting anyone and not make her the killer? For example... all of the girls (minus a survival girl) slept with her man which is why she killed herself... and now she possessed the body of the teacher they want and she seduces and destroys them all? Ya that woulda made a lil more sense... but hey what do I know...

Oh ya. - EVERYTHING !

K. Booniacs... till next... keep your stick on the gridiron...

(football - seven weeks!)
#AfterSchoolMassacre

-CBB

Captain America: Civil War - VS - Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

2016

Battle of the twice named superhero flicks.
Marvel Vs DC.
Capes vs slightly less capes.
However you wanna cut it since superman went one way and stan lee the other, Marvel vs DC has been a fun and awesome thing. Now with bankrolls that would make most of us cry, Warner and disney, have fueled the conflict to a whole new level.

So in the battle of 200 million dollar throw downs who won?

Ok. I am going to summarize my argument here... so that if you wanna skip all my sharp... intelligent... witty (and the list goes on) thoughts on he topic, and go right into nerd hate mode... you may. I embrace your uneducated and firmly self founded stance. Haha... jokes. I Boonsweet, heart you all.

BATMAN V SUPERMAN IS THE SUPERIOR FILM.

Your breast feels firm batman... so firm. 

Boom.
Now considering the crazy backlash Barman V superman (to be called BvS for the rest of this article) has had, how can I possibly make this claim? Well if you read my BvS review then you probably know where I am coming from. Captain America suffers from two major.... major flaws. One it does not take itself seriously. Oh there are people out there saying BvS was too dark and too serious... and hell I think I agree with you. But BvS took a chance, and basically incorporated storylines and plot points direct from the comic story line.

Humanities response to a god like hero... the hero as a man, trying to understand his role and his responsibility to a planet not of his own. And to anyone that says "Superman is not all broody and dark, he is suppose to be all light and fun" ... well... you of course are basing that on the cartoon series, and not on the actually comics. Did you read the arc where superman kills three super villains in an alternate universe and then abandons earth because he feels he is tainted and deserves to be alone? Ya. AN ENTIRE STORYLINE entered around a brooding superman... in the 80/90s... or how about the new comics launch... where humanity wanted him destroyed basically and he could barely motivate himself to be the hero he would come to be.

So yes DC took a risk and did not water it down for the public and instead of embracing this, the net nerds as a whole blasted them for it. We the supposed defenders of the original source material, the believers in truth, and justice, and blah blah... Yes it had its flaws (Lex *cough, Luthor)... but its still the better film.

Look. Both films look great, are well acted, the fights are fun, so really this comes down to one major problem.

Marvel doesn't have the balls.

Marvel has PG nuts. Thats the problem. In Civil War they can't help themselves but to have characters that are supposedly at opposite ends of an insanely important issue... crack jokes and dumb the violence down so its kinda fun and not really threatening. And the net nerds support it?! Im sorry have you read the CIVIL WAY COMICs ? Captain freaking america dies!! Or how about how Thor is dead so Iron Man clones his DNA and brings a drone Thor to life to rain judgement down on Cap and his pals.

None of that happened.

Or how about how villains rose up with the heroes to defend their right to secret identities... nope.... none of that happened either.

And yet. No one cares. Review after review ... Marvel proves once again how much better they are at this... and blah blah... and BvS gets blasted for "Bastardizing characters and story lines" ... what?!

So without the balls every fight essentially comes across as fun. Basically brothers fighting... which eliminates any real threat to the heroes or the children in the audience watching the movie. Well done marvel.

Now on to the second major flaw... How they handled placing spiderman in this film. Ok. 1) to have me believe a seasoned hero Tony Stark, aka the man of iron, would decide a 15 year old kid should be throw in the middle of a would be throw down to end all throw downs - only proves even he doesn't take the stakes of this fight serious. But the real problem is, they clearly didn't think about a truly organic way to get Spidey into the Marvel universe...They were just like - get HIM IN THE MOVIE.

Do you wanna watch Boonsweet fix this? Ol' Chuck here work some magic.... Cap and his pal the winter soldier aka Bucky, come from brooklyn... so while on the run they stop in brooklyn to kinda refresh their past and help Bucky with his memory issues (hell maybe even turns out Bucky has a relative still alive)... However Iron Man knew they would show there and an unfortunate fight breaks out between them... Spiderman (who operates in queens) sees the commotion and shows up trying to beg them to stop before Brooklyn gets levelled... unsuccessfully he tries to stop both sides before being taken out and Cap realizing he's just a kid which eventually leads him to realizing their fight has just destroyed blocks of his former home (whole lot closer to the comic by the way) and he then retreats with bucky in the ship that iron  man came in... which allows the ending as it was in the film.

Boom! Spiderman worked into the plot organically, and a more serious tone to what should have been a life and death struggle.

Marvel at this point is basically following this arc - Hero - hero conflicted about hero-ness - a scene or two with humour - hero must get serious again and defend his hero-ness - also regular humans are tricky! And sprinkle in other heroes ... because just like a modern hip hop album... its best to have three people on every damn track.

Le sigh. Marvel played it safe... and we rewarded them... DC took a chance and we crushed them. A,m I excited for a happier lighter hearted Justice league film... YES!! But I think BvS had to happen to get us there... had to examine what being a hero meant... and newsflash... it should be more than being able to spout one liners in the middle of a throw down.

I am not saying BvS was a perfect film... it was not... clearly... however in the battle of the comic companies, i think it was the far more involved film. I mean think about it this way, since you have seen Civil War, did you even talk about it really? Or did you think about it a week later? No it was fun, and fluffy, and you smiled, and were happy with spending you $$ to see it. But BvS you debated with friends, left a few comments on a blog to debate something... argued with a guy you barely know about some aspect of it... it affected you. For better or worse it left an impression... and that to me is proof of its superiority. It stayed with you.

As always. I appreciate the support and non support and hate and love, and everything this modern age of film grants us geeks!

Till next Booniacs!

#CivilWar
#DawnofJsutice
#BvS

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Haters gunna hate.

Listen I want to start this review by explaining one very important point: No one really gives a crap what marvel does. Sorry, but its true. You might here a little rumbling here, or there, about casting, or plot changes... But really for the most part, no one cares. Why? Because marvel has essentially grown up within the public as a film entity. Meaning that fans do not identify with the comics, or history, of the characters, but rather the celluloid presentation. Where as with DC... and Batman, and Superman... well thats a different story. I mean my Grandma, who has never cared About seeing any grown man in spandex (her words haha) can tell you Batman and Superman's origin story. They are characters that our burned into the big old fabric couch of our universe.

I remember seeing a shot of a rally in a country half way around the world... protesting the murder of their people... and there in the middle of the clash between a corrupt government and a desperate people was a child wearing a superman shirt... That folks is when a character transcends medium and becomes a message. Did I go deep there? Yes. Am I sorry? No. Because its true. The upcoming Captain America: Civil War... which sees arguably the most famous Marvel Story line ever... completely changed and twisted for the big screen... Has garnered almost no hate from the Nerd-verse... yet it is a bastardization of the source material. But thats OK BECAUSE ITS MARVEL and really, it will probably be a fun flick so who cares...

So maybe the fact that Batman V Superman has divided so many fans is proof of the importance and influence of its characters. As well as why people are just so damned critical of anything that comes from DC (yes you all remember when the net nerds cried bloody freakin' murder with Heath Ledger was cast as the joker... They were totally right on that one ... right? haha silly Haters). But any film concerning these characters feels like an assault, a threat, against our childhood... and well maybe something closer to our core than most would admit.

Ok... look... Lex had hair in the 90s... seriously, screw you Clark!

I waited a while to write this review. And before I do your plot... if you need a plot...

Superman newly revealed to society after the events of Man of Steel has caught the attention of the Batman, as a would be threat to the whole planet. With a wee be of Lex Luthor behind the scenes... the stage is set for Superman to battle both the reaction of a word to him, and all he represents, and Batman's own paranoia and desperation to maintain a control of what he believes is the protection of mankind. Oh. And Wonder Woman is hot and stuff.

Ok. DC stepped up, and dropped wonder woman on us. Was she entirely needed in this film, no, but it was time to bring a female character of her level (sorry, but really who the F cares about black widow) to the big screen. And Gal Gadot nails her from her small role in this film... I for one am stoked for her solo flick.

Ben Affleck, despite having to be a crazed Batman for a portion of this film is a blast, and the batman throw down action causes giddy. Trust, he fills the tights nicely. The cameos in the film to set up the Justice League film... are a little forced, and Aquamans... is well... just awkward... buuuuuuuuut still cool.

Sweet hell did DC and Warner really go for it here, and that is a part of the reasons this film for forever be divisive. First, they had the balls to pull the What would society really think of a Superman type hero, how would we as a people react? A theme that has come up many times in the comics... including the brilliant first 6-10 issues of the New ACTION COMICS story line... in the new 52... and yes i just nerd-ed out there for a moment... I still read comics... so unlike most of you... (and I speak to the haters) I know what I am talking about. Still it is something that has been skipped past in most marvel entries who have just focused on fun... and hey there is nothing wrong with fun... reference my saturday nights... Boom! But what is wrong with a superhero film trying to be something more?

I say nothing.

I have heard critics say everything from There was not enough action... to Non comic fans won't get this movie... Ok to the first point. What!? There is action all through this film... is there a good chunk set aside to build the Lex Luthor villain... and the batman, superman, conflict... yes... and a little Lois Lane in there... But there is a ton of action.. most of the last hour in fact. Balls to the wall. To the second point... Non Comic fans ... the hell are you dumb-asses talking about? These movies are making billions at the box office... the biggest sports apparel company in the world has a superhero clothing line... WE ARE ALL COMIC FANS NOW... and dammit... people are not dumb. I think they can handle it... well unless all they do is read reviews and ignore their inner desire to see something for themselves...

NOTE: Unless it is a film featured in my CRAP! segment in which case I have taken the hit for you... please... for the love of god... do not ever watch any film in my CRAP! segment... for your own well being... that is all.

Is this a perfect film? No. It is a set up for the films to come. There is also the problem of Lex Luthor... Jesse Eisenberg plays him like a cool psycho with style.. and I am sorry, it does not work. There are moments when he gets it... and comes oh so close, and they next thing you know he is all jerky motion, and look at me I'm such a cool evil guy and it doesn't work for the whole film... but there are moments.

The final fight though jaw dropping at some points also loses some of its power with the cut aways to different things going on during the battle. I would've been fine watching them throw down with no interruptions for like 45 minutes... haha... seriously. And heck with this rumoured 3 hour version on blu-ray might just get my chance... whoop whoop.

Also... and even the biggest fan of this film will admit I'm sure they did over stuff this stocking. I understand it, basically trying to set an entire universe up with one film... and it almost works... but there is just a lot going on (one particular dream/vision/future scene is confusing as heck and hell I know all when it comes to this spandex wearing punks) but hey... its a blast, and worth every bit of the money you paid.

I had to put this here, found it online... drink it in folks... cause it is freaking happening!

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Superhero movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

This is a solid first (1.5) chapter of the new DC universe... and although I was a little bummed we did not get a little glimpse of the probable big bad - Darkseid - for the Justice league flick... Still very excited to see where it goes.

One line review: Tights, bright lights, an amazon in a ballgown and one heck of a throw down. 

I will leave on this... my comic shop guy said to me the other day... "You know, I look at it like this... every one of this films would have been the greatest film of my childhood back in the day. You know. So I love them all, its just so damn cool I get to see it" Ya. He's right. We have all been spoiled. And need to indulge that inner child a bit more I think.

#BvS
#ManofSteel
#teamSuperman

Boon sweet out!