Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (2020)

A title change... and a whole lot of internet rage...

So. Let me say first off... there are Millions and Millions of people... aka the vast majority that understand a bad movie is just that. However, there is a growing movement in hollywood to label films in some progressive light - for example - this film is about empowering a gender... and then when it fails... they reference that as the reason... So there is a small group of movies, that are almost "Fail" proof, because people just nod and go - it wasn't your fault - society.

Now. As I said. Most people understand - bad movie is bad movie. However, I have read some posts explaining things like "It's so sad that men aren't ready to support strong women" or my fav "This film wasn't sexy enough for men to invest I guess, sad statement on society".

I read comics. I love comics. I read books. I watch all things. And I've been trying to find a way to explain this movie to non comic fans... because everyone complaining on line - well first - from the box office results, most of you didn't see the film and 2. I know you haven't read the comics. So for once - a rare moment - I want to comment on the source material.

TITANIC ... most of you have seen Titanic... Diamond. Rose. Leo floating on a board. Imagine they remade that movie tomorrow. And the story was essentially the same... except - it was now in the future, the TITANIC was a spaceship, and Leo's character was now a 320 pound man with thinning hair. At the end of the move, he lived and Rose is the one that died. Imagine walking out of the theatre and saying to your friend "Well, I mean it was ok, but I didn't really like what they did with the characters, or I mean - why the F was it a spaceship?"... and after you said that someone jumped out from around the corner and said - HA IT'S CAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE MEN.

Does that make any sense to you? Does this analogy work?

Let's try one more... TWILIGHT... gets remade this weekend. You gather your friends because you remember this film from your childhood... and you are stoked, and a little scared, you see what a new version looks like. You go to the movie... and now instead of sparkling vampires, its actually a zombie love story... and it's called twilight because at twilight is when these zombies rise to attack the living... Only Edward... now named EDDIE see's Bella and decides maybe she is worth loving and not eating... Oh and his skin sparkles once... buts its done during this fireworks scene just because the writer/director thought it would be a cool call out... and while walking out of the theatre... you turned to your friend... and say "Wow, who the hell decided to change it to zombies, that was dumb... and why did they call him Eddie, what the hell"... and then someone jumped our from around the corner and yelled - HA IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE STRONG WOMEN.

There.... thats the best I can do to explain to you. If you don't get it fine. If you do and you wanna say - well ok thats just you, not all men - listen you can spin it however you want. I just wanna talk about a movie instead of engaging in internet warfare and explain - my love or hate of this movie would never, ever, have had anything to do with women... and everything to do with things like...

The left - super awesome ninja cassandra kane... right... punk street kid - that... steals things?

BATGIRL... raised my a guild of ancient assassins... is now a short... overweight kid that pick pockets. And is also not batgirl... and... Huntress dresses like a reject from a MC hammer video... and is also kinda dumb because she ... what... hasn't been in the world or something for long? That part is not really explained... any way ok... long intro...

YOUR STORY GOES... Harley Quinn... leaves the joker. Pisses off a mob guy, and with Huntress, and Black Canary... and well not Cassandra Kane (aka useless kid that takes a diamond) and a cop Renee, will rise up and challenge the gangland authority.

Ok. I can't - I'm going back to batgirl... Cassandra... WHAT - WHY - she was literally one of the strongest most badass women in the entire DC universe. If anyone wanted females front and centre... she would've been the one. Or even to use her as a non batgirl... and leave the door open for her growth into the Batgirl character... especially since Huntress has dabbled with the Bat family as well.

Also... birds of prey... MORE BATGIRL STUFF... is led by Oracle... aka the Batgirl that was shot by the joker. Is she any where... the leader of the Birds of Prey... the actual main character (arguably) of the whole comic. Someone with a built in connection to Harley's Ex? Nope. She's just gone. I mean the sheer insulting nature of the approach to this movie... as I said... reference those two examples I left. I doubt it fully inspires the level of my disbelief at how insanely - just dismissive - this film is of everything I loved from the comics... just to have a flimsy story to prop up Harley Quinn... and course how could you under stand... you didn't have to sit through Zombie Eddie.

Sigh.

Ok. That said. The movie is fun. Ya ya I know. But.

Really I mean it. Despite my deep Batgirl related sadness. There are some truly cool action scenes...

I laughed. I smiled. I ate pop corn and drank a beer in a theatre - which always makes me feel good. The action scenes for the most part are actually really fun. The actors, all of them, do the best they can with the material. Though, outside of Harley, most have pretty limited lined to work with.

Sigh. I just... ahhhhhhhhhh... I can't stop.

Which begs the question - why not just call this movie HARLEY: Single and Crazy... and have the same story... without completely destroying a comic book in the process. Just have a street kid steal a diamond the bad guy wants, and a bunch of new characters get behind Harley to help. You could've had the exact same movie... exact same... and I wouldn't have to think to myself - why does every one that made this movie think - I A GUY THAT LOVES BIRDS OF PREY... a guy that was pumped to see they characters they decided to bring to screen - am a useless pile of crap that doesn't matter in the least.

If birds of prey doesn't matter... don't buy the rights, and make a movie called that you damn jerks. It's like you are daring me to hate your movie... well challenge accepted.

Now, this is key... As a movie... if you ignore all the comic stuff (ya - in a comic movie - ignore the comic stuff) its a decent face paced fun movie. Ewan McGregor is having a blast as the villain, and does have many great scenes... including an uncomfortably menacing scene that was unexpected with the tone of the movie. Harley is always a blast.. Margot Robbie is just ... pretty much Harley... I think they missed a chance to really explore her calm and caring side... something that adds a real dimension to her in the comics. But as DC's female Deadpool-ish... she is bang on.

Violence, and drugs, and pet Hyenas. The movie is fast and colourful, and fun. I think there will be a lot of people that really dig this. My own brother told me this was his fav DC film. And cool. As I said, if you watch this with no idea, I think you can have a real good snack worthy time here. If you are a real comic fan.... theres some real rough spots. And for me the issue is... much like with SUICIDE SQUAD... its fun... but I don't need it in 4K on my shelf. For me when I compare it to films like - WONDER WOMAN, AQUAMAN, JOKER, MAN OF STEEL, SHAZAM... its not even close to my fav. But who knows... find it for 5-10$ in a bin... i might.

OH SWEET HELL BATGIRL!!!

WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

ONE LINE MOVIE REVIEW: Bad for your comic loving heart. Good for popcorn.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Comic movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

I've said it before about DC... I appreciate that they really take risks... or at least accidentally take risks. Unlike Marvel ... where every movie (and I'm talking disney not Sony here) is a perfectly mixed blend of humour and heart and 2 action set pieces... DC... I just never know what I'm gunna get... and I get excited for the unknown. Even when it cuts me... so deep.

I am glad comic movies are being made. But screen writers need to put down their egos... and just write the comics. There is a reason they have been around for 30 years (birds of prey) and this movie will be forgotten in a year. Or a week. Or already.

- CBB

Colour out of Space (2020)

CAGE RAGE for the freaking win...

Well. I'm all in guys.
It has been a while since we have had a legitimate - makes everything better - type actor in the horror genre. I mean Bruce Campbell is the king ... but we've had a few contenders... crispin glover (seriously watch Simon Says or Willard and then challenge me on it - you can't - you can not dammit lol)... Jeffery Combs... But Nicolas Cage... a freaking oscar winner... descending into the genre fare with the reckless abandon we all love...

Oh. Baby. Oh baby oh.

We have ourselves something here. Mandy ... Mandy was just a blood soaked bit of awesomeness... Did I review that? Not sure... consider this a review - watch MANDY. And now here we have the returning Richard "I made the best terminator rip off horror film ever - hardware" Stanley returning to the directors chair after.... what two plus decades... to helm an HP LOVECRAFT horror flick... starring Nic cage rage himself.

Yes. JUST YASSSSSSS.

Ok your story goes... Meteor lands on Nicolas Cage's farm. Starts affecting things. Including the water. And the Cage family starts going loco... and go.

So first I wanna state upfront... I am not a LOVECRAFT fan. Before you all pop them tighty whiteys on me... I have read all his stories... I mean all... and they are over wordy (because you were paid by the word back then) and often depressing as all hell... and well generally I just find them boring. Though I will say Packman's' model - is pure brilliance. That story still gives me chills.

Do you think I'm pretty? Ya you do. Creepy pretty. 

That said, I have nothing but respect for the man's legend, and following. As well as the influence he has had on the genre of horror. I have enjoyed a ton of films "Based on" his stories. Reanimator being one of my favs... (although - and prepare your pitchforks - I like "Bride" better). So I was optimistic heading into a couch session for this one. Some really good talent on both sides of the camera... and some decent source material - and WOW. What we have here is my first official Horror surprise of the year.

Look. If you don't get the appeal of Nicolas Cage - this film probably isn't for you because the man goes off. With some of the best line delivery I have seen in forever. I mean ALPACAS play a role i the film... first that should defs sway  you immediately - second... some of the lines he delivers involving ALPACAS while maintaining a defining seriousness... you just can't teach that. The man is legend.

The whole cast is awesome here. Including the dog. The descent the family takes... is just painful to watch because you genuinely like them. And that is key, right? No one will care about dead fake movie people if one does not care about the well being of said fake movie people.

The effects are used very damn well. There was one scene with a ... I dunno what you would call it - light person - playing at the edges of a flashlight beam... and it was just a great example of how less is more. The lighting is a huge part of this film... and as a HUGE gaillo fan I loved all the neons and pinks... however... one of the best examples of the lighting is the Cop lights at one point in the film. Just watch that blues sliding over the scene.... and I just nodded and looked to my friend and said...

"Yup. That's damn good"

I honestly... don't know that a photo could sum this movie up any better. 

Its a small detail but its those little things that tell you this director has each shot so under control that nothing is forgotten.

This film legit made me jump - twice. Impressive. But then factor in some truly grotesque make up (with a nice image to "The THING") and you have a really, really fun horror story before you have even gotten into everything else.

Man. I want cage in everything. The man has found a home and we - the horror loving nerds - have embraced him. Give this man a mask and a stabbing device and lets get him a slasher franchise haha.

I will say... I didn't mind the ending... but... and I'm trying hard not to spoil anything as always. But. Why can't horror ever just have an uplifting ending? I mean really... when is the last time a horror film ended with warm fuzzy?

Think about it. I did. And I don't remember one... not a single one... that didn't just mess people up and roll to credits. And yes, I know its LOVECRAFT... and yes this film's ending is not a complete downer... in fact its better than most. BUT. I want a happier end dammit. I'm tired of liking families... and characters, and animals haha... only to have it all ripped away without so much as a parting gift.

ONE LINE REVIEW: Pink is the new awesome.

Horror movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Movies Scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Hopefully this is the start of a great year in horror... Maybe we'll finally get a new Jason film? Oh wait... not one can stop suing each other.

Till next Booniacs !!

- CBB

Chuck the CRITICS! - Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Dear haters.... you have been terminated...

YAY its another episode of Me vs the internet. I thought we were friends dammit. I thought the internet was a place for nerds and you know.... regular humans, to bond over their love of all things genre and weird and awesome... you know... like ROBOTS FROM THE FUTURE SHOOTING STUFF....

Sigh.

Ok  - look we need to get something out of the way. Right Hurrrrrr. I have brought up many times on this site that at my core I love movies. I can love a bad movie, a big budget movie, a silly movie, a political film, a film with a message... any thing. There is some much to love in the art form... sweet hell someone needs to tell the internet.

This movie might be the best example I have seen of unregulated net hate (OK Star wars takes the cake... but that review is coming up). All I heard for weeks was this film was "WOKE" trash... and SJW garbage. And honestly if you don't know those terms ... just don't... don't google it... don't investigate - just live in ignorant bliss. Because, sweet hell the online wars happening over the catch phrase terms "de jour".

And well the film-makers brought it on themselves didn't they. By putting it into the interviews, and the soundbites, that this film was about strong females, and empowering women... etc. WHICH SHOULDN'T BOTHER ANYONE if I'm keeping it real (I know people argue its not the message its how the message is delivered - but pretty much the same things folks lol). Man can save the world. Woman can save the world. In fact you could argue a woman had just as much to do with the fate of the world - SARAH CONNOR... as her son JOHN did. Period.

99% sure this pose wasn't in movie. However. How is there no explosion behind them? Pose fail. 

But this is the new thing... the new hot topic in hollywood... and they are just determined to force people into these conversations. And cool - if the world wants to have them - have them. Some have been a long time coming, and some people should reassess their intent before the regurgitation of non-verified secondhand opinion. There - my 1.5 cents.

But this is a MOVIE and all that should matter is whether or not it is a good one. Not how someone somewhere decided to market the damn thing. Thats the divide here people... before a movie even drops now you have 118 (approximately) youtube sites dropping hate on the film based on 30 second interviews... and three lines of highlighted website (that has 96 views)... BUT - that doesn't have anything to do with the film. This is the publicity campaign... this is how they are deciding to market films... because hate or no hate... someone somewhere still believes online traffic of any kind will be beneficial to the film. Well. Hopefully they catch on soon. Cause - ya not the way that works yo.

AND I AM HERE TO TELL YOU BOONIACS... besides the opening 5 minutes which took me roughly 37 minutes to get over... ok... dammit... still not fully over it... this movie was a blast.

Because you see internet... this isn't about whether a man save the world or a woman... its about saving the whole freaking race from machines. You stop raging on trailers and spitting gender hate all over the net. We have a future in peril. We have some kick ass characters, and some of the best over the top action I have seen in a while....

Dammit Arnold... this is not how you hug. How many... sigh... fine. I'll show you. 

Ok. Wow... I am angry dammit... thats what this is because I let the internet talk me into thinking this movie was gunna be trash. And we... all you self proclaimed lovers of film peeps... should be ashamed.

Your plot. TERMINATOR 2 happened... judgement day was avoided... but computers still found a way and now history is repeating itself with a new human hero. Time travel. Killer Robot - augmented human sent back to protect a Mexican Woman, and SARAH Connor complete with hardcore terminating terminator ways.

And go.

Ok again... I mean anyone in theatre... sweet Hell was that opening bad. I mean how did they expect people to react to that. If you had just set that opening scene midway into the movie... maybe after a certain meeting.... hmmm.....hmmmm.... you could've dulled the blow. By a freaking time travelling mile... but no you had to straight crap on anyone terminator loving fan right out of the gate...

James Cameron was involved with this. Tim Miller was involved with this. Who let that happen?! WHOOOOO!??? It would be almost impossible for anyone reeling from that opening 5 minutes to pull themselves back together... because the movie has already said you like Terminator 1 and 2 - well screw you buddy!

(Takes breath)

But....

BUT. After that... my goodness is this a fun flick. Yes. Arnold returns. And he's different... but... did I mind - no. In fact it plays up what his line was capable of learning - in line with T2, where he begins to perhaps care for JOHN. So to the internet... really that is the hill you are gunna die on. Arnold evolved.

ENOUGH.

2. Anyone that says this film doesn't have action, and that that action isn't some sound system destroying awesomeness ... I think I was actually out of breath at one point. This film winded me... touched me in my lungs without consent.

If terminator was about an indestructible force... and humanities determination to fight in the face of that inevitability... than this film delivers in spades. And though I found the concept of a machine that didn't know it was human.... (Terminator: Salvation) to be a really interesting exploration of the machines evolution... and choice. This film provides some very interesting takes of its own. I really enjoyed Arnold in this.

This film was apparently meant to kick off a new trilogy. And now... thanks to everyone tanking this film... there will be no more. Well, thankfully no cliff hanger ending. I mean open ended sure... but they all have been. Well... Mostly.

This was a machine 1 explosion per 30 seconds of screen time - blast.

ONE LINE MOVIE REVIEW: Keep ya world hate out my exploding robot movies! 


Sci fi scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Movie scale 3.5 stars out of 5 stars

HAPPY 2020 universe...
trust.. yes some films go to the bad place (the CRAP! section of this here website)... but I will never hate a film because of what anyone says or does in the promotion and production of a film. I will sit and watch a thing...and den - type feelings resulting from that action after.

#terminator
#TerminatorDarkFate
#MoreRobotMoviesPlease

Boonsweet out !!

Bloodline (2018)

Dexter takes a drive...

Have you watched Dexter? Have you also watched the fun little splash of awesome that was DRIVE? Ok if you haven't, Imma do something I don't normally do... go now and watch both. Two episodes of DEXTER... and the movie DRIVE starring Ryan Gossling (directed by Mr. I sacrifice my audience for art - Winding Refn - or however that is spelt - ahhhhh Im still so grudged over ONLY GOD FORGIVES).

Then watch this... it's a near perfect fusion.

If you have watched both those things... then imagine that mix... and add Sean William Scott aka STIFLER... and you have this movie. And I mean all those things as a compliment.

This is a damn fun time.

Your story goes... Sean Scott aka Evan... a new father... a happily (?) married man, and a school counsellor, in his spare time has a hobby. He kills the people that abuse the children he sees as part of his job. And let there be blood. Lots of blood.

Simple and sweet. BLOODLINE is on the Character study side of the genre... following a killer we strangely like (I mean he's killing bad guys right?!) through his everyday, from new parent... to killer of parents. A lot rides on a lead actor in a film like this... and Sean nails it. Evan is a strangely likely and intriguing character so we don't really mind him as an audience... we understand we are just along for the ride. This isn't really a bring your conscience along for the ride kind of movie... this is a fly on the wall for murder type of film.

And I dug it.

There there... tell me how you feel. Because. Feelings. Matter. 

First, the whole vibe of the film is arthouse... but good arthouse (DRIVE) unlike the bad "we do what we want and screw the audience" arthouse (NEON DEMON, ONLY GOD FORGIVES). The colors, and music, and shot selection are all perfect within that presentation... and at moments... only certain ones... the film, and it's written/director managed to invoke from classic Argento feels... and that is a high compliment in my horror handbook.

There are a couple of fun twists here... and a perfect example of how a strong script can turn a plain scene into something you can't look away from (Take notes KILLER SOFA). There is one conversation in particular with one victim that was just so well acted and written... the contrast between Evan and the victims emotional state and presentation was just about perfect.

There was almost one delicious twist... that really brought everything together for me. Reinforcing the fact that we are not meant to feel one way or the other... this is a film to be enjoyed as the ride it is. Lights flashes... music pulsing, and a human deconstructing... or evolving...

Stifler.

A character so interlaced with an entire generation,  it will be with the actor for life haha... fine. But this guy can act... Lethal Weapon the TV series (granted they never should've killed off Riggs... sigh) had a weak second season... but not due to Sean William Scott's involvement... he was great in the show. GOON - another great vehicle for him... look.. the guy can straight up act. Hear he plays with restraint and conflict in some great camera-doesn't-look-away close ups, that really made me smile.

Good on you Stifler... Where's the pie sex guy huh!??? Nowhere that's where and you are art housing up some violence all over my horror loving screen.

Look. There are a couple flaws... some slow parts that lag because the energy of the kill scenes just makes everything else... feel snail like. The mother character... though interesting in the flashbacks... is not really a smooth fill in the current timeline. And the Cop... well. Ya. Like I said it's not perfect. But perhaps some of the most realistic statements about parenthood, and new parenthood in particular...

Spliced with some truly interesting killer/victim chat...

and gore.

Some one bring me a warm pie, I am too excited!

ONE LINE REVIEW: Serial synth killer track... bruh. 

Horror scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars.

And the horror movie keeeeeeeeeeep coming.

BOONSWEET is on to the next one!

#Bloodline

Killer Sofa (2019)

Furniture... to make your 92 year old grandma proud.

Well... the leaves are falling... Christmas is calling... colder weather - is well - kinda taking it's sweet time where I'm at... But - ITS HALLOWEEN season... and that means it's horror movie time. One of my fav traditions of life... Well my life. The life of a horror obsessed (with love for all genres mind you) fan. When I dive into all the horror I can for a month... Old favourites, younger classics, and a bunch of new... hopeful creations.

And thats the thing about the horror genre... it doesn't take much.. to create a real freaking gem. And every year... whether a 30 year old lost gem I just now discovered (Oh man is BRAIN DAMAGE good)... or a new school entry I just love (TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN remake/reboot)... there will always surely be new films joining my all time collection....

SO is KILLER SOFA... one such entry...

No.

Sadly no.

Ok... plot. Which I mean... is pretty limited. A recliner (so not even a freaking SOFA!!) is possessed by a demon - creature - ancient thing - and inside the house of a young woman... starts messing with her... and offing randoms with a malice that would please the star trek Jobber.

I mean that really is all there is to this movie.

And let me explain. Oh man, did this movie have possibility. First the sofa... (cough) RECLINING CHAIR!! Is fantastic looking. Strange and plush and creepy. I loved it right from the start. It was just cool enough looking to get me excited to see the carnage it would unleash.

But there is one HUGE problem with KILLER SOFA. One unavoidable issue... they play it straight. Completely straight. And in doing so make it almost unbelievably boring. I can imagine what the writer and director were going for. Listen the story is so ridiculous, if we play it straight, it will come across as tongue in cheek and everyone will laugh and have a blast. 

Ted?! You're cheating on me with a freaking teddy bear... that really presses my cushions

Ok good plan, in theory. Except. Your script here isn't clever or fun enough to make the dead pan delivery from the actors work. And even more unforgivably... I mean so much so it causes me real mental pain... no one gets eaten by this couch. Sorry SOFA... Sorry recliner. Dammit. The point is... look at that poster... scroll up... drink that poster in...

You will see no teeth in this movie. And hence, you will so no human being devoured by that giant chair mouth. Yup. The poster for a movie hasn't lied this bad since SCREAM told us it starred Drew Barrymore. Did you decide to buy this movie, rent this movie, whatever, because you wanted to watch a chair stand itself up and whip someone with an iron? NO. WAIT. I did not mean to make that sound cool. It's not.

There is almost no gore in this movie... or action... or killing... Its essentially... chair pose... good looking actress... lines changed... chair pose... good looking actress lines exchanged. Sigh. There is so little here and I wanna explain...

IT COULD'VE BEEEN AMAZING. This dead pan delivery with a BRUCE CAMPBELL like awareness of the material... or at least one character tossed in that just went off the wall with it to play off the others. Or maybe six solid gore blasted scenes of SOFA (recliner) related massacre.

Men. The competition has gotten... inanimate. 

There is one great scene with a self love... chair love... type thing... Let me tell you... little things... like if half way through this movie she had actually had sex with a chair?! I mean how hard is it?! It's not that hard....

And I'm not just talking about the SOFA folks (OOoooooooo - wink wink).

Just another indie, that could've but will be loss in the mass of the genre faster than most know it was there. A real shame. Because... it was there. All the makings of a B movie cult classic. Why this script and film were shot so boringly straightforward... I will have no idea. One shot of a human being eaten blood spraying everywhere... and then the actress losing herself to passion with the SOFA... and I would be buying the "80$ with SOFA figure 4K" edition.

As it is... you'll probably have it on SHUDDER in a few weeks/months...

ONE LINE REVIEW: My couch is better.

Horror movie scale 1.5 out of 5 stars
Movie scale 1.5 out of 5

Now with that score you might be asking yourself why this did not make the CRAP! segment... well at the end of the day, this film did not horribly offend me as a person or horror fan. IT was just poorly executed. But the sheer chance promise it had... excluded it from harsher judgements.

Till next Booniacs ... stay tuned! Many more reviews for your halloween horror season on the way.

Chuck B is out!

#KillerSofa

Chuck the CRITICS! - Green Lantern (2011)

Gather round the LED 4k fire... from your fav masterfilmator (is that a word? - is now!) ... This segment is where I find films that the internet at large, and all them shiny and surprisingly well compensated mainstream critics hate (and smalltime wannabe hate), and prove perhaps... No battle, for these films that were crushed and left for dead before the public at large could even give them a chance. Now don't get me wrong, some films deserve hate (see my CRAP! segment) but we are a hate first society. Medi-ogres, Meh-heads, and just plain old HATERS. Because hating is just fun. And we like it. Well, you ever been watching a critics youtube playlist and thought to yourself - Man, does this person even like movies? Well, I do. So I will bravely fly into the face of the hate abyss, and try, despite the forces allied against me, to find hope... in the darkness... (Yay! Grab your chips)

Oh man. 

This is gunna fire up some net nerds, and set off some couch potato canons... but it has to be said. GREEN LANTERN IS NOT A BAD MOVIE. In fact. IT'S ALMOST AWESOME. There I said it. Now I don't think I have ever reviewed this film. And part of me that is because like a lot of people at the time of release, I walked out of the theatre pretty underwhelmed. Now, I still found things to like, but this was smack in the middle of the early days of the superhero movie - AND I'M A FREAKING DC GUY - and I wanted this to be awesome. I remember running around my house in my childhood days with a cardboard green lantern ring I had made and taped to my finger. 

I remember when Green Lantern Hal Jordan's home city was destroyed by the Cyborg superman. I remember him becoming Parallax and destroying the green lantern corps. I remember a young kid called Kyle taking over the ring and battling him, powerless, after the justice league had been destroyed... I ... Ok. You really, don't need to know any of that. Point is, I liked me some green lantern. And I liked me some Ryan Reynolds. SO I was pretty sure it would be awesome. 

SO you have a huge budget film that managed to have some of the worst green screen moments ever, in the history of superhero films (though, look if we are all being honest, it still happens - in example Black Panther had some weak moments, that train track showdown anyone?). And I remember thinking, the villain was kind of weak, and their didn't seem to be a lot of action... 

BUT. BUT. Hindsight is 20/20 right? I know sayings and stuff. We have now had a multitude of superhero successes and less thans to compare this too, and now, man, did I have fun re watching this flick. 

Hug? ... Come on... HUG!

1. This was the extended version I found in some bin in probably mid 2012 that I had yet to watch (extra 12-15 minutes of footage).

2. RYAN REYNOLDS really is an awesome Hal Jordan. The humour, the confidence, the real likability - its all there. 

3. Black Lively is awesome as the love interest - in fact she has one of my all time favourite lines from any hero flick ever - it involves cheekbones. 

4. Yes, some of the effects are rough, but not that many. In fact, in this age of fancy TVs at home, I thought most held up well.

5. The villain is actually pretty well developed. There is one scene in particular when he is lying besides Reynolds that I thought was a particularly well realized scene. 

6. Angela basset as AMANDA WALLER! Yup. And I bet you she was gunna get her Nick Fury cross movies role on had this film panned out. 

7. It's slow at times... but this is a true origin story, and I really had no problems with that. 

8. The glowing costumes, now having watched justice league (both TV shows) many times, honestly they glow. The costume glows. Could it have been handled a little better - sure -  But its really not that bad. In fact it looks pretty cool most of the time. 

9. GREEN LANTERNS! Yes I know everyone wanted more lanterns in here - me too. And I know the training montage and him just rolling into his roll move really fast - but reference #7... this is more about his origins as a man, and the path to being a hero, than what the ring does. And if you have (or ever do) read the Geoff Johns green lantern run you will see - that is more Hal Jordan and more true to his character than near any big screen superhero flick. 

10. Its fun. It's really really fun. 

Yes the film is over CGI'd... but honestly... is that even a complaint nowadays? I mean INFINITY WAR anyone? It's just the way of the multibillion dollar films now... and I think that helps when rematching this film, it simply doesn't seem as jarring visually because you have seen so many variations of the full green screen, CGI main characters doing stuff. 

Part of the reason I do this segment... is people hate things without watching them. They hate music without listening to it. That is a dangerous place to be - no critic - not even ME! (takes a moment to soak in the acclaim) should ever deter you from experiencing a film. Even my CRAP! Segment is meant for truly poor films... but maybe that inspires your curiosity - so be it! Do it. I have chatted about this GREEN LANTERN with people and heard them actually say - Ah that movie sucks, heard Ryan Reynolds didn't even want to be in it... 

Then when questioning them... realized - they had never seen the movie, and they were basing that statement on his comments in DEADPOOL.

For shame. This is the golden age of comics on the big (and small) screen, and I think this film is right there middle of the pack. Its not great, the flaws are there (I know I know, more sinestro, and that - learn what you're doing part - really is breakneck speed)... but a decent story, some really good actors and some real GREEN LANTERN ring action make for a great time. 

This will definitely be a film I rematch... many times. 

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Superhero movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars. 

Till next... remember dear Booniacs... fight the film hate! Whether you liked it or did not, for all things sacred remember - WE ALL WOULDNT BE HERE READING THIS REVIEWS - PAYING 10$ FOR POPCORN - WATCHING YOUTUBERS TRASH STUFF - IF WE DIDN'T LOVE MOVIES. 

Boonsweet reminding all... 

He's a lover... 

That will always fight... the good fight... 

-CBB

Hellboy (2019)

THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS...

HELLBOY ... where to begin. Well lets do some history here, right put down the cells, put out the notepads and pencils (do kids even still use pencils in school?) and lets all turn to chapter one, page one... and then there was HELLBOY. A cool foul mouthed, attitude filled child of Hell that chooses to fight for good, with a big stone hand, ever growing horns, and a big handgun.

The stuff of comic Legend! And then Way back in the not-so-long-ago... a Director by the name of THE GUILLERMO DEL TORO created a pretty dang awesome big screen version anchored by the crazy good performance of Ron F yes Perlman as the title character. Then the sequel came out a week ahead of "The Dark Knight" and was all but forgotten about at the box office... and now not that long after we have a spiderman like reboot... with a fraction of the budget, a fraction of a fraction of the heart... and well... here we go...

Your plot... Evil Queen gets resurrected and decides to conquer the world for Monsters and has her sites set on HELLBOY To rule besides her. Or under her. Or behind her. Sex? Not sure. Anyway. Thats it.

Well, this kaka sure as HELL (heh) aint my fault

Ok. This is not a bad movie. I mean its not good but its not horrible. The problem really is as simple as this... well ok it's two things. 1. Catering to Comic fans is awesome, in fact IT SHOULD HAPPEN MORE, however when you simply put things to put them in, without restructured them to fit a film narrative, you are asking for a disconnect to happen. And it does. It doesn't matter how much I felt things like - I bet thats right form a comic... it didn't help the fact that it didn't work on screen together.

I will give you an example... one of the secondary characters communicates with the dead by essentially puking up their insides that then form a floaty gut like representation of the dead person she is chatting with. Now, I bet you that looks great in a comic book, in fact without looking into it at all (so I could be wrong) I bet that is exactly what it looked like in the comic. But when you have a small budget (a preview of my second issue) perhaps crap CGI floating intestines is not the best way to go. You could say have this character puke up a black pile, that pools - in practical - then have the dead character rise up out of this pool in some practical representation of their dead selves... and boom. No expensive CGI needed and you have a waaaaaaaay better looking scene.

Hollywood call me - I'll fix you.

Hopefully that made sense.

Problem #2. The aforementioned budget. I heard this film had a 50 million dollar budget. Ok not every film needs the 300 million of a marvel flick - BUT - if that is what they were getting... someone had to sit down and rewrite this script. Period. The set pieces asked for by the script simply could not be down justice with that budget. Some of the scenes are downright BBC TV level. That is not against the director or the tech wizards that i'm sure worked their asses off here... they simple were trying to kill seventeen birds with one stone.

The HELLBOY this time around is portrayed as kind of a pissed off adolescent, which isn't a bad choice per say... but when you but almost no backstory into this flick - because you figure your audience will somehow be up on all things hell boy - it makes it hard to connect with the dynamic. I mean but main sub characters in this film have a kid you not a 30 second backstory.... it's rare for me to say this but... you needed more story here, and less plot. HELLBOY is a dark, cool, and sometimes emotional, fantasy tale... trying to repackage it as a B action movie... was another poor choice.

I honestly didn't even remember these characters names after the movie ...

Like I said it's fun. It's not horrible. I don't want to tell you do not see this. I think it's a decent time. In fact my Brother said after the movie: "I didn't hate it, but I won't remember anything about it by the end of the month".

And that really does sum in it up. In todays world of spectacle films fighting for your money every weekend... it just does nothing to stand out. And I for one was BUMMED. I love this character. I enjoyed the actor playing him. But everything about this film, as a finished project, feels "Meh".

ONE LINE MOVIE REVIEW: WHELMED. 

Movie scale: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Fantasy/comic scale 2/5 out of 5 stars. 

I think I'll just stick to the original film for my future Hellboy Televised needs.

Till next BOONIACS!

#Hellboy
#Hellboy2019review

-CBB