Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (2020)

A title change... and a whole lot of internet rage...

So. Let me say first off... there are Millions and Millions of people... aka the vast majority that understand a bad movie is just that. However, there is a growing movement in hollywood to label films in some progressive light - for example - this film is about empowering a gender... and then when it fails... they reference that as the reason... So there is a small group of movies, that are almost "Fail" proof, because people just nod and go - it wasn't your fault - society.

Now. As I said. Most people understand - bad movie is bad movie. However, I have read some posts explaining things like "It's so sad that men aren't ready to support strong women" or my fav "This film wasn't sexy enough for men to invest I guess, sad statement on society".

I read comics. I love comics. I read books. I watch all things. And I've been trying to find a way to explain this movie to non comic fans... because everyone complaining on line - well first - from the box office results, most of you didn't see the film and 2. I know you haven't read the comics. So for once - a rare moment - I want to comment on the source material.

TITANIC ... most of you have seen Titanic... Diamond. Rose. Leo floating on a board. Imagine they remade that movie tomorrow. And the story was essentially the same... except - it was now in the future, the TITANIC was a spaceship, and Leo's character was now a 320 pound man with thinning hair. At the end of the move, he lived and Rose is the one that died. Imagine walking out of the theatre and saying to your friend "Well, I mean it was ok, but I didn't really like what they did with the characters, or I mean - why the F was it a spaceship?"... and after you said that someone jumped out from around the corner and said - HA IT'S CAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE MEN.

Does that make any sense to you? Does this analogy work?

Let's try one more... TWILIGHT... gets remade this weekend. You gather your friends because you remember this film from your childhood... and you are stoked, and a little scared, you see what a new version looks like. You go to the movie... and now instead of sparkling vampires, its actually a zombie love story... and it's called twilight because at twilight is when these zombies rise to attack the living... Only Edward... now named EDDIE see's Bella and decides maybe she is worth loving and not eating... Oh and his skin sparkles once... buts its done during this fireworks scene just because the writer/director thought it would be a cool call out... and while walking out of the theatre... you turned to your friend... and say "Wow, who the hell decided to change it to zombies, that was dumb... and why did they call him Eddie, what the hell"... and then someone jumped our from around the corner and yelled - HA IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE STRONG WOMEN.

There.... thats the best I can do to explain to you. If you don't get it fine. If you do and you wanna say - well ok thats just you, not all men - listen you can spin it however you want. I just wanna talk about a movie instead of engaging in internet warfare and explain - my love or hate of this movie would never, ever, have had anything to do with women... and everything to do with things like...

The left - super awesome ninja cassandra kane... right... punk street kid - that... steals things?

BATGIRL... raised my a guild of ancient assassins... is now a short... overweight kid that pick pockets. And is also not batgirl... and... Huntress dresses like a reject from a MC hammer video... and is also kinda dumb because she ... what... hasn't been in the world or something for long? That part is not really explained... any way ok... long intro...

YOUR STORY GOES... Harley Quinn... leaves the joker. Pisses off a mob guy, and with Huntress, and Black Canary... and well not Cassandra Kane (aka useless kid that takes a diamond) and a cop Renee, will rise up and challenge the gangland authority.

Ok. I can't - I'm going back to batgirl... Cassandra... WHAT - WHY - she was literally one of the strongest most badass women in the entire DC universe. If anyone wanted females front and centre... she would've been the one. Or even to use her as a non batgirl... and leave the door open for her growth into the Batgirl character... especially since Huntress has dabbled with the Bat family as well.

Also... birds of prey... MORE BATGIRL STUFF... is led by Oracle... aka the Batgirl that was shot by the joker. Is she any where... the leader of the Birds of Prey... the actual main character (arguably) of the whole comic. Someone with a built in connection to Harley's Ex? Nope. She's just gone. I mean the sheer insulting nature of the approach to this movie... as I said... reference those two examples I left. I doubt it fully inspires the level of my disbelief at how insanely - just dismissive - this film is of everything I loved from the comics... just to have a flimsy story to prop up Harley Quinn... and course how could you under stand... you didn't have to sit through Zombie Eddie.

Sigh.

Ok. That said. The movie is fun. Ya ya I know. But.

Really I mean it. Despite my deep Batgirl related sadness. There are some truly cool action scenes...

I laughed. I smiled. I ate pop corn and drank a beer in a theatre - which always makes me feel good. The action scenes for the most part are actually really fun. The actors, all of them, do the best they can with the material. Though, outside of Harley, most have pretty limited lined to work with.

Sigh. I just... ahhhhhhhhhh... I can't stop.

Which begs the question - why not just call this movie HARLEY: Single and Crazy... and have the same story... without completely destroying a comic book in the process. Just have a street kid steal a diamond the bad guy wants, and a bunch of new characters get behind Harley to help. You could've had the exact same movie... exact same... and I wouldn't have to think to myself - why does every one that made this movie think - I A GUY THAT LOVES BIRDS OF PREY... a guy that was pumped to see they characters they decided to bring to screen - am a useless pile of crap that doesn't matter in the least.

If birds of prey doesn't matter... don't buy the rights, and make a movie called that you damn jerks. It's like you are daring me to hate your movie... well challenge accepted.

Now, this is key... As a movie... if you ignore all the comic stuff (ya - in a comic movie - ignore the comic stuff) its a decent face paced fun movie. Ewan McGregor is having a blast as the villain, and does have many great scenes... including an uncomfortably menacing scene that was unexpected with the tone of the movie. Harley is always a blast.. Margot Robbie is just ... pretty much Harley... I think they missed a chance to really explore her calm and caring side... something that adds a real dimension to her in the comics. But as DC's female Deadpool-ish... she is bang on.

Violence, and drugs, and pet Hyenas. The movie is fast and colourful, and fun. I think there will be a lot of people that really dig this. My own brother told me this was his fav DC film. And cool. As I said, if you watch this with no idea, I think you can have a real good snack worthy time here. If you are a real comic fan.... theres some real rough spots. And for me the issue is... much like with SUICIDE SQUAD... its fun... but I don't need it in 4K on my shelf. For me when I compare it to films like - WONDER WOMAN, AQUAMAN, JOKER, MAN OF STEEL, SHAZAM... its not even close to my fav. But who knows... find it for 5-10$ in a bin... i might.

OH SWEET HELL BATGIRL!!!

WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

ONE LINE MOVIE REVIEW: Bad for your comic loving heart. Good for popcorn.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Comic movie scale 2.5 out of 5 stars

I've said it before about DC... I appreciate that they really take risks... or at least accidentally take risks. Unlike Marvel ... where every movie (and I'm talking disney not Sony here) is a perfectly mixed blend of humour and heart and 2 action set pieces... DC... I just never know what I'm gunna get... and I get excited for the unknown. Even when it cuts me... so deep.

I am glad comic movies are being made. But screen writers need to put down their egos... and just write the comics. There is a reason they have been around for 30 years (birds of prey) and this movie will be forgotten in a year. Or a week. Or already.

- CBB

Chuck the CRITICS! - Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Dear haters.... you have been terminated...

YAY its another episode of Me vs the internet. I thought we were friends dammit. I thought the internet was a place for nerds and you know.... regular humans, to bond over their love of all things genre and weird and awesome... you know... like ROBOTS FROM THE FUTURE SHOOTING STUFF....

Sigh.

Ok  - look we need to get something out of the way. Right Hurrrrrr. I have brought up many times on this site that at my core I love movies. I can love a bad movie, a big budget movie, a silly movie, a political film, a film with a message... any thing. There is some much to love in the art form... sweet hell someone needs to tell the internet.

This movie might be the best example I have seen of unregulated net hate (OK Star wars takes the cake... but that review is coming up). All I heard for weeks was this film was "WOKE" trash... and SJW garbage. And honestly if you don't know those terms ... just don't... don't google it... don't investigate - just live in ignorant bliss. Because, sweet hell the online wars happening over the catch phrase terms "de jour".

And well the film-makers brought it on themselves didn't they. By putting it into the interviews, and the soundbites, that this film was about strong females, and empowering women... etc. WHICH SHOULDN'T BOTHER ANYONE if I'm keeping it real (I know people argue its not the message its how the message is delivered - but pretty much the same things folks lol). Man can save the world. Woman can save the world. In fact you could argue a woman had just as much to do with the fate of the world - SARAH CONNOR... as her son JOHN did. Period.

99% sure this pose wasn't in movie. However. How is there no explosion behind them? Pose fail. 

But this is the new thing... the new hot topic in hollywood... and they are just determined to force people into these conversations. And cool - if the world wants to have them - have them. Some have been a long time coming, and some people should reassess their intent before the regurgitation of non-verified secondhand opinion. There - my 1.5 cents.

But this is a MOVIE and all that should matter is whether or not it is a good one. Not how someone somewhere decided to market the damn thing. Thats the divide here people... before a movie even drops now you have 118 (approximately) youtube sites dropping hate on the film based on 30 second interviews... and three lines of highlighted website (that has 96 views)... BUT - that doesn't have anything to do with the film. This is the publicity campaign... this is how they are deciding to market films... because hate or no hate... someone somewhere still believes online traffic of any kind will be beneficial to the film. Well. Hopefully they catch on soon. Cause - ya not the way that works yo.

AND I AM HERE TO TELL YOU BOONIACS... besides the opening 5 minutes which took me roughly 37 minutes to get over... ok... dammit... still not fully over it... this movie was a blast.

Because you see internet... this isn't about whether a man save the world or a woman... its about saving the whole freaking race from machines. You stop raging on trailers and spitting gender hate all over the net. We have a future in peril. We have some kick ass characters, and some of the best over the top action I have seen in a while....

Dammit Arnold... this is not how you hug. How many... sigh... fine. I'll show you. 

Ok. Wow... I am angry dammit... thats what this is because I let the internet talk me into thinking this movie was gunna be trash. And we... all you self proclaimed lovers of film peeps... should be ashamed.

Your plot. TERMINATOR 2 happened... judgement day was avoided... but computers still found a way and now history is repeating itself with a new human hero. Time travel. Killer Robot - augmented human sent back to protect a Mexican Woman, and SARAH Connor complete with hardcore terminating terminator ways.

And go.

Ok again... I mean anyone in theatre... sweet Hell was that opening bad. I mean how did they expect people to react to that. If you had just set that opening scene midway into the movie... maybe after a certain meeting.... hmmm.....hmmmm.... you could've dulled the blow. By a freaking time travelling mile... but no you had to straight crap on anyone terminator loving fan right out of the gate...

James Cameron was involved with this. Tim Miller was involved with this. Who let that happen?! WHOOOOO!??? It would be almost impossible for anyone reeling from that opening 5 minutes to pull themselves back together... because the movie has already said you like Terminator 1 and 2 - well screw you buddy!

(Takes breath)

But....

BUT. After that... my goodness is this a fun flick. Yes. Arnold returns. And he's different... but... did I mind - no. In fact it plays up what his line was capable of learning - in line with T2, where he begins to perhaps care for JOHN. So to the internet... really that is the hill you are gunna die on. Arnold evolved.

ENOUGH.

2. Anyone that says this film doesn't have action, and that that action isn't some sound system destroying awesomeness ... I think I was actually out of breath at one point. This film winded me... touched me in my lungs without consent.

If terminator was about an indestructible force... and humanities determination to fight in the face of that inevitability... than this film delivers in spades. And though I found the concept of a machine that didn't know it was human.... (Terminator: Salvation) to be a really interesting exploration of the machines evolution... and choice. This film provides some very interesting takes of its own. I really enjoyed Arnold in this.

This film was apparently meant to kick off a new trilogy. And now... thanks to everyone tanking this film... there will be no more. Well, thankfully no cliff hanger ending. I mean open ended sure... but they all have been. Well... Mostly.

This was a machine 1 explosion per 30 seconds of screen time - blast.

ONE LINE MOVIE REVIEW: Keep ya world hate out my exploding robot movies! 


Sci fi scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Movie scale 3.5 stars out of 5 stars

HAPPY 2020 universe...
trust.. yes some films go to the bad place (the CRAP! section of this here website)... but I will never hate a film because of what anyone says or does in the promotion and production of a film. I will sit and watch a thing...and den - type feelings resulting from that action after.

#terminator
#TerminatorDarkFate
#MoreRobotMoviesPlease

Boonsweet out !!

Chuck the CRITICS! - Green Lantern (2011)

Gather round the LED 4k fire... from your fav masterfilmator (is that a word? - is now!) ... This segment is where I find films that the internet at large, and all them shiny and surprisingly well compensated mainstream critics hate (and smalltime wannabe hate), and prove perhaps... No battle, for these films that were crushed and left for dead before the public at large could even give them a chance. Now don't get me wrong, some films deserve hate (see my CRAP! segment) but we are a hate first society. Medi-ogres, Meh-heads, and just plain old HATERS. Because hating is just fun. And we like it. Well, you ever been watching a critics youtube playlist and thought to yourself - Man, does this person even like movies? Well, I do. So I will bravely fly into the face of the hate abyss, and try, despite the forces allied against me, to find hope... in the darkness... (Yay! Grab your chips)

Oh man. 

This is gunna fire up some net nerds, and set off some couch potato canons... but it has to be said. GREEN LANTERN IS NOT A BAD MOVIE. In fact. IT'S ALMOST AWESOME. There I said it. Now I don't think I have ever reviewed this film. And part of me that is because like a lot of people at the time of release, I walked out of the theatre pretty underwhelmed. Now, I still found things to like, but this was smack in the middle of the early days of the superhero movie - AND I'M A FREAKING DC GUY - and I wanted this to be awesome. I remember running around my house in my childhood days with a cardboard green lantern ring I had made and taped to my finger. 

I remember when Green Lantern Hal Jordan's home city was destroyed by the Cyborg superman. I remember him becoming Parallax and destroying the green lantern corps. I remember a young kid called Kyle taking over the ring and battling him, powerless, after the justice league had been destroyed... I ... Ok. You really, don't need to know any of that. Point is, I liked me some green lantern. And I liked me some Ryan Reynolds. SO I was pretty sure it would be awesome. 

SO you have a huge budget film that managed to have some of the worst green screen moments ever, in the history of superhero films (though, look if we are all being honest, it still happens - in example Black Panther had some weak moments, that train track showdown anyone?). And I remember thinking, the villain was kind of weak, and their didn't seem to be a lot of action... 

BUT. BUT. Hindsight is 20/20 right? I know sayings and stuff. We have now had a multitude of superhero successes and less thans to compare this too, and now, man, did I have fun re watching this flick. 

Hug? ... Come on... HUG!

1. This was the extended version I found in some bin in probably mid 2012 that I had yet to watch (extra 12-15 minutes of footage).

2. RYAN REYNOLDS really is an awesome Hal Jordan. The humour, the confidence, the real likability - its all there. 

3. Black Lively is awesome as the love interest - in fact she has one of my all time favourite lines from any hero flick ever - it involves cheekbones. 

4. Yes, some of the effects are rough, but not that many. In fact, in this age of fancy TVs at home, I thought most held up well.

5. The villain is actually pretty well developed. There is one scene in particular when he is lying besides Reynolds that I thought was a particularly well realized scene. 

6. Angela basset as AMANDA WALLER! Yup. And I bet you she was gunna get her Nick Fury cross movies role on had this film panned out. 

7. It's slow at times... but this is a true origin story, and I really had no problems with that. 

8. The glowing costumes, now having watched justice league (both TV shows) many times, honestly they glow. The costume glows. Could it have been handled a little better - sure -  But its really not that bad. In fact it looks pretty cool most of the time. 

9. GREEN LANTERNS! Yes I know everyone wanted more lanterns in here - me too. And I know the training montage and him just rolling into his roll move really fast - but reference #7... this is more about his origins as a man, and the path to being a hero, than what the ring does. And if you have (or ever do) read the Geoff Johns green lantern run you will see - that is more Hal Jordan and more true to his character than near any big screen superhero flick. 

10. Its fun. It's really really fun. 

Yes the film is over CGI'd... but honestly... is that even a complaint nowadays? I mean INFINITY WAR anyone? It's just the way of the multibillion dollar films now... and I think that helps when rematching this film, it simply doesn't seem as jarring visually because you have seen so many variations of the full green screen, CGI main characters doing stuff. 

Part of the reason I do this segment... is people hate things without watching them. They hate music without listening to it. That is a dangerous place to be - no critic - not even ME! (takes a moment to soak in the acclaim) should ever deter you from experiencing a film. Even my CRAP! Segment is meant for truly poor films... but maybe that inspires your curiosity - so be it! Do it. I have chatted about this GREEN LANTERN with people and heard them actually say - Ah that movie sucks, heard Ryan Reynolds didn't even want to be in it... 

Then when questioning them... realized - they had never seen the movie, and they were basing that statement on his comments in DEADPOOL.

For shame. This is the golden age of comics on the big (and small) screen, and I think this film is right there middle of the pack. Its not great, the flaws are there (I know I know, more sinestro, and that - learn what you're doing part - really is breakneck speed)... but a decent story, some really good actors and some real GREEN LANTERN ring action make for a great time. 

This will definitely be a film I rematch... many times. 

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Superhero movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars. 

Till next... remember dear Booniacs... fight the film hate! Whether you liked it or did not, for all things sacred remember - WE ALL WOULDNT BE HERE READING THIS REVIEWS - PAYING 10$ FOR POPCORN - WATCHING YOUTUBERS TRASH STUFF - IF WE DIDN'T LOVE MOVIES. 

Boonsweet reminding all... 

He's a lover... 

That will always fight... the good fight... 

-CBB

Shazam (2019)

Electric feels...

NOTE: So 1. Sorry I was gone... I am back. I am sure you all have been lost, in a world without my deep, thoughtful, insightful, entertainment guidance. I have a lot of reviews to get to over the next couple of days. So, raise songs in my name... or continue to stab that voodoo doll in my likeness... do as you will.

To the movie....

And the story goes... 14 year old foster child - a trouble maker with a good heart who just has issues processing the pain of his loneliness - s chosen by an aging wizard to inherit his powers (think superman with a USB charging port). He activates these powers by saying the wizards name - SHAZAM There is however an evil wizard, dude, former child chosen one, that wants the bolt powers all for himself. Along the way Billy Batson will find out perhaps, that family, can mean many different things...

Why water a plant, when you can shock it... ? Leaf it alone... ?

Ok. So full disclosure, if you read my reviews you know I am a huge DC fan... NOW i don't use the term DCEU fan... because though I love the films, they have pooped on the futon a few times. But as far as comics go, I am in that shizzie. And the animated dhows/films, and the old TV shows and new ones... etc, etc.

But, that said, SHAZAM (aka the once upon a time called - CAPTAIN MARVEL), was never high on my list of DC heroes. Although I will say the fight he has with superman in Justice League Unlimited - in fact that whole episode - is amazing. Really captured the idea of a 14 year old superman level character and how that would look against the older, more jaded heroes of the JL. So ya, looking forward to that down the road on the big screen.

However, my blah blah aside. This film made me like shazam. First. This film goes way darker than the trailers suggest. No, not Zack Synder dark - before any bubblegum defenders of the Marvel universe come at me. I think it was intentional to hide the darker aspects of the film in the trailers, because it kinda catches you unprepared. The feels. The real stakes. All of that.

Superman has his takeoff technique.... Billy has his... 

Considering this film is directed by a horror guy, the darker aspects really are rather polished. They balance the over the top joy and fun of a teenage boy being given powers like this looks like. Junk food and beer (that they hate), video games and jokes. I mean would any adult go save the world first with a surprise set of powers? Let alone a young kid? I submit - no.

The film is just a great time. With heart. Zackary Levi (of Chuck fame) is a great fit as the grown man child version of Billy Batson, and though never appearing on screen together (obviously) - I dare say the chemistry (somehow it is felt despite the aforementioned non screen time) and in sync nature of the two actors is a real gem of the film. The foster family he lives with in the film manages to connect with the audience despite some limited screen time. Mark strong as the villain is - unexpectedly - well flushed out as a bad guy.

The whole thing is just bright and explode-y, and giggle friendly. Now this is a major origin story film... so the focus is really on BILLY and his first steps towards adulthood, and, superhero ness. There are great call outs to the DC universe sure, and there is a villain, and a climax and all that - sure, but this is really a "Get to know the character" flick with some great set pieces. And that makes sense, because, SHAZAM's ultimate villain (anti-hero) BLACK ADAM - to be played by the freaking ROCK, is on deck to have his own origin film next year? or 2021?

An interesting idea right, instead of cramming our hero and his best villain into one film we will separate them into two films. Now when you consider there is a 30 minute animated film out there called SHAZAM/SUPERMAN: THE RETURN OF BLACK ADAM... and that film managed to fit both stories into 30 minutes - with 15 minutes of fighting haha... did we really need two films? Probably not, but more screen time for the ROCK justifies his pay check ... and hey, at least its a different approach.

Its not a perfect film alright people... and that at this point seems like a line that pops up in every freaking review everywhere... as if these perfect films exist somewhere haha... there might be a dozen in all of history and certainly no superhero flick (despite the nerds bravehearting it) have been perfect. But its a damn good flick, that comes at you straight from the comics with its heart on its sleeve. Some characters get lost in the shuffle, there is a lack of action (not a bad thing really) it does take a bit to get going. More than enough laughs and feels to look past it.

In closing. We are spoiled punks that get a new 200 million dollar flick every summer month (sometimes twice in a month or three this month, SHAZAM, HELLBOY, and AVENGERS: ENDGAME) but this one is definitely worth your 10-20$. I really hope it doesn't get unceremoniously lost in this crazy summer film lineup.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
superhero scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

ONE LINE MOVIE REVIEW: It will charge your cell, and butter your popcorn. 

Boon sweet out !

Bright (2017)

LORD OF THE RINGS MEETS END OF WATCH... YES. AND YES.

So I think its time as a society we just accept that Will Smith... as an actor (say what you will about his singing - Summertime is still my jam) is one of the ultimate root for good guys. Somehow from almost day one he has been able to get an audience to buy him as the down on his luck forced heroic type... and he has played the character many times... but I for one love it every time. Much like I love Arnold blowing up the terrorist group de jour. Or Willis double fisting hand guns... some peeps just got a groove... and Will... he's the lovable-damn why me- hero type.

Your plot... Modern day Los Angeles in a world where Orcs, Elves, and various other creatures are part of society. Think of it as what if after lord of the rings ended society just kept evolving. Cars, and cell phones, and TVs and orcs and magic right along with them. Well here we are Will Smith - WARD, paired with the first ever Orc cop - Nick... They are gunna have to survive a lot of prejudice, some Orc gangsters and Elves... hell bent on resurrecting a Dark Lord with a magic wand... a rare and powerful thing.

Why, do you keep putting up this wall of mistrust Will... why... 

Director David Ayer has had quite the directing (and writing) career so far. Much of it in the gritty "Real world" of crime and police. For me Street Kings will forever rank as one of the greatest of the genre (criminally underrated) and End of watch - though getting a ton of praise as one of the biggest disappointments (sorry that ending still crap)... and while suicide squad split the public... I would put it somewhere between the two for me... That said... the man is an undeniable talent. Having finished this rather large budgeted Netflix offering, I have to note no one other than David could have pulled this off.

The reviews have been mixed at best, and I'm really not too sure why. 1. Good to great acting... 2. Solid effects and directing... 3. One hell of a bat shit crazy plot... mixed up in a cauldron and boom, a little bit of magic. Maybe its that such a grand scale piece of entertainment was offered up on a streaming service... and that is just unsettling to some people. But hey if you don't like your grand fantasy on the small screen - guess you won't be tuning in for the LOTR series coming to a streaming service near you in the next couple of years... its a thing... look it up...

Also when did action films start having to be oscar worthy? haha I mean I have actually read reviews about Bright being overly silly... It's a movie about an Orc cop and Human cop chasing elves with a magic wand... check ya reality dip stick at the ride people. The fact that the material is handled so violently and seriously is nearly unimaginable. I found myself smiling and enjoying every glorious bit of straight faced insanity. Reviews listing this as Garbage, colossal waste... I mean what? An R rated fantasy cop film... which as near as I can tell... is an absolute first... I mean read the tagline to start this review... you ever seen that? I haven't writing it I had a grin... Sometimes I just feel people have forgotten they used to enjoy movies.

And unlike End Of Watch ... and Suicide Squad (to some extent) Ayer really keeps the ball rolling here... with a pretty fun and satisfying ending. To anyone stating that the "Surprise" at the end was seen coming a mile away... Yes... of course it was... in fact I don't think it was ever meant as a surprise... its stated in the first 15 minutes of the movie... so really if you are upset you saw the reveal coming... sounds like a "You" problem.

Explosions. Elves. Orcs. Gun battles. At least two solid throwdowns, and wand destruction... all wrapped up in a gritty cop drama haha if that doesn't intrigue you... you probably are not reading this review... or any of my reviews for that matter. And hey, its on netflix... you all have it already (unless you're saving your quarters for that incoming Disney one... cue evil music)...

ONE LINE REVIEW: Keep your wand loaded, this one has some magic in it!

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Fantasy/action scale 4 out of 5 stars

Apparently Netflix has already picked this one up for a sequel... I for one am dialled in... Next time I demand a wizard! Stallone the white! Oh wait... Van Damme the white! Yes!

Overall a great piece of fantasy fun for the older members of the Fam...

#Bright #Netlfix #BrightReview

Till next Booniacs....

-Chuck Boonsweet

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Haters gunna hate.

Listen I want to start this review by explaining one very important point: No one really gives a crap what marvel does. Sorry, but its true. You might here a little rumbling here, or there, about casting, or plot changes... But really for the most part, no one cares. Why? Because marvel has essentially grown up within the public as a film entity. Meaning that fans do not identify with the comics, or history, of the characters, but rather the celluloid presentation. Where as with DC... and Batman, and Superman... well thats a different story. I mean my Grandma, who has never cared About seeing any grown man in spandex (her words haha) can tell you Batman and Superman's origin story. They are characters that our burned into the big old fabric couch of our universe.

I remember seeing a shot of a rally in a country half way around the world... protesting the murder of their people... and there in the middle of the clash between a corrupt government and a desperate people was a child wearing a superman shirt... That folks is when a character transcends medium and becomes a message. Did I go deep there? Yes. Am I sorry? No. Because its true. The upcoming Captain America: Civil War... which sees arguably the most famous Marvel Story line ever... completely changed and twisted for the big screen... Has garnered almost no hate from the Nerd-verse... yet it is a bastardization of the source material. But thats OK BECAUSE ITS MARVEL and really, it will probably be a fun flick so who cares...

So maybe the fact that Batman V Superman has divided so many fans is proof of the importance and influence of its characters. As well as why people are just so damned critical of anything that comes from DC (yes you all remember when the net nerds cried bloody freakin' murder with Heath Ledger was cast as the joker... They were totally right on that one ... right? haha silly Haters). But any film concerning these characters feels like an assault, a threat, against our childhood... and well maybe something closer to our core than most would admit.

Ok... look... Lex had hair in the 90s... seriously, screw you Clark!

I waited a while to write this review. And before I do your plot... if you need a plot...

Superman newly revealed to society after the events of Man of Steel has caught the attention of the Batman, as a would be threat to the whole planet. With a wee be of Lex Luthor behind the scenes... the stage is set for Superman to battle both the reaction of a word to him, and all he represents, and Batman's own paranoia and desperation to maintain a control of what he believes is the protection of mankind. Oh. And Wonder Woman is hot and stuff.

Ok. DC stepped up, and dropped wonder woman on us. Was she entirely needed in this film, no, but it was time to bring a female character of her level (sorry, but really who the F cares about black widow) to the big screen. And Gal Gadot nails her from her small role in this film... I for one am stoked for her solo flick.

Ben Affleck, despite having to be a crazed Batman for a portion of this film is a blast, and the batman throw down action causes giddy. Trust, he fills the tights nicely. The cameos in the film to set up the Justice League film... are a little forced, and Aquamans... is well... just awkward... buuuuuuuuut still cool.

Sweet hell did DC and Warner really go for it here, and that is a part of the reasons this film for forever be divisive. First, they had the balls to pull the What would society really think of a Superman type hero, how would we as a people react? A theme that has come up many times in the comics... including the brilliant first 6-10 issues of the New ACTION COMICS story line... in the new 52... and yes i just nerd-ed out there for a moment... I still read comics... so unlike most of you... (and I speak to the haters) I know what I am talking about. Still it is something that has been skipped past in most marvel entries who have just focused on fun... and hey there is nothing wrong with fun... reference my saturday nights... Boom! But what is wrong with a superhero film trying to be something more?

I say nothing.

I have heard critics say everything from There was not enough action... to Non comic fans won't get this movie... Ok to the first point. What!? There is action all through this film... is there a good chunk set aside to build the Lex Luthor villain... and the batman, superman, conflict... yes... and a little Lois Lane in there... But there is a ton of action.. most of the last hour in fact. Balls to the wall. To the second point... Non Comic fans ... the hell are you dumb-asses talking about? These movies are making billions at the box office... the biggest sports apparel company in the world has a superhero clothing line... WE ARE ALL COMIC FANS NOW... and dammit... people are not dumb. I think they can handle it... well unless all they do is read reviews and ignore their inner desire to see something for themselves...

NOTE: Unless it is a film featured in my CRAP! segment in which case I have taken the hit for you... please... for the love of god... do not ever watch any film in my CRAP! segment... for your own well being... that is all.

Is this a perfect film? No. It is a set up for the films to come. There is also the problem of Lex Luthor... Jesse Eisenberg plays him like a cool psycho with style.. and I am sorry, it does not work. There are moments when he gets it... and comes oh so close, and they next thing you know he is all jerky motion, and look at me I'm such a cool evil guy and it doesn't work for the whole film... but there are moments.

The final fight though jaw dropping at some points also loses some of its power with the cut aways to different things going on during the battle. I would've been fine watching them throw down with no interruptions for like 45 minutes... haha... seriously. And heck with this rumoured 3 hour version on blu-ray might just get my chance... whoop whoop.

Also... and even the biggest fan of this film will admit I'm sure they did over stuff this stocking. I understand it, basically trying to set an entire universe up with one film... and it almost works... but there is just a lot going on (one particular dream/vision/future scene is confusing as heck and hell I know all when it comes to this spandex wearing punks) but hey... its a blast, and worth every bit of the money you paid.

I had to put this here, found it online... drink it in folks... cause it is freaking happening!

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Superhero movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

This is a solid first (1.5) chapter of the new DC universe... and although I was a little bummed we did not get a little glimpse of the probable big bad - Darkseid - for the Justice league flick... Still very excited to see where it goes.

One line review: Tights, bright lights, an amazon in a ballgown and one heck of a throw down. 

I will leave on this... my comic shop guy said to me the other day... "You know, I look at it like this... every one of this films would have been the greatest film of my childhood back in the day. You know. So I love them all, its just so damn cool I get to see it" Ya. He's right. We have all been spoiled. And need to indulge that inner child a bit more I think.

#BvS
#ManofSteel
#teamSuperman

Boon sweet out!

The Force Awakens (2015)

SWEET LIGHT SABERS... DID I JUST FEEL THE FORCE?

So here it is. It has arrived and myself was lucky enough to see it in a tiny town... hours before the rest of the world... HA! Boonsweet in your face! Jokes. I heart you all. So I do not do spoilers... (well unless a flick lands in my CRAP! segment) in this case however it is even more important. Not because the film is full of insane twists and turns... but because there are few films on earth these days that have the power to move an entire planet of people. STAR WARS has that power... and I feel, for all my jedi loving ways... THE FORCE AWAKENS delivers.

So the story well, without getting too much into it... A new evil has arisen "The new Order"... there's a new darkside... and man we need to find us some jedi! Enter A spunky, and space sexy 'Rey' played by the soon to universal nerd lusted - Daisy Ridley - and her co star, a storm trooper with a soul Finn. Together with the old gang they are gunna try to rescue the universe from going dark... again....

I didn't do it... I didn't do it... 

K.

So there are going to be a lot of people that love this movie and why not? It is every inch the grandeur of the original trilogy (aka 4,5,6... aka when they said it was FORCE!). Theres a cute funny droid... theres a mask wearing bad guy doing his best darth vader.... There's Han Solo, and Leia, and a certain tall furry creature. There's the bad guys with laser blasters, and good guys with laser blasters... and Light Sabers, and exploding things... and more exploding things... and well... its all here folks. Everything you have been waiting for in a new Star Wars.

Basically disney and J.J. Abrams sat down and said lets give the people what they want.

But therein lies the problem. When you give people what they want they inevitably want more. It has to be said. This film is basically the first trilogy rolled into one, or at least a good chunk of it. Same plot points, same twists, merrily similar moments, homages, they do nothing but try to be a new version of everything you love. I myself did not have a problem with it, because THAT IS WHAT I WANTED. Grand space spectacle of the highest order. And nothing, from the sounds, to the overly heroic plot, can ever be done like they do it with STAR WARS.

But!!

Then I was like screw it, and went chrome bro. 

There will be haters. Yes. Those star wars tattoo'd (i know what George Lucas wanted more than he did) are gunna rise up... the same people that said But its not enough like the original trilogy, its not what we love - so we hate it when the last trilogy came around... are gunna be the same people spearheading the It's too much like the originals, all you did was copy what we loved - so we hate it this time around. I warn you - do not choose the darkside!

This film is entertainment for days! Let free the bruised star wars love of your childhood years! It well be well held and loved... and cared for here... amongst the theatre as THE FORCE AWAKENS.

Ok. I'm stoked. Is it the greatest star wars? No. Of course no. Plus, lets remember the first star wars film is no ones fav... and the second - first - newest - whatever - trilogy, phantom menace was again no ones fav, so this does what firsts in the series have before it. Introduces - hero - bad guy - coolness, and sets up a new journey ahead...

and now with all this homage out of the way... MAN i am pumped to see where this goes... sure if you are clever enough you can already see some familiar threads weaving themselves together... but perhaps... that is all to set us up. Just saying in the next few months all the debating set to explode between the Jedis in all of us... enjoy it! its been way to long. Star Wars is back! But trust me... don't get too smart thinking you know all thats up... there are some twists to come folks...

And this new expanded universe... such be very cool.

Movie scale 4 out of 5 stars
Action/SciFi scale 4 out of 5 stars

One line review: The FORCE is back! 

Chuck B. Boonsweet... is it wrong I want to buy a light saber now... Damn you disney!!

#TheForceAwakens
#STARWARS

Pan (2015)

Pan-tacular!

Folks. Don't buy into the hate! Seriously. I have read all these reviews blasting this movie for being too much like this movie, ripping off that other movie... blah blah. Tired of another "Chosen one" story line. Look. There is basically one formula for the giant Hollywood Blockbuster. Ok maybe two. But the predominant one is simple - extraordinary circumstance + huge budget (aka lots of eye candy) + a chosen one to rise up against the evil bad guy/guys.

Avatar. Pirates of the Caribbean. Star wars lol... I mean if you want to say screw the formula than just stay home and watch Grey's Anatomy (sigh sorry, its a fine show, I just 12 seasons? Come on. Hasn't everyone slept with everyone by now? I digress). This is not a completely original film. Its not something you haven't seen before, and heck, it's probably a film that really didn't need to happen... but does that make it a bad film...

I submit - No.

Your story is .... years before the events of the animated classic Peter Pan, or the less classic non animated Peter Pan... Ya. Anyone remember that... 2003... no I didn't think so. Anyway... years before... aka this is a prequel... we find Peter, an Orphan in a rather unpleasant orphanage, in the middle of WWII in London. Well, one night he and other kids are whisked away (kidnapped) by flying pirates from Neverland. Once there in the mines he meets James Hook (the will be Captain Hook one day) his also finds out he can fly... something the evil Black Beard (played with relish by Hugh Jacked Jackman) finds disturbing as a flying boy is suppose to be the "Chosen one" to rise against him and free Neverland.

So. Pretty much adventure, and fairies and a little romance, and the secret to Peter's origins and boom! Your Movie.

seriously, how can you deny that level of Jackman facial hair... 

Pan is without a doubt top three 3D films I have ever seen. If you are looking for a movie to enjoy the heck out of your 3rd Dimension experience this is the film. Jurassic World was a very fun movie... but really, where the hell was the 3D in that film? This film throws everything at you... even once you settle into the depth, they still hit you with things flying at you (I admit it I dodged some cannonballs) and fairies floating about.

This PAN is pure big budget entertainment, and for my money, worth every penny I spent. The acting is spot on. The effects (apparently unfinished by some reports) seem to hold up well. In fact if you get over the Why the heck is black beard kidnapping kids from a different dimension for his mines? The rest is a good time. Non stop colors, and bright, and fun. And really a film for the whole family. The violence all played off with little more than G levels with certain deaths resulting in explosions of coloured powder... ya weird. But cool.

Newbie Levi Miller, does a great job as a boy simply in search of home... and he handles a few tougher scenes later. I imagine getting emotion while looking at a green wall cannot be easy. The rest of the cast is fun. I think I realized what I was in for from the beginning... entertainment. This isn't a film trying to when oscars... Big explosions, sweeping action set pieces... hell, even a musical number thrown in...

I really don't know why everyone seems to be hating on this. I guess at this point we are all kinda beaten down by the big budget film... so much so that when we get a pure family level one with it's heart on it's sleeve... well, maybe the audience, and critics have just gotten a little too jaded. If this film had come out during the 80s and was all practical... I imagine it would have quite the following. But as it is, perhaps it is destine to be lost to the abyss of non stop 100+ million pictures... as the opening week box offie suggest. A shame, as I thought there was some real family fun to be had here.

I like colors.
I like explosions.
I like 3D fairies.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action/adventure scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

ONE LINE REVIEW: 3D fairy dust covered good times. 

Thank you for reading my brain Booniacs

-Boonsweet

#Panthemovie
#Pan2015

MIssion Impossible (5): Rogue Nation (2015)

Still Cruisin'

Listen. I enjoy Tom Cruise the actor. I'm ok with that. If you are not ok with that I understand. But seriously, this guy is going on decade 4 ... 4! and still having worldwide success. Pretty impressive. You know what else is impressive the MI franchise. Over the years each film has managed to be very unique and awesome, while continuing the series... does that trend continue?

Well, lets start with the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION story. A new super villain/organization has popped up and they seem primed to take down the IMF (Impossible mission force... yes thats silly, but this the 5th film so it doesn't need to be discussed), as well as possibly take over the world. Sigh, world conquering aspirations... you really do have to love you a good super villain. Anyway, while this is going on - Jeremy Renner's - William Brant has to deal with a political movement with the government to disband the IMF force... because wouldn't you know it, it seems people think the IMF is no longer relevant in the new PC world of espionage.

Mario cart - is real. 

So. Villain. Check. Sexy Heroine for Cruise to pine after... Check - Rebecca Ferguson is Ilsa Faust (hey its no Octopussy, but still a good hero chick name) drops into the franchise, and is one of the funnest parts of this film. She can handle the physical and looks great. The "is she bad is she good" angle has been done a 100 times - who cares. Still fun.

Listen I have to say it. And I am sure the argument can be made against me - I welcome your challenge! This is the weakest film in the franchise. There is no way around it. Yes part 2 had it's issues, and part 1 was a slow old school burn... but I think both of those films had something to offer. I think universally 3 or 4 are considered the best (with my own opinion being 3). The thing here is this movie offers absolutely nothing new to the series. Plus the opening hand to hand fight, was rather horrible cut. You gotta set that stage folks!

It felt like UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING where, sure it was a fun movie, but it was obviously filler until they could come up with a better film.

This film tries to feel like the last flick, GHOST PROTOCOL, and that is a problem for me as every film before it was it's own adventure. From the lush slow mo addiction of John Woo's direction, to the hyper intense lens of J.J. Abrams in part 3... and the scope of Brad Bird's part 4... this film just feels like a watered down version of 4. The action seen are good... but not great... the story is good... but not great... the one liners are good... but not great...

Basically ROGUE NATION is just another MI film. The one thing I felt really held this film back is that it is essentially a buddy flick between Cruise's Ethan Hunt and Simon Pegg's Benji Dunn with most of the film focused on them. And the whole Benji is a computer guy oh man look at him so uncomfortable in the middle of all this action, man that's so funny, how uncomfortable he is. Sure it's comical. But it's not that funny. I like both these actors... I like both these characters... but the ensemble needs to be there. Not including Jeremy Renner's character more, was a serious misjudgment.

That said.
That said. A sub par MI film is still above most other big budget action flicks. And the central heist in the flick is a blast. Easily the best part of the film for me. The other solid good point (beside the aforementioned Rebecca Ferguson and Cruise) is the villain. Although, after saying that he is also a fail.

The problem is they don't really get into his motivations. Sure we know the bad guy thinks he's saving the world, and we know he's super bad ass... but really, he gets maybe 6 lines of dialogue that don't involve bitching at or about Ethan Cruise. They really had a chance here, but choose to instead film the film with more Benji and Ethan. I could have done without the entire opening action sequence, to instead give some solid back story and build up for the Villain. As it is by the end he's just a paper cut out for cruise to burn down.

Listen, this good be a wee bit of me being spoiled. Right. You know. Like when you see that kid at the restaurant and he slaps the burger of his plate because he wants his Mom's steak. Ya. Maybe that ol' Boonsweet right now... just years of being spoiled by a Mission Impossible franchise that always delivered. So YES I HAD FUN! I ATE MY POPCORN, and dang-git I will try to be more simple and just enjoy cool exploding things.... and I mean the Cruise stunt riding is nuts in this film... can we call this guy the North American Jackie Chan? I say it's close enough to bring up. Oh and him hanging from a plan 5000 feet off the ground... real. NOT CGI. I repeat - Real.

That's right folks. Real. 

But.
Still the weakest link. I waited a couple weeks to write this review... and I had to really think about any part of this film that stood out as special to me.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Action movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

Terminator: Genisys (2015)

How bad do the machines suck at killing Connors?

So here we have another film that is gonna whip all them fanboys and casual haters into a frenzy. People are gunna tell you its crap... without even watching it. Tell you Arnold should freaking retire... And! Annnnnnnnnnnnnd! They are gunna to say this... and this next one here... oh sweet hell... does it fire ol' Boonsweet up.

They are gunna say: The original is so much better. Always will.

Well, you punk ass haters aka Medi-ogres aka "Meh"-heads. Which original would you be referring to? The original 1984 film? Or the widely accepted to be better, 1992 sequel. Cause if you are telling me that the ORIGINAL sequel is the superior movie... well... you're already half way to wonderland alice.

There. Opening rant done. And really, I can't be mad because I just basked in robot destruction for two hours!

Your story goes... (I refuse to explain anything before this film here) In a last ditch effort in the future, as the machines have finally fallen to the humans, they send a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah Connor - the Mother of the human's resistance leader. The humans, never one to shy away from tampering with time, send a soldier back to protect her. Only when he shows up he finds out that the time lines are @$#%&! and she has a pet/protector/machineDad Arnold "T-800" Schwarzenegger. From there its time hoping and clip emptying action.

Still. Da. Man.

Confession. I love all the other Terminator films. Yes some are better than others... and yes I don't think anyone can Argue the awesomeness of Part 2 aka Judgement Day... however even a less than stellar Terminator film is still what... 8 levels above the next best action Sci-fi flick? I think so yes. I was also, admittedly, in the minority in loving the last film. So if you wanna just walk away from your computer, hands raised in rage... and never read another Chuck Boonsweet blog. I understand. I think you suck. But I understand.

Kidding. Love Bitches.

Ok before I get into what I enjoyed about this film I do want to touch on a few of the drawbacks. First, and I hate to say this, but Alan Taylor, the director, drops the ball here a few times. One scene in particular is shot underground, and feels awkward and very poorly lit. Yes I am complaining about lighting, but ask ya self... how bad does that lighting have to be for Chuck freaking Boonsweet to complain about it? Also the camera has a tendency to shift extremely fast... or find objects shifting across it. during the large action set pieces. Took me out of it a bit. Think the original Transformers and trying to figure out which robot was winning a fight. And yes. If you really want to pull about a 150 million dollar film involving time travel and an alternate future by pointing to timeline inconsistencies... well... go ahead because they are here.

You know... you're right, this is not my bus.

But really, should it matter? It is an alternate timeline... Alternate.... as in not the same... so the timeline is involving as they continue to move forward. There. So all those inconsistencies are what? Right, the even flow of a newly developing timeline and future... Boom! You're welcome.

So to the awesome. Arnold rocks. The man is almost 70 and is wearing leather and mean muggin' CGI future assassins... F Yes! It is impossible to say that more Arnold is ever a bad thing in a terminator film, and he is absolutely living it up here... seemingly enjoying the heck outta returning to his Iconic role.

Emilia Clarke is one sexy and tough Sarah Connor, and I really liked her in the role. Jai Courtney as the new Reece is adequate. I won't say amazing, but he fills his role nicely. I mean really... this is Arnolds movie everyone else is just along for the ride. That said I liked everyone... the Psychiatrist returning from the first 3 films was a great touch. A little consistency is nice on occasion.

The script, something I as a writer, bring up often, is pretty damn fun. It goes for broke and why not for everyone involved this was the last terminator. Don't let reports fool you, this is a wrap up for the franchise. Could we see more? Sure. With what looks to be a 300-320 million worldwide haul on a 144 million budget... could happen. But if it doesn't. Here we go. All wrapped up in a nice little cyberdine bow.

The action seems (when not suffering from the aforementioned camera crap) really are fun. Guns emptying, robots clashing, grenades exploding... and Arnold with face skin missing. Yup. All requirements met.

This is one of those films that gets held under a microscope that it never warranted... this is a movie about time travelling robots. I don't think we need are brains treating it like a Hawking's presentation.

Man. Seriously. I am on point right now.

One thing, having been really excited to see Matt Smith have a role in this film... was pretty sad to see just how little he is used here. I mean not even one or two more scenes for all the Doc Who fans out there? For same big studio - for shame.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

ONE LINE REVIEW: Grab your nachos, nibs, soft drink, and prepare to be terminated!

CHUCK THE CRITICS! - Battleship (2012)

Oh man, here it is, a new, shiny thing... from your fav masterfilmator (is that a word? - is now!) ... This segment is where I find films that the internet at large, and all them shiny and surprisingly well compensated mainstream critics hate, and prove perhaps... No battle, for these films that were crushed and left for dead before the public at large could even give them a chance. No don't get me wrong, some films deserve hate (see my CRAP! segment) but we are a hate first society. Medi-ogres, Meh-heads, and just plain old HATERS. Because hating is just fun. And we like it. Well, you ever been watching a critics youtube playlist and thought to yourself - Man, does this person even like movies? Well, I do. So I will bravely fly into the face of the hate abyss, and try, despite the forces allied against me, to find hope... in the darkness... (Yay! Grab your chips)

So to start things off, why not go big? Which is probably what this film should have been called anyway. BATTLESHIP. Hot on the heels of Transformers the internet world was fuming. You see everyone said Transformers sucks! Its just brain dead CGI assault on the senses. Screw Michael Bay.... Blah blah, and then, well the world ignored them. The world said, screw it we wanna pay out 10$ a ticket and see the hell outta this movie. And the Blog-a-shere said "Wait, you mean they don't care what we say? No, we are important dammit we matter!". Then it happened again, Transformers: Dark Of the Moon. A worse movie, with a horrible title, and despite being hated by all critics (except maybe a select few I never read or saw) it made another billion dollars.

Well, then Hasbro decided they should make a 200 million dollar film based on a board game... and before the film even hit, the internet world said - No this is where we make our stand! 

So lets share the bad. Yes. This film is silly, and stupid, requires some suspension of disbelief... but I mean, really, don't most movies? How does batman get back to Gotham from the desert, and sneak into his city, or survive a nuke ... He's batman. How does Bond magically seduce all women... He's bond. No more logic needed. Sometimes I think we just choose which movies have to work harder... and thats... just not fair...

Seriously. Drink in this here awesome. 

This movie is pure big budget fun. You want your 1950s american Bravado, wrapped in an alien invasion, with a little Liam Neeson sprinkled on top? Hell yes you do. I knew in the first ten minutes I was gunna love this movie. Your by the book story goes... A young attractive bad boy (Taylor Kitsch) gets hauled into the navy after a run in with the law. Of course he just can't shake his bad boy ways... but naturally, he wins the love of the general's (Liam Neeson) Daughter (Super sexy blonde Brooklyn Decker). She sees his possibilities beneath all that crappy attitude and problems with authority. Then in the middle of an Navy exercise, aliens land and attack. Will the young troubled Navy boy shed his troubled ways and save mankind...

The suspense is I'm sure killing you.

What does any of this have to do with the board game? Honestly, should anyone care? NO! Its one thing to defend a comic or a book or an original film given the remake treatment. But this, this is a film based on a freaking board game. Ree-laxxxxx people.

Did I mention this film is also directed by Peter Berg? The man behind The Rundown (another criminally underrated flick), Hancock, Friday Night lights... etc. Really this movie is there to make you do two things... clap, and cheer. And it delivers. There is hardly a slow moment in this film. Do we need plot? NO! There's aliens, and they're dicks. Our soldier boys must defeat them! But here's where this film gets surprising, after basically an hour and 30 minutes of destruction, it develops a heart. In one of the most awe inspiring displays of War hero love (and really, shouldn't these old timers be honoured) a group of WWII heroes has to help the young guns in the final battle.

Gold.

Ladies. Gents. Brooklyn Decker. 

Did I mention Gregory D. Gadson, a real war hero, and amputee, who helps battle the aliens that make it to the ground? Well I did now. You see some of these "Haters" are gunna talk about how its cheese, selling out to the american public, but really... is putting some real war heroes into a classic style B invasion movie such a bad thing. The cast seems to be having a blast here. Revelling in the moment.

If this movie was made on a shoe string budget in 1954. It would be a classic, but drop a couple mill on it in the new millennium... and we gunna hate it into oblivion.

As I said there are moments that are stupid and not explained, but who cares. They even manage to get the old BATTLESHIP game board in this movie. Ya. Can you imagine the stress the screen writer was under for that. Speaking of the screen writer... well writer(s)... they knew what they were writing. Peter Berg knew what he was directing... and Liam Freaking Neeson knew what he was signing up for. FUN

F-U-N.

If you don't laugh and cheer while a giant warship is doing full screen battle with a giant alien spaceship with AC/DC blasting through your stereo... Than I think A little part of you has died. Just a little bit. It's only a matter of time until you will be hating on kids films for being too childish... oh wait that's already happening.

Crazy Haters you. Well not you... you're reading my blog. Which means there's hope! You are a Booniac... one of the few that seeks out better. Loves better. Lives with hope. Or at the very least... enjoys popcorn.

This is not a film to hold to the action standards of THE RAID, or the science fiction amazements of MOON. This is a B movie for the 2000s. And the big sci-fi loving kid inside me, is so OK with that.

Real Heroes. Real Bad ass aliens. (that, that shoulda been the tagline, M-Bay, call me homie)

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Action movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

One Line Review: AC/DC blasting, WWII heroes amassin', Alien Blasting, good times. 

#ChucktheCritics
#Battleship

Till next Booniacs!

- Charles Boonsweet

Jurassic World (2015)

DYNO-MITE

Ya I went there with that title. And you know what, I'll own up, I've been wanting to use that title for years... But I mean... when oh when would I ever get the chance... Sigh... tears, sadness. And then - Boom! The island of carnivorous dinosauri-ous mayhem reopened... and well... life is good.

So look, before I go balls deep in the Jurassic Jungles of 2015... I wanna go heart to heart with you out there. You fans, you bloggers, and well, all the weirdly shaped punks in-between. There are gunna be people out there that say things like "Nothing will ever beat the first film" ... "That Magic the original inspires just can't quite be duplicated" and blah blah. Look. I get the desire to protect the originals... Lord Knows I swore all kinds of R rated (the R is for Rage) when the crow reboot news dropped... but at some point isn't it okay to think maybe a 12 year old kid in a crowed theatre with his/her 3D glasses on might love the hell out of a giant ass Dino adventure as much as you - the first generation did? We gotta stop being so protective....

I'm gunna say this... I am gunna step up and say it... maybe not in all respects is it a better film that JURASSIC PARK but it does come close, and surprisingly in a more than a few areas, surpasses it.

Your story is... Twenty years later (ignoring the apparent city rampage of 2) the island has been reopened as a huge amusement park... indeed the very dream of the owner of the would be Jurassic Park of the original. So as people are now all "Ho-hum" with dinosaurs the park is creating a super hybrid, a test tube dino to scare up new interest. Chris Pratt stars as Owen, the man who has raised raptors and become all dino-knowledgy. He along with the park co-ordinator Claire (played by the always dashingly hot Bryce Dallas Howard), will have to handle another outbreak of dino-chaos and try to find her missing Nephews (who of course having come to visit due get caught up in the destruction).

So ah... they'll probably just taking a nap right? Ya. Sleepy dinos.

One thing I loved about this sequel was the love of the original. So many clever and subtle nods to the original. Heck they even went and included the park's central building in a major scene. But all kinds of things, the soundtrack creeping in... the Hologram of the Dinosaur with the neck popping thing facing the raptor... The field of Brontosaur that the children drive through... as such to me this sequel felt very organic. It felt like a continuation of the original (assuming you ignore The Lost world, and Jurassic Park 3).

The first film had a lot going for it... not the least of which was the all important - IT WAS THE FIRST. But it was not without it's flaws. This film keeps stride with the original in acting, directing, and score, I think you can argue that the subplot in the original with the stealing of DNA is more enjoyable that the military angle... but that's minor right. And including another set of siblings was a nice call... the romance story here is so obvious as they are so attractive that you know they are gunna end up together but still... Chris Pratt is proving film after film that his charisma has some seriously legs... I'm okay with this. Chris Pratt is the new Harrison Ford.

Boom.

And yes that is me endorsing the news that he may in fact inherit the Indiana Jones hat and whip.

Now to where this film really blows anything before it away... the action. Oh man the action. I went in knowing the effects would be amazing but the director and his team of CGI maestros have really managed to impress here. You will almost want to stand and cheer at some points... In fact if one of the main differences here would be that unlike the original they got for it rather than the slow build... I don't think thats such a bad thing.

Your best attack, is to go for the tongue... Right in the tongue, that'll stop it.

This is a summer movie for the masses. A film designed to make you smile, cheer, jump, and chew popcorn at a dangerous rate.. and it does. The finale is one of the best action scenes of the last few years, period. The effects dazzle. If you are sitting next to someone that says something like "Blah, another film just over stuffed with CGI..." punch them. Right in the face and yell - "ITS 2015 BITCH!" Or something like that. Listen this is the age of computer effects, and I have no problem with that, when they are done right, no problem at all.

Now to one glowing horrible moment that I have no doubt will parodied and mocked for years to come... At one point a giant dinosaur is chasing our attractive heroine to be, and she manages to out run the beast, however quickly, in high heels. The fact that the camera slows down and shows us these heels in all there fashion-runway-nowayshapeorform-outrun-a-dino-in-ness just amplifies the moment.

I can only think that someone somewhere went - Hey, Tim, ya, I was thinking, this movie is pretty awesome right, why, ah, why don't we give something to really bitch about... Ya, or we could just have her out run the thing in heels. Ya I know right, and then slowly pan to the heels to, so we really rub it in. They'll be so busy bitching about the heels no one will question things like what kind of amusement park would let kids pilot a gyro ball that costs millions through a field of multi ton animals... or how no one noticed any of the Indominus Rex's powers in all the years it took to grow to full size... or why exactly its almost as smart as a human... Ya... lets have em focus on the heels. 

Ha. Those guys I tell ya.

Look, as you can guess there are some silly plot points, but really, you just sat through an amazingly fun film that your kids, or the kid in you, loved, and isn't that what film is about? Not being a grumpy adult for 2 plus hours and feeling like you got your $ worth. And you did. U did.

Yes they set the sequel up and considering the film made over half a BILLION! dollars in its first week of release, I'm sure we will see many more trips to the perilous world of the Jurassic.

Movie Scale 3.5 out of 5 stars
Action movie scale 4 out of 5 stars

One line review: A huge and hugely fun return to the island!

-Chuck Boonsweet

The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

So what can you say about the Marvel Universe that hasn't already been said? Not too much. It is absolutely jaw dropping what they have accomplished. Sure, they have totally taken liberties with some of the comic story lines and such, but really, did the handful of people that cared about that really equal the millions of new fans it has brought to the universe of Marvel and in turn, to the comic medium... Nope, so I say let em go.

From Iron Man, to Guardians of the Galaxy (hell even that Daredevil show on Netflix rocked) they have brought heroes to life and together... and no showcase bigger than THE AVENGERS! Chris Evans' Captain America, some how managing to make what should have been a cheesy sub par film into a character that is at the heart of Marvel's success... Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man, from the start bringing the universe to life... Chris Hemsworth as Thor... Scarlett as Black Widow... Banner... Hawkeyes... Listen bottom line is no role is not acted with all the serious and fun these films need.

And you all know that, so really, what can ol' Boonsweet bring to the review table...

Well, let's see shall we dear Booniacs...

Avengers: Age of ultron ... Your story goes... The Avengers have been assembling to destroy some Hydra bases... they stumble across a major one that has produced two new threats (super powered twins, Scarlett Witch, and Quicksilver) ... but that doesn't compare to the threat Banner and Stark accidentally create by attempting to combine alien tech with their own ideas of protecting the earth. Enter the extremely entertaining but near inexplicably sarcastic and humorous, Ultron. From there... explosions, questions about what it is to be a hero... fun backstory, and then, uniting to stand against ultimate evil... and the like.

All the tech in the world and you deny me a middle finger... Oh I shake my fist at you sir!

So the good. Hawkeye gets some real screen time here. I think this film works if you look at the first Avengers as Iron Man, Captain America, and the Hulk's story... and then look at this one as Hawkeye, Black Widow's story. What about Thor you ask... do you need more Thor story? No you do not. He's a God, he has a hammer... and his girlfriend is never anywhere to be found. The balance at work here by director Joss Whedon is jaw dropping.

Look there will be Mediocres. Hey Boonsweet what the F is a Mediocre? So glad you asked dear audience. These are the debags that never really hate anything, but are never really impressed (I will attempt to have a better catchier name for these folks by end of review). They are gunna walk out of this film and say things like "It was alright" "I mean it had a few cool scenes" "I liked the first one a little bit more"... Yes there will be many of those. I feel however those folks are suffering from giant-film-itis (man I really am just re-writing Websters here - boom baby!). We've seen it all before. We've seen heroes, we've seen 200 million dollar effects, hell we've seen all these guys in a movie before... But thats the part that should impress...

It still manages to feel new. With the focus shifting to the secondary heroes (meaning those not yet given their own films) and the new Heroes, and villains, it feels like the story is continuing, not lingering. The action scenes are just pure comic gold. Watching Cap America and Thor use hero tag team moves can't help but get a smile or two. Iron Man vs Hulk... delivers. Though the ending is a bit of an expected cop out.

Lastly... and this is the big thing... Guardians of the Galaxy blew people away and obviously marvel is continuing bringing them a little closer to the Universe they have built (already having Thanos involved in both)... but there is a moment in this film... the first in the entire Marvel Universe for me when the big picture hit me. When I could see the lines connecting everything... and my Brain blew up with awesome.

No. No you said it, now you have to pick... who has the better hair? 

Now. To the bad. Some of the plot points are just blown by. Obviously, the need to move the movie along, and fit in certain threads to the aforementioned universe meant some things had to be shortened but damn... I mean Ultron shows up (again the - how and why-  kind of explained though not so much) and then an hour later he's neck deep in world domination. Why is Ultron a snarky little rascal? Well other than the great voice work from Spader I have no idea. Why would a cold calculating machine have one liners and dark humour?

Two. The twins. I actually really enjoyed the Twins involvement with this film, and I think I could have used a little more. But I bought their motivations, though maybe not quite how easily they decide to move past the avengers hate.

Three. The creation of Vision. Very cool, and I know very talented and Made-up Paul Bettany will be back, but we barely get to decide whether we like him or not before he's laser beaming stuff.

A last interesting note, and choosing to move away from the giant destructible cities of America I think they really tapped into "Threat of death" and "Consequence". To everyone that bitches about the amount of destruction in these films... well apparently you didn't grow up watching your fav characters level an entire city each week on Saturday Morning... and heck if you grew up in Japan Goku was destroying entire parts of the earth on a weekly basis. I have no time for that BS, however, if you were concerned there were never consequences - this is the film... sure it has crazy action... but in tying it to a smaller, impoverished, town, they've tried to bring the consequences to the big screen.

And lastly... okay the last lastly I promise, since I do blog in real time. To the Haters and Mediogres (yup its decided I just coined that phrase for all those fence riding Mediocres) who are hating on his Black Widow in this film... listen 50 million people heck 100 million people are gunna see this film... shouldn't it be expected a few thousand are going to horribly misinterpret events? Or see them in a light no one else will get... or heck, just plain go to crazy town... anyone who thinks the Black Widow suffered from Slut like stuff, and woman putting down, will apparently you have no idea what she has done regularly since she came into existence at Marvel. That is all. Stop being ridiculous people and eat your popcorn!

Anyway. More bang for your buck than any other film this year almost guaranteed... Mad Max Fury Road - might have a shot.

Listen let it be known I AM A DC man. And like every other DC fan out there I just keep waiting for DC to step up and start to put Marvel in their place... But I think I have to admit (though if given the right films I will stand beside DC for life)... Marvel really has something here. The direction it is going... ANT-MAN is even starting to stir my interest. I just keep thinking... Honey I shrunk the kids meets Stan Lee.

Movie scale 4 out of 5 stars
Super Hero Movie scale 4 out of 5 stars

Pure fun. Yes. But also heart, and character building... and like I said... a true Jaw Dropping moment.

One line review: Joss Whedon knocks this outta the park, and lot, and into that little cart that sells nachos. 

#Avengers2
#AvengersAgeofUltron

So sayeth the Boonsweet!