I bring you, finally, the death of Superman

SUPERMAN/DOOMSDAY (2007, animated)

Okay, Bryan Singer is obviously a damn good director. The Usual Suspects, and the comic powerhouses that were the first two X-men flicks, but, and it pains me to say this, seriously, he took the most powerful, most well known hero, and made a nice, artsy, sweet, boring, piece of critic praise... otherwise known as, "Superman Returns". How you make a Superman movie without a showdown, without a punch thrown, robot hurled through a building, insert own other want here, is so beyond me. Well Superman fans, though they have promises much more boom for your buck in the upcoming "Superman: Man of steel (2009)", till then I give you an awesomely entertaining piece of Superman flick that is "Superman/doomsday".

Okay so lot of things already going for this flick, before you even watch the dang thing. 1, the same folks behind the cartoons, Batman, Superman, Justice League, and Justice League Unlimited, are backing this one, and 2, it involves Doomsday. For those that don't know, well, damn it bitches, do some research. Doomsday killed Superman in the comics, biggest selling comic of all time I might add, nothing even comes close. So when I heard these guys were getting together and doing their interpretation of the tale, I got girl scout cookie delivery giddy. And, after watching, this, THIS is the flick "Superman Returns" wishes it was.

The action in this tale is fantastic. We're barely 5 minutes in, bang, Superman and Doomy Doom are going at it hardcore, and for quite a while. The fight direction is fantastic. Slow motions, exploding buildings, blow for blow, one of the funnest fights to watch, ever, in animated form. I'll put this up there with any of the animes you wanna throw at me. Now, yes it does deviate from the original story, but how could they not really, with the average viewer having no idea who some of the players and story lines from the original comic were. So he gets his fight on, and then the fun really begins with a Superman returning form the grave, but different somehow... oh Lex Luthor do you have something to do with it... hmmmmm

Anyone ever seen "An evening with Kevin Smith"? If you have their is a lovely reference in this to a certain mechanical spider... too sweet, loved it. So you in the mood for popcorn and some epic ass whompin', Superman style?... If you walked out of Superman Returns going, "How'd they make a kid", and, "Did Kumar just kick Superman's ass?" Then this should be as sweet therapy for you, as it was me. Great take on the legendary tale, great voice work, animation is top notch, and the writing is a lot darker, and mature, than Saturday mornings let me tell you (solid PG 13 rating).

Enjoy, I am sure I will be watching this movie many more times, just to enjoy sharing it with my comic loving herds :)

Movie scale : 3.5 stars out of 5 

Comic movie scale: 4.5 out of 5 stars

I'm wearing my undies outside my pants right now... and it feels gooooooooood... ha

Boony outta this beyotch

With my third eye of future vision... I see another average remake

THE EYE (2008)

Yet another Asian horror remake. As a huge slasher fan, and the golden age of American horror, it never ceases to piss me off watching film companies sacrifice creativity, for ripping off anything that comes out of Asia, and gains attention. The Ring, The Messengers, The Grudge, One Missed Call, Shutter, The Ring 2, The Grudge 2... and the list goes on. Hell even "The Departed", and "Collateral" are freaking remakes. It really is disgusting, for a few reasons, it shows the true trouble the film industry of America is in, and it isn't piracy, it's lack of new ideas, and 2, the Asians do it better, way better in most cases. But until someone tells these American producers that simply taking a good idea and throwing a budget at it, don't make it better, I imagine we'll keep seeing them.

So the original "The Eye" wasn't really a horror film, so much as a good thriller, with a couple of jump moments, and the remake stays true that path. So if you're looking for blood and guts and scares, this ain't what you gonna get. Jessica "I wear no sexy outfits in this film" Alba plays a blind woman who regains her sight thanks to an eye transplant. One problem, the eyes seem to come with the ability to see ghosts, and creepy shadow demon things. Of course no one believes her, and since she's just getting used to the world, she's not even sure. However, as they get worse, she decides to find out who her donor was, convinced this "gift" was based down through the transplant.

Okay, Jessica Alba is not a horrible actress, problem is she's not great either. Here is a perfect example of some one wanting to be seen for more than their looks, and well, sorry to say, just doesn't have the acting chops to back it up. Jessica can be really good in the right role, "Fantastic Four", "Into the blue", "Sin City", ... and many other fun flicks, but in this film, with all eyes on her, and more than a few really emotional, trying scenes, well she pulls some off, but not all. There was one scene with her coughing, well, it was bad. That being said, the one major problem with these Asian remakes, is that more often than not, the American version doesn't quite get the characters right. Trying to speed up the plot, and action, in the belief that the North American audience, won't sit and let the story build. In doing that though, the heart is lost. And some of the writing in this version is just rough. One scene that stands out as really bad; Jessica is trying to talk the doctor into helping her find out who donated her eyes, to which he says of course he can't he'd lose his license... So Jessica gives him a cold look and says "Oh well, you worry about your - license". I mean, of course he will, it's only his life, and job, shit. 

The scares are few and far between, and really if you've seen the original, they are direct rip offs, and not as freaky round 2. It's an interesting story with a few cool moments, but not as good as the original, and I mean really, as far as Asian thrillers go, the original wasn't at the top of my list to begin with. Jessica Alba, perhaps one day will be at the level to carry a movie like this on her own, but not yet. 

Not scary, average to bad acting, average to bad writing, and some rough directing. No real reason to see this, other than that one coughing scene... ha. Anyway, I guess with "One missed Call", and this one being the last two mainstream remakes, I'm pretty scared for the next one, which I believe will be shutter.

movie scale 2 out of 5 stars

Keep your eyes off this one folks.... Ha, 'eyes', I'm soooooo clever....

-Chuck B. Boonsweet

Faster than a tank missile, able to leap tall building in a single jet powered launch...

IRON MAN (2008)

Finally, I mean sweet (insert a range of profanities to make my point more then made) finally, a super hero movie that completely, A) Lives up to the hype, B) Has action, a lot of awesome action, and C) Can be fun for the whole family without annoying you with shitty one liners, and stupid plot changes. That's right folks, here it is, 2008's first big ass blockbuster, get off your ass and go see this thang.

Tony Stark(Robert Downey Jr.) is a billionaire weapons designer/seller/playboy. He's a genius, who really doesn't care too much for anything but fun, and being Tony Stark. On a trip to Afghanistan to promote his latest weapon to interested buyers, his envoy is attacked, and he is taken hostage. Badly injured, Tony is saved by a fellow prisoner, who manages to install a electromagnet into his chest, allowing his heart to keep beating, powered by a large battery. When Tony wakes he is told he has to design a new weapon for the terrorists that have captured him. They have a large amount of weapons his company has made for parts. He decides instead to build, first, a better battery for himself, and then a suit of armor that will be powered by it. Then when finished he blows his way out, and is rescued. Back in the U.S. of A, he decides he don't want to be responsible for any more lives lost due to his weapons, and much to his companies dismay, vows no more weapon dealing.

Then he locks himself in his basement and perfects the armor suit design, in hopes of helping others harmed by his company's weapons deals, eventually creating the suit he'll be known for, the red and gold.

Robert Downey Jr., is a brilliant actor. No one can deny that, in fact I would put him in my top 5 all time, but the drugs, and a few bad choices have led to him being all but forgotten by the mainstream, well welcome back Rob, I have a feeling you'll be here for a while. The supporting acting is awesome around him too, front top to bottom. Gwyneth "Yes I named my first kid Apple" Paltrow, as his assistant, and perhaps the only woman he hasn't been with, is great. Terrance Howard as his best friend (and destine to be in a suit of armor himself come sequel time, they even play to that. War Machine, yeah that's right bitches I occasionally read a comic), I mean, you know he's good. Jeff Bridges as the money driven businessman is great. Just all around. The writing is great, all the way through. The humor is really funny, and doesn't seem forced, his R2D2 family friend, robot pal, is a blast. The action scenes are fantastic, and the show down, though a little short, does not disappoint (unlike "superman returns", oh what's that he lifted a giant rock out of the ocean? Wow that's a great show down, glad I spent my money on that 250 million flick). 

In short, all you could ask for to kick the summer off. Also, Marvel's first film solo from any other film studios, looking good for marvel. Stay till after the credits, there is a lovely must see scene, Marvel firing the first shot at DC. Obviously bringing their universes together, and sparking a future multi super hero flick (especially with Tony Stark's rumored appearance in the new "Hulk" film). DC's been talking about doing a BATMAN/SUPERMAN, or JUSTICE LEAGUE film for ever, but it looks like Marvel will be the first to bring different franchises together in one universe, and one film. I am tingly already. Seriously, my left nipple is vibrating right now.

movie scale 4 out of 5 stars

Super Hero scale 4.5 out of 5 stars

You know they'll be more Iron Man coming, and I can't wait.

Boonsweet out bitches 

Wherever they go, I will follow

HAROLD AND KUMAR: ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY (2008)

If you didn't like the first film, "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle", you more than likely will not like this sequel, that simple. I remember going to see the first one on a whim with a few friends, didn't expect too much, a few laughs. Lo and behold, I laughed throughout, and after a disappointing theatre gross (5.5 million), it made a whole bunch of folks laugh on video. Building quite the little following, anxious for more, and finally more came.

It does not disappoint bitches, damn was this flick fun. The plot is messed up, picking up exactly where the first left off, Harold and Kumar, on their way to Amsterdam (to follow Harold's love interest, and get much legally high). Problem occurs when Kumar decides to smoke weed on the flight, with his new invention, the smokeless bong. Of course being of Indian descent, when he is discovered with the bong, he is quickly thought to be a terrorist, and he and Harold are taken down, and brought to a holding facility. Where they meet the completely racist, and retarded temp head of the agency, who sends them to the worst U.S. holding prison, Guantanamo Bay. They escape, and from there embark on an adventure that involves, a bottomless party (yes, exactly what you are thinking), the KKK, the ghetto, rednecks, NPH #2 (meaning Neil Patrick Harris's second adventure), and the "creme de la creme" George W. Bush.

Now the wonderful thing about having a film with minority leads, complete and utter no holds barred racial humor. There are way too many funny moments that really draw on the stereotypes we have on many races, and on America itself. Though they are over the top in many cases, I thought the writers managed to get a few points across. None more awesome than the scene of them getting high with the "W" himself (Played by a professional George W. Bush look-a-like, and damn does he look and act like him). That scene alone is worth the price of admission, watching the "W" get high and tell his Dad to "F" off over the phone while they all giggle and get more high is just priceless.  And NPH is back, and not missing a step this time around... 

There are a few jokes that will be missed by peeps maybe not as familiar with politics, or some of the more un-obvious racial stereotypes, but even those are fun. The heart of the story is a fun little love tale of Kumar (who it turns out was not always a stoner, in a swell little flashback scene) trying to win back his first love. Nothing too original there, but it is fun, and she is hot. Also, the marijuana bag he married in the first film is back... and it gets dirty folks, boy howdy, so wrong... ha. Complete stoner, minority, chaos, I loved it, laughed all through. Is it better than the first one? I don't know... I'd say at the least it's as good, but that "W" scene might just sway me to say it's better... 

movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

comedy scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

- Boonsweet sayin stay high bitches, and watch for those shiny horn unicorns (Luv it NPH)

Oh sweet bloody brain munching awesomeness

DIARY OF THE DEAD (2008)

Zombie fans, unite, partake of the alcohol, partake of the party, the (arguably) Godfather of the genre is back, and I tell you now, it does not suck.

Okay so what happen to Mister "Night of the Living Dead" last time out? Well he made a little film called "Land Of the Dead", starring, as I am sure you could have guessed by the wonderfully straight forward title, zombies. Difference between this and his (insert choir) "Living Dead Trilogy" [Night, Dawn, Day] was that someone gave him a budget. Okay, Romero with a budget? I was worried but the film was actually pretty decent until, oh my god, until the last thirty seconds, when, after surviving waves of the undead, the lone heroes of the film, armed with a super tank thing, come across a large group of Zombies. There, faced with the chance to re-dead the undead horde, for whatever reason, they decide that the dead, well "They're just looking for a place of their own"... and they freaking let them go. My brain broke, my heart exploded with betrayal... on so on. How could Romero do something like that? His statement has always been an examination of us as a civilization, our brutality, hate. Never has there been a doubt that dead things, are well, dead. And hence, deserve to be underground, not given a reservation... so finally Romero returns, back to his roots, no money, crank up the make up gore... and do this.

Film follows a group of film students, who, on the eve of the Zombie outbreak (how? No explanation needed, zombies are here, and go...), head out in a large motor home. First destination, collect one's girlfriend, and then help for an injured ally. Things go gradually down hill, and much more gory once they get to the hospital, where they all begin to accept what's happening. From there they embark towards the home a girl's parents, that they be travelling with. As imagined they meet all kinds of people and situations along the way. Military become thieves, gang bangers and others uniting, and taking over a town. A kick ass Amish mute deaf guy, who might just be the best small role in a horror flick I have seen in quite sometime. Eventually, they find themselves at a friends, trying to decide the next, if not final move, as zombie hordes close in.

The gore in this film is fantastic, I mean your usual zombie stuff, head shots, neck blood chunkness. But Romero really cranked it up here, finding all kinds of inventive ways to off folks... I think the heart charger paddle things to the head, and exploding (I'll let you guess) was just swell. And the Amish guy, well, he has that grim reaper blade on a stick thing, that a can't seemed to remember how to spell, but you can imagine the fun there.

Film is directed brilliantly. It is shot first person through a handheld camera, but they tell you at the beginning they've edited, and added sound effects to make the film more realized, and effective. So basically you get cheap hand held technique, but still get the soundtrack, and cool TV clips of the zombie apocalypse, worked in. Brilliant. Romero has you on the edge of your seat more than once, playing around, jumping from handheld camera, to recovered security camera footage. Just fun to watch what a great director can do in his zone, and with more than a little freedom. The writing is bang on for the most part, as per the usual, George "A+" Romero, he gets a lot out of a fairly unknown cast.

If you like zombie flicks, I pretty sure this will find a way on to your shelf. Blood, scares, typical social commentary, and a really enjoyable pace, and plot. 

Dig it bitches, dig it.

Movie scale 3.5 out of 5 stars

Horror/Zombie scale 4.5 out of 5 stars

One of the greats, reminds us why he is that damn good.

Boony is happy, covered in zombie remains, and hungry, lata bitches

Not freaking funny

FUNNY GAMES U.S. (2008)

Do not watch this piece of crap movie...

You know for a while, and if I had written this review yesterday, that would have been my entire review. No rating, nothing, just that. Then after thinking on it a bit I figured what the hell, I might as well tell you a wee bit as to why I feel this way. Now, as most of the Booniacs out there know, I try to avoid spoilers as much as possible, in this case I do not care. I have not been this pissed at a flick in a long time.

Let's start with the good. The acting is brilliant. I mean five star brilliant, across the board. Tim Roth, and Naomi Watts, are great, and the supporting cast is fantastic. The directing which at first looks to be as awesome, will eventually just piss you off. I get that this director has a real hard on for focusing on the reactions to something, rather than the audience being able to see for them selves... but you know, I'm sitting here, I have eyes, I wanna see the damn thing, and have my own reactions. As well, he seems to enjoy just leaving the camera perched looking at, say, a house. For a whole minute before we see the characters come into frame.

Okay here we go... Rich, likable, family goes to their cottage. Where creepy Michael Jackson fans (I say this only because of the white gloves) take them hostage, and play some very serious, life and death games. So as mentioned, usually when something violent happens, the camera is focused on someones reaction... Husband getting stabbed, we see wife cry, hear him scream, that short of shizzie. At first cool, then just annoying. And every so often the main bad guy will say something to the camera. At first cool, but in conjunction with the ending, stupid, stupid, stupid. So these bad guys are not funny, not cool, hip, or anything. They're just evil, and annoying as hell, you hate them. Then they blow the head of an eight year old boy with a double barrel shot gun and you hate them more. Movie is full of tense, nail biting moments... and I must say, had my undivided attention until... well until this happen...

Mom gets hold of their gun about 3 quarters of the way in to the film, after her son is killed, and blasts one of the two with their own gun. My friend and I both jumped off the couch, arms raised. Because at that point you want them to die so bad. Then the other Bad guy left, takes the gun away from her, and starts screaming "Where's the remote?" He finds the television remote and ... I can feel the stupidity rage raising in me... rewinds the movie. That's right, right in the middle of a wickedly realistic film. Intense, involved, son of a bitch pulls an Adam Sandler 'click' moment and rewinds the film to before his friend was shot, then takes the gun out of reach of the wife, telling her she's not allowed to do that. Then he shots her husband, and they take her out into the lake and kill her.

When he rewound the film, my buddy stood up, told me to shut the piece of s--- off. I watched it to the end. Apparently these guys are god, because not only did that bastard rewind reality, but then they notice the wife trying to cut her ropes on the boat and throw her over board. While on the boat they have a stupid discussion of reality vs. film and the lines between, obviously some zen moment to explain the retardedness I had just witnessed... I really didn't care by that point. Boonsweet's middle finger was raised. 

Now I get the director/writer's theme here. You are not in control, you will watch what you are allowed to watch. But they have control. They can do what ever they want and all you can do is watch, deciding for yourself whether they are reality... or something like that. Who cares. Perhaps some of the best screen performances I have seen in years, wasted on a directors love with his own "genius". I can just see this guy saying things like, "The idea of this film is to take the power from the audience. To have them feel as weak and unable as the family".... blah blah... I hate you. I hate your film. And I am sure this is the most unprofessional I have ever been, but god I hate self indulgent crap like this.

Movie scale 2 out of 5 stars (purely for the performances)

C.B.B. is moving on to something better, maybe with ninjas.... lata  

Depp the neck slicin' music man...hmmm

SWEENEY TODD (2008)

Burton is god. Well okay not 'the' god (Buddha, Allah, Christ, whatevs your poison may be), but he definitely has a cloud on Olympus reserved. I mean, Batman, Beetlejuice, Nightmare before Christmas, Sleepy Hollow, etc, etc. The list is extensive (despite the occasional falling, 'Planet of the Apes' for example) and almost entirely rocking. The guy is a strange looking, Helen Bonham Carter sex having, whacked out movie making fool. And his following is extensive, as is the fanbase for his, often, partner in crime, the legend himself Johnny "Don't call me Cry baby" Depp.

Arguably Depp is one of the greatest actors of our generation, or any for that matter. His talents are in full display here. So first, do you like musicals? If not, this film will either win you over, or you will forever be unconvinced of the musicals place in modern film. I mean there is a chance the strange factor, buckets of blood, and Depp, might be just be enough to win you over. Depp plays a former barber master, who hooked up with uber hot blonde. The local creepy bad guy (played by the ever so wonderfully evil, Alan Rickman), the Judge, makes up some charge, and ships Depp off to a black hole prison somewhere on false charges, so that he can get his wife.

15 years later Depp returns as the revenge driven Sweeney Todd, finding his wife dead, and his daughter grown and in possession of his nemesis, the Judge (who actually intends on marrying the 15 year old). He opens a barber shop with a creepy pie maker, Helen, and he begins to thin London's population care of neck slicin' shaving jobs. And then Helen bakes them into London's new hit pies. A side plot of a young sailor that rode with Depp to London pursuing his grown daughter, much to the dismay of the Judge.

The blood shed is extreme, the film is distinctively creepy, Depp is awesome, as are the supporting cast. And the singing is good... I never did see the play it is based on, but I have been assured by a few friends that have, that it is a great stage to screen transfer. So did I like this film? I am so torn. On the one hand the film is a great time, Burton and Depp, on the top of their game... on the other hand, the singing just annoyed the hell out of me. Now I love musicals, okay, if done right, they can be quite the great little passing of time, and the thought of a blood soaked Burton musical made my left nut tingle. But my pet peeve with musicals is when the characters sing every thing, like every plain Jane sentence has to be sung. Like I want to explain how I walked to the door and back... why say it when I can sing and dance it. God at some parts I was like, shut up and talk dammit. There is maybe 17 sentences of non singing in this film, I understand the play is sing sing sing, but this is a film. Sitting in a theatre and watching people dance across the stage is lost in the transfer, and the continual singing has a tendency to really take you out of the film. 

I'm sure folks are already getting out their angry thumbs and fingers, and getting ready to hate mail me on this, well bring it douches, i have no inbox, wha ha ha ha ha (I think the evil laugh loses something in the transfer). I am sure with the production, and directional flare of Burton, as well as the plot, this film will find itself (and rightfully so) to cult status in no time, but it is not a favorite of mine. Just too much high pitched plot singing. Too much. 

(Picture me singing this, while dancing) "OOoooooo, I must now go, my review is done, it was fun, and long because I type slow.... Ooooooo, hopefully you laughed, so hard your seventh drink made a splash, have no fear, shed not a tear, Chuck B. Boonsweet is here... and this bitch bees goin no where... 

movie scale 3 out of 5 stars

Cult status 3.5 out of 5 stars

Oh look out for Sacha (Sexy time Borat) Cohen, he was fantastic in a small supporting role.