Thursday, May 2, 2013

Arrrrrrrrr-Nold!

THE LAST STAND (2013)



Ok. People. It is time to accept something. The action films of the 90s that we all love were cheesy, formulaic, and nonsensical fun. There was a basic plot. Villain, henchman, one lone un-buyable hero, violence. That was it, possibly with one to two sets of boobs. And we hold them in high regard. Well, instead of bitching about how they Just don't make them like they used to, maybe its time when they do we support it... instead of you know bashing how basic, and formulaic it is... Really....

Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to the big screen in a starring role for the first time since I believe Terminator 3. So ya, kinda a big deal. They pair him with an asian film maker of supreme abilities - Jee Woon Kim (man behind the awesome The good, the bad, and the weird, and I saw the devil). Sprinkle in some grade A classic plot: Super cartel bad guy escapes federal custody by way of a reved up ride, and with the help of a private army, heads for the border. The only man in his way Sheriff Ray "I will terminate you" Owens.

Yup it's all here. Big City cop burnt out, looking to live out his days in small town peace. The deputy that just wants the job to be more exciting. The bad boy, and woman cop who just might work out. And the comedic relief with the heart of gold (who also collects giant guns).

This folks is perhaps the first film I have been able to say this about in years - WELCOME BACK ACTION MOVIE! Hard R rating. Blood everywhere. Arnold spouting off some classic one liners. The shoot outs are awesome. Intense, were crafted, and just the right amount of humour every three or four bodies to smooth it over. I was seriously cheering at parts just due to the giddy awesome. For instance, Arnold tackles a man off a roof, then proceeds to blow his head off while they are falling. Why? Don't know. Was it overkill? Yup. Did I love it? Hells bells - yes!

I watched this film with my buddy and we were actually laughing and high fiving throughout... well okay, one high five, but it was legit... seriously legit high fivage... is it still kool to add "Age" after things? Or did that go out when twitter came in? Before twitter came in?

Screw it, moving on.

The bad guys do little more than growl and die - don't need anything more really. Arnold is loving the screen chewing up scenery whenever possible. And they even manage to fit in an awesome final showdown. Yes. You know how much I love me a good showdown, and what has been lacking... what have I been ranting about - leave it to Schwarzs to bring it back.

I approved of every moment of this film...

Like this one...
Um, Johnny... I really don't see anyone there...
Did you not see the sweetness that was the alternate poster at the beginning? I know you down.

Movie scale 3 out of 5 stars
Action movie scale 4 out of 5 stars

My highest action rating in a while. Blood, more blood, fast cars, a corn field... and more blood. Make time, and call your boys... this one deserves company!

Charles B Boonsweet is out this chillage yo!

@Tallwhitefox 

2 comments:

Dan O. said...

This is one of those movies where you just have to sit back and watch crap blow up. Nice review.

Boonsweet & Bucklesworth said...

Thanks. And yessir. Popcorn and/or chips of some kind, and bam! you are good to go